Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Weekend Edition

“I’m Rick James, bitch.” – Rick James (February 1, 1948 – August 6, 2004)

Friday February 1

 Kitchen Nightmares (8PM, FOX)  Ramsay tries to help a bickering brother and sister whose Beaver, Pa., restaurant Levanti’s is failing.

Me and my sister can’t settle on a movie to watch so let’s use failing in relative terms here.

The 44th NAACP Image Awards (8PM, NBC)  The NAACP recognizes artistic achievements by people of color.

**Looks over both shoulders** Okay…

Spartacus: War of the Damned (9PM, Starz)  Spartacus tries to provide food and shelter for his people

I hope he doesn’t think that this will guarantee himself the million dollars.

Merlin (10PM, Syfy)  A decision that may put all of Camelot in jeopardy.

“I’d like to make it a true daily double, Alex.”

Portlandia (10PM, IFC)  Local baristas draft a coffee shop manifesto.

“First, never rush to complete somebody’s order.”

Saturday February 2

 American Ninja Warrior (8PM, NBC)  Previously unseen footage includes top finishers from preliminary rounds tackling a challenging obstacle course.

The continued bastardization of Japanese game shows. In Japan, they attempt the course for honor.  In America, unless you throw money at us we ain’t getting off our asses.

NFL Honors (9PM, CBS)  The best athletes and performances of the 2012 season are honored

And the best use of deer antlers goes to…

Girls (10PM, HBO)  Jessa meets Thomas-John’s parents.

And realizes how much of a number age can be.

Sunday February 3

Super Bowl XLVII (6:30PM ET, CBS)  Baltimore Ravens vs. San Francisco 49ers

Tonight I will play “How many times will Phil Simms and Jim Nantz drive me to drink?” Neh, hello friends I say to my bottles of Jameson.

Rachael vs. Guy Celebrity Cook Off (10PM, Food)  Two food trucks will be brought into the parking lot and the teams must create a theme and a menu for their truck.

Because if anyone knows about a food truck, it is a celebrity.  Then again, these guys aren’t really celebrities.

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