Top Chef Finale: Dinged By A Wing

32 Comments

1. 1
   vallegirl
   Posted March 4, 2013 at 8:02 am

   This is the SECOND time in TC history that there was no reunion. They conveniently didn’t shoot one for the second season finale, either.

   And this has nothing to do with the finale but I caught Tom and his wife Lori plugging her new documentary, A Place at the Table, this weekend and, well, all I can say is I will never say another bad thing about Tom. He was on Up with Chris Hayes and talking about hunger in America and school lunch programs and being a restaurateur and he’s pretty awesome.

   And Lori? Is a force to be reckoned with. She just took over her Daily Show interview and was so passionate about the movie it will make you want to go volunteer at a food bank. They just seem like a very admirable couple who are actively trying to give back to their community.

2. 2
   Scooby
   Posted March 4, 2013 at 8:23 am

   Bring on Hell’s Kitchen! J-Mo, please tell us you’re (and I mean you specifically) recapping it!!!

3. 3
   badgerfreak
   Posted March 4, 2013 at 9:08 am

   J-Mo, you did us proud all season long! Thanks for all your hard work, and lets be honest, some of those episodes were HARD work!

   I was legitimately surprised they didn’t do a Hell’s Kitchen where they went Kristen-Brooke-Kristen-Brooke-Kristen. Shocked, actually. But, thank goodness they didn’t.

   Your screen grab of the leopard print background extra was amazing. I didn’t see it when I watched the episode, but I guffawed at my desk. Awesome.

   Glad to see Kristen win. She deserved it. And she was still humble about it. A winner. I just wish it wasn’t so rank with production collusion!

   Can’t wait to read you next season!

   @Scooby, J-Mo doesn’t do Hell’s Kitchen, but BlueCanary and PopePhil (sp?) do, and they do an amazing job as well. Hell’s Kitchen starts this summer!

4. 4
   CrazyTrain
   Posted March 4, 2013 at 9:33 am

   J-Mo, you rock <3

5. 5
   NotWithoutMyTV
   Posted March 4, 2013 at 10:20 am

   J-Mo, I think product placement is aimed at those young whipper snappers who were weaned straight off the teat onto iPads. They see so much media, they don’t even notice that jarring transition from show to commercial at all. Way back in their subconscious, lodged in between sparkle vampires and Instagram, is Dr. Scholl’s Corn Remover, or whatever TC is whoring itself out to this week.

   It’s probably fun to watch the cats chew up Starbursts, but cleaning up the resulting barf probably isn’t much fun. Cuidado: Vómito de gato!!

6. 6
   sheesh
   Posted March 4, 2013 at 10:37 am

   Gah…CJ needs a swift kick in the ball.

   I am going to try to get Rodel to dress up (and when I say dress up I mean buy a knit hat) like Sheldon for Halloween this year.

7. 7
   Hatched One
   Posted March 4, 2013 at 11:37 am

   I also caught Tom C. on Up with Chris Hayes and was very impressed with his ideas and opinions. I’m sorry I missed Lori on the Daily Show (dagnabbit!)

   My sister asked me yesterday if I watch Top Chef and I replied “Hell, no! But I faithfully read the recaps!”

   Jo-Mo, your kitties have very pretty faces.

8. 8
   PacoSauce
   Posted March 4, 2013 at 11:54 am

   I loved the preview of the finalists on Andy Cohwn because there was not a fuck to be given between the two of them. I don’t blame them, because I would have been pissed to be in that finale. It can’t be about simply making the best meal of your life when you’re keeping traxk of the score and making 160(?) plates. Just no. No me gusta.
   The Drag Race references were so very appreciated though. And unlike Drag Race, the returning contestant actually stuck around for more than an episode. Despite the really terrible parts of this season, she’s one of my favorite winners.

9. 9
   Scooby
   Posted March 4, 2013 at 12:06 pm

   @badgerfreak I think Hell’s Kitchen starts Tuesday, 3/12. You’re right BlueCanary and PopePhilly do HK. And just as awesomely as J-Mo does TC!

10. 10
    zerocool
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    Yep Scooby is right, HK starts this month for some reason.

    I don’t know much about fancy food, but I recently tried bone marrow for the first time. It looked disgusting, but it tasted incredible. One of the best things I’ve ever eaten; I highly recommend it. So I understand why that dish won over a chicken wing.

    Thank you J-Mo for your awesome work on some truly tepid episodes. Although I will give the producers some slight credit that they picked the right two to be finalists. And either one can give some credibility to the TC title, although Kristen was my fave just for being awesome.

11. 11
    Saffy
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    Thought this episode sucked until I read your recap…brilliant! I mean it!!!

    Thanks for making my day! I was glad Top Model won, but felt quite down when I realized there wouldn’t be a reunion episode. Season 10, full of crap surprises till the very end.

    I’ll really miss reading your recaps…thanks for making me laugh through some of the most painful scenes of this season! You’re awesome!

12. 12
    JimbobJones
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:13 pm

    In this forgettable crap-ball of a season, your recaps have been the best part.

    Thanks!

13. 13
    badgerfreak
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    Say it isn’t so! I’m so excited for HK to start! You guys made my day! Thanks!

    Oh, and J-Mo, your kitties truly are adorable! I can’t imagine having my own kitty eat a Starburst though…

14. 14
    lindaw205
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Okay, lost my long post so I’ll condense.

    Season 6 will always be the best season for me. Everything else since then has gotten progressively worse. I used to think of it as an upscale cooking show that was really about the cooking. They’ve proved that I was wrong, it’s nothing but a game show with loads of producer manipulation and flashing lights.

    Thanks for your great recaps, J-Mo!

15. 15
    lindaw205
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    P.S. – They didn’t have a reunion show because they knew they had too much shit to answer for.

16. 16
    sagittariuskim
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 5:20 pm

    What’s going on in the 1st pic of Chica and Chunky? Why does it look like Chica(?)’s head is coming out of Chunky(?)’s stomach?

    I think Li’l Volt’s cuteness makes up for some of his douchiness.

    I’ll miss your recaps, but I’m glad this season is over. Kristen winning only makes this season slightly better than season 7.

    @NotWithoutMyTV: Nope the product placement’s for you geezers. We young people don’t have a long enough attention span for something to lodge subconsciously , what with our ADD and all.

17. 17
    Chicken Lips
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    Brooke deserved to lose the third round – EVERYBODY knows you don’t serve crispy dragon anuses with poultry. Had she made a nice ribeye to go with them, she would have been golden.

    And I do buy C*n*d* Dr* D**t G*ng*r*l*, but only because it’s the only diet pop my mom will drink and since she isn’t supposed to have sugar it is our only option. I don’t find it refreshing in the slightest and I sure as hell don’t use it to make ice cream or as a foam loogie to adorn my plate – I pop the can, shove a straw in it and tell her to go to town. She was drinking that stuff before Top Chef made it “cool”.

18. 18
    Detinha
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    I ‘ll miss the J-caps!! You made the last seasons bearable, J-Mo! Thank you! I’m glad Flipit let you out of the writers sweatshop he’s running in the Gasm basement but I hope you come back soon!

    I try to make a point of not buying anything that celebs endorse, especially those shoved down on us via Reality shows.

    I share with you the deslike for The Volt. Come to think about I think the only TCs I like are Howard and Stephanie. I might like Paul, but I didn’t watch his season, So my opinion is based on your recaps.

    I’m not food expert, buy I like to watch good chefs cooking, like Jacques Pepin, Hubert Keller , the late Julia Child and the way they do, French Food doesn’t seen overcomplicated! TC really like show off and snoot!
    Thanks for the great recaps and kitties!
    Love!

19. 19
    Rachel
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    Whew! So relieved this sorry excuse for a Top Chef season is over! I’m not sure I would have survived without your killer recaps, J-Mo. I’m just sorry this is the first season I knew about them!

    I hope the producers have lurked the forums and feedback and undo some of the damage they did to the show this year.

    Thanks again for all your hard work, J-Mo!

20. 20
    JimbobJones
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    @Detinha — If you like Pepin, I HIGHLY recommend his book “The Apprentice”… it’s nice to read a book about a chef who isn’t a giant douchebag. Don’t get me wrong, Kitchen Confidential is one of my favorite books, but still…

21. 21
    AliceinPopLand
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    Even with my extremely prejudiced hate-on for StacheBear I still believe last season in Texas was worse. At least this one wasnt full of bullies! I miss Bev. And I still think Thumbyhead is hilariously stupid. Uniball is just….omg….insufferable. He’s only more tolerable than Blowsie cause he doesnt have his own patented horse laugh. JMo your kitties are so cute cant stand it! I will so miss reading these recaps. Gail saying she couldnt find the patte was hilarious! Woohoo for Hells Kitchen, love it when Gordon calls chefs donkeys and donuts!

22. 22
    JimbobJones
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 10:36 pm

    @Alice — I think this one is worse since, even though last season had more bullying, this one seemed to have a combination of underhanded douchebags and damn near a complete lack of talent.

    I like Kristen, but in a better season, I just don’t see her getting past the top 4 or so. And the rest of them would be shed halfway through the season.

    Add that with the plain douche-hattery of 2/3rds of the contestants, the crap with the returning losers, and this season just plain sucked. My least favorite ever.

23. 23
    AliceinPopLand
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 1:09 am

    @Jim Bob Jones, you won me over. Seattle, worst season evah! oh and Fuck StacheBear!

24. 24
    PottyMouth
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 4:10 am

    J-Mo,

    If it wasn’t for your always fabulous recaps I would have stopped watching this season VERY early on! THANK YOU for never failing to make us all laugh our asses off!!!

    Hated this format for the finale; too true about telegraphing the winner. And the fact that I had to suffer through ANY amount of time with Ilan again is making me wonder if I can sue the magical elves for pain and suffering.

    It may be a good thing that there’s no finale. I’m sure they’d gloss right over all the shit that people need to reckon for and we’d all end up being even more pissed off than they already made us the fist time. Unless a full ten minutes was spent on people telling Blowsie just how much she sucks. I’d totally watch that.

    Anyway, thanks for a fantastic season of recaps; I don’t think I could ever watch a season of Top Chef without you. Can’t wait for the next season when you return to us all (are you doing another show in between??)!! Love ya!

    SWAK, PottyMouth

25. 25
    PottyMouth
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 4:10 am

    I meant to say it may be a good thing there’s no reunion. OBVIOUSLY there was a finale!! D’oh!!

26. 26
    JimbobJones
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    @Pottymouth — Besides, what if they did the “Mediocre Chef” gag they did last season? They’d have to replay the entire season, and slow-motion through all of the Blowsie stuff. The reunion would take 35 hours!

27. 27
    PottyMouth
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    LMAO! So true!

28. 28
    Detinha
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 7:36 pm

    @JimBob, Thanks! I’ll look for the book! I really enjoy seeing Pepin cooking! And those old shows with him and Julia Child were great! I once saw they making omelettes and it was so easy and fun!

    I like Anthony Bourdain too! I really liked when he was a judge on TC! I think he’s better than Unibrow!

29. 29
    brzysmom12
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 12:32 am

    J-Mo, I am so going to miss your recaps and the laughter and happiness that goes along with them! Enjoy your time off so you can recharge for next season. I have to admit that with your last picture of Chica and Chunky, I’m playing “Spot the Differences” between the two since they look so much alike! Too adorable! Thank you for sharing your witty and hilarious recaps with all your crazy amazing words that should be in the dictionary or at least Wikipedia. Your snarky summaries will be missed by many!

30. 30
    Willintherace
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    J-Mo, I abandoned TVGasm years ago for other reality sites. You have single-handedly brought me back into the fold. Well done, my friend, well done.

31. 31
    LAC
    Posted March 7, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    J-Mo! Love your recaps and your kitty porn. They are so pretty! I will miss it!

    I liked the last two chefs and would have been glad to see either Brooke or Kristen win. I hated the format and I hated the Top Chef winners table (sponsored by Massengil, no doubt) especially since Stephanie was being hidden from view and I got to see too much of Josea, Ilian, and Moobs on my screen.

    This is not my favorite season, but it will never be as awful as season 7 with moobs winning. Those last few moments were like watching the last five minutes of Downtown abbey season finale.

32. 32
    roger
    Posted March 7, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    love me some popeyes’. thanks much, j-mo. “the apprentice” is a very good read; jacques rocks.