Top Chef Masters Season 4, Ep 1 No Way Buffet

Top Chef

By MisRed | Saturday, August 4, 2012 | 9:28 am | 24 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Top Chef

The Quick Fire Challenge is a Black Jack Game. But instead of numbers on the cards, the cards have ingredients. The Chefs need to team up in twos and they must cook one dish together. So each team gets two random ingredients. They will have 15 minutes for the challenge and they will be cooking for three World-Class card dealers. The chefs groan, but Curtis says “Everyday people can make or break your restaurant.”


Win, Lose or Bologna

The teams and their ingredients are:
Clark and Debbie- Langoustine and Quinoa
Sue and Missy- Brandy and Honeycomb
Thierry and Mark- Black Garlic and Flank Steak
Art and Lorena- Peaches and Duck Breast
Chris and Patricia- Ribeye and Catfish
Takashi and Kerry- Pork Tenderloin and Bologna (this is the clunker).

 Takashi says, in his Japanese accent “I don’t eat the bolognies…” he’s so cute.

By the way, 15 minutes for the challenge and they are given whole proteins to break down. So you have 15 minutes to cook and plate and they have to fillet a fish. I could fillet the fish in 15 minutes… but probably little else.


Random Chick 1, Random Chick 2 and Random Dude… but look at Curtis’s sweet donkey booty

The Chefs get the following feedback:
Clark and Debbie- Langoustine with parsley pistou and candied Quinoa- it reminds the judges of Wheatgrass. Which is NOT meant to be taken as a compliment.


Yummm.  I could lick the screen.

Sue and Missy- Grilled Pineapple with Brandy and Honeycomb. Judges say: Refreshing
Thierry and Mark- Flank Steak with Corn and Blueberry Salsa and Black Garlic Harissa- Judges say- The dish needed more kick (to which Theirry rolls his eyes).


I meant it to have no kick

Art and Lorena- Duck Breast Lettuce Wraps with Ricotta and Peach Crema. Judges say: Very Fresh, good flavors
Chris and Patricia- Beefalo DeGato Pescado (bone-in Ribeye and Catfish/ Surf & Turf). Judges say: GREAT
Takashi and Kerry- Pork Tenderloin and Bologna (this is the clunker). Judges say: Good Spice


Let’s hug it out

The Winner is: Chris and Patricia. They each get $5,000 for their charities. The Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research and Heifer International respectively.

For the Elimination Challenge, they will be celebrating the biggest tradition in town: The Buffet. And they will be serving 200 of the most unique and interesting people working on the strip. The Chefs will be divided into two teams, a Red Team and a Blue Team.
The Red Team: Art, Chris, Kerry, Lorena, Patricia and Takashi
The Blue Team: Missy, Clark, Debbie, Mark, Sue and Theirry.
The teams break out to come up with a concept and menu plan and Chris decides he wants to put his dish in a tiny, little pot because that way, he can control the portions. Art tells him, that is not what a buffet is about. People love BIG fabulous food!! (He’s right, by the way, try to go to a Cheesecake Factory- even the salad is enormous and there is always a wait… which I, personally, do not understand.)

 The teams go food shopping and Theirry takes all 22lbs of salmon…. Exactly what Takashi wanted to make.


I’m so sorry, I can’t possibly spare any of my 22lbs of salmon

Oh well, Takashi takes it in stride as he’s been friends with Theirry for 15 years and knows his horsesh*t. The Red Team is ready to check out, but they are missing one thing: Art.


Hmmm, should I put any vitamins in my buffet? (seriously, why is he even IN this aisle)

Art is strolling around, pissed off they are out of multiple things, including BRIOCHE. He says he cooks for billionaires, he has not budget, he just BUYS.

 The teams return to the kitchen with their grub and Curtis comes in. So you know there’s some crappy twist. He has some scratch-off lottery tickets!!! Theirry thinks it is “too scary to scratch.” Alas, each chef must scratch.


No 1,000,000 here…

Art and Debbie get “Immunity” and Art says “Honey Bear is here to stay!!!” (yippeee, I love Art!!)
Kerry, Lorena, Sue and Mark all get “Lose 30 Minutes” (they both have to sit out for 30 minutes of prep time)
Patricia, Chris, Theirry and Clark get “$1,000 BONUS” (to add to the $5,000 they each won in the QuickFire)


At least I didn’t get bologna, again

Takashi and Missy get “Switch Teams” so Takashi goes to the Blue Team and Missy goes to the Red Team.

Stone-Cold pulls out TWO GOLDEN BONUS TICKETS… ugh, more twists. Red Team scratches and gets “Mexican Buffet” and Blue Team gets “Indian Buffet.” This means whatever dish each Chef was making now much be tweaked to fit into either the Mexican or Indian model. Additionally, they may send one person back to the store to get additional supplies. The Red Team decides to send Art to the store (since he has immunity) and The Blue Team decides that they do not want to lose any time so they choose to not go back to the store.

During prep time, Patricia decides to make her dish into a Beef Adobo, but she reallllly needs Art to come back from the store. Cut to Art who is puttering around the store- I swear the “muzak” version of “Girl from Impanema” should be playing under Art’s shopping trip.


Oh, your baby is breath-taking

He’s looking for cilantro, kissing babies, talking to himself, etc.


And Missy is heading toward the IceBerg at top speed

Back in the kitchen we see Missy furiously slicing zucchini on a mandolin (not the musical instrument) slicer. She looks away for a second and then cuts the BEJESUS out of her pinkie.


Oh dear, I seem to have cut myself


MEDIC!!!!

TO THOSE OF YOU AT HOME: this is my personal warning- if you are chopping something or using a mandolin, always, always, always keep your eyes on what you are slicing or chopping. I have seen so many people get cut that way.  And when using a mandolin, use a folded-up towel to hold whatever you are slicing.  Better to slice the towel than your hand.

Anyway, in true Chef-fashion, she says “I just need a band-aid and a glove and I’ll be fine.” The paramedic comes in and tells her that a bandage and a glove are not going to cut it and she needs to go to the hospital.
Missy says “Cutting myself on Day 1 = Big Fail.”

Back in the kitchen, Thierry is making beef. For an Indian Buffet. “Serving Beef at an Indian Buffet is like serving Vodka at an AA meeting.” But he soldiers on.

Art and Patricia try to make Missy’s dish for her, not knowing when she might be back. Art takes scallions from Chris and he yells at him that he needs them. Art says “I want to give Missy our best.”
Chris replies “What am I supposed to do- sacrifice my own life?”
Art responds “Yes, sometimes we do that.” And he is right. When someone needs help and you can help, the right thing to do is to help them- it’s called being a TEAM.
Chris finally relents and Art takes his scallions for Missy’s dish.


I french-kiss you for MISSY

Prep time is over!!
We visit Missy in the hospital, she needs a skin graft and her hand needs to be immobilized for two weeks. Um… something tells me she’s not making this buffet. She really wants to compete but needs to figure out what is best for her.

The Chefs stat to set up their respective buffets. And… then the freaks start coming in, in droves. Ok, there are some beautiful showgirl types, but the rest of the crowd is straight-up freakage. Masked mimes, sword swalloers, etc. (Wait- who am I to judge? Most of them are probably doing what they love. The freaks are the ones who aren’t, right?)


Eating a buffet in a bikini seems counterproductive

Pages: 1 2 3 4
MisRed
About

Misred is an East Coast Gal and a jack of all trades.  Project Manager, Trained Chef, Amateur Writer, Professional Mocker, Devoted Wife and Mother of Furry Kids (dogs, not werewolves).  I spend my time doing all of the above, as well as making the necessary preparations for my eventual and eternal damnation in the fiery pits of hell.  I take comfort in knowing I'll have friends there... like Satan.

Check out my blog www.meabritapitandanitwit.wordpress.com

24 Comments

  1. 1
    Val Detinha
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 10:23 am

    YAY! Love this show! Loved the recap and loved the Seinfeld’s reference! Breathtaking all around! ;) Thanks, red!

  2. 2
    No raisin
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 11:18 am

    Lorena Garcia works at Taco Bell

  3. 3
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 11:34 am

    Lorena Garcia was on that sham of a show on NBC, America’s Next Great Restaurant, which awarded the winner his very own restaurant in three locations across the country only to shut them all down within a month after they opened. She was on it with Curtis Stone, Bobby Flay, and Steve Ells of Chipotle Grill. Now, she’s on Taco Bell commercials hawking a direct ripoff of Chipotle’s Burrito Bowls. It’s a small world.

  4. 4
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 11:35 am

    I should have mentioned that she was a judge/”investor” along with Stone, Flay, and Ells.

  5. 5
    Leto
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Yay! Thanks for the great recap. I was really happy to see Art returning, and Thierry too, that’s a french guy I’m proud to see, unlike Ludovic Lefebvre or Eric Ripert who make me ashamed of my country. Go guys!

  6. 6
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    I wish I could share your enthusiasm for Art. I generally want to nut punch him as soon as I see his face. He comes off as so passive aggressive. There’s always a teeth-baring/smile so he can control the situation, like the way he tried to control Chris then demeans him by saying he’s a “young’un.” Dick.

    But Leto, what’s wrong with Ripert? I’ve never heard anything bad about him.

  7. 7
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    I’m surprised too, Leto, to see Lefebvre and Eric Ripert mentioned together as targets of disdain. Ripert conducts himself very well on camera, from what I have seen of him. Lefebvre is just a douche.

  8. 8
    Leto
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    @Vallegirl : He really appears to be full of himself, makes no effort whatsoever to speak english correctly… That said, I only know him from Top Chef, but the way I see it he represents all I hate in the French abroad, he has that attitude that says “I’m better than you”, and I hate that. Maybe that’s just me, but everytime I see him I can’t help but pray that Americans don’t judge the French based on that guy ^^.

  9. 9
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    It’s funny how we all see things differently, Leto. I think the heavy accent is part of his charm as a French chef working in the United States. I have never thought that he was rude or condescending to contestants on Top Chef, unlike Tom and Padma who both piss me off on a regular basis.

  10. 10
    Leto
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Yeah you’re probably right. The heavy accent doesn’t bother me at all with Florian Belanger, for example (the guy from Cupcake Wars).
    I think it was that episode of Top Chef when a girl dared say she didn’t like one of his dish, and was eliminated. I didn’t especially like that girl but the timing was a little too convenient for me. Dunno. Sometimes people just get under your skin for no apparent reason I guess.

    But I have to agree, I went a little too far putting him on the same level as Lefebvre ^^.

  11. 11
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    @Vallegirl, as far as nut-punching Art, you can punch the left one and I will punch the right one. He’s everything in a older gay man that I hate; he’s lecherous, and now that’s he lost all this weight and can see his dick again, he seems to want to hit on every somewhat attractive guy that dares to be in his line of sight. He’s the epitome of what every younger gay man refuses to become as they age.

  12. 12
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    @Derek Hazelton – you got all of that out of watching Art on Top Chef? Because I missed those scenes I think. Of course that’s not my scene so the subtleties may have gone completely over my head. There are circumstances and types of people that are my bailiwick that I can see right through but have others totally fooled also so I won’t rule that out. But from where I’m sitting I don’t find Art objectionable. The woman who did get sent home tonight irritated the crap outta me so I guess I’m happy with the results of this elimination challenge.

    And I honestly think that it would be unfair to eliminate someone based on a wedding cake they had to pull out of their ass in a short period of time with no warning. Unless they made it out of gum drops or poisoned it or it was raw or something, I think they should simply get a disappointed lecture and a slap on the wrist. The challenge itself of making a wedding cake under those circumstances is almost guaranteed to result in failure and the judges know that going in. It’s kind of sadistic. Now, if they chef was given complete leeway in what kind of wedding cake to make but they never are, they are supposed to please the demands of the wedding couple who always wants lot of layers etc. A simple oldfashioned cake is never in the cards in these challenges. So I always give the wedding cake chump a pass in these things. But charred lettuce girl needed to go home immediately.

  13. 13
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    @Leto – Ripert’s video recaps were actually quite charming. I think he’s just a much more reserved type than the other judges and everyone around him on TC act like he’s the second coming of Escoffier so their behavior toward him can make him seem full of himself. But the idea of a preening, arrogant Buddhist is kind of funy.

    If anyone was full of him/herself in the Jamie/Ripert showdown it was she. She was tasked with recreating a dish from a restaurant. Regardless of her personal opinion of the dish. Put your personal ego aside and do the task. She just sniffed her nose at how old fashioned or dated she found the dish and, as we’ve seen in her subsequent appearances, half-assed it to her own detriment.

  14. 14
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    @Derek (should not press post before I’m finished) are you sure you want to get that close to Art’s nuts? The thing that gets me about him, is he just assumes a certain amount of deference from the others and if he doesn’t receive it, he “chuckles” and “smiles” and makes a bitchy comment then “laughs.” And none of it seems to reach his eyes. He always seems so keenly aware of everyone and everything around him and he just seems cunning and manipulative.

    Like the issue with the scallions. I saw it differently than you, MisRed. It didn’t surprise me at all that Art was picking at and belittling Chris since he’d just won the quickfire. So when Art had immunity he made Missy’s dish and, oh look, he needed something Chris had at his station. Rather than ask to take it or split the scallions with Chris, he just took the bowl then tried to guilt Chris into doing without. Art created an issue that didn’t need to exist and then, when Chris lets him have what he no longer needed, Art smarmily comes over and kisses him on the head. He’s awful.

  15. 15
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    Dammit. The Lettuce Lady comment belonged in the second recap. They are so close together that I mixed them up. Sorry ’bout that.

  16. 16
    awfuleyebrow
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    Okay, I guess I am easily influenced by my peers, but I am starting to feel really skeeved out at the thought of “dirty old man Chef Art.”

    I have to disagree about Ripert though. By the accounts that I have heard, he is an excellent guy to work for and is really quite shy. I am a little smitten really.

  17. 17
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    I think James Oseland looks more like a bird or turtle.

    I don’t understand why they sent Art back to the store, they had just complained about how slow he was. Why didn’t they send one of the 30 minute people? Was there some rule that said they couldn’t?

    Was it really necessary to keep showing the blood dripping from Missy’s finger?

    The guys in the masks were The Jabbawockeez, season 1 winners of America Best Dance Crew.

  18. 18
    Wasabipeas wasabipeas
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    Sorry everyone, but there will never be anyone like Hubert Keller for me!

  19. 19
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    @andyourlittledogtoo, I remember the scene where Art was leering at all of the waiters and he just seemed, to me, to be that old guy at the bar that is overly friendly and buying drinks for guys that clearly have no interest in him. And, coupled with his weight loss and what I perceive to be increased confidence, he just seems to be more insufferable and aggressive than he would normally be. I get that he’s a favorite of the TC community and will more than likely be around as a shit-starter, but there’s something about him that just grates on my nerves.

  20. 20
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    @Derek Hazelton – I never noticed that about him but I shall be paying closer attention now. :)

  21. 21
    Leto
    Posted August 5, 2012 at 1:43 am

    @vallegirl : You know what, I think you are completely right. The other judges on Top Chef act like he is god or something, I think that’s exactly what got under my skin. And I even rewatched the episode with Jamie (thanks for the name), and it was actually Tom and Padma who couldn’t get over the fact that she didn’t like the dish.
    I will try to find the video recaps of Ripert, maybe seing him without the TC judges will make me see him as he is ^^. Thanks ;)

    And for Art, I can see the passive/agressive behavior, but not the “old pervert” thing. I mean he’s like any other guy confronted with almost naked people. Chris couldn’t get over the bikinis, he made remarks about that, and that doesn’t seem to bother anyone. The fact that Art’s gay and turn his remarks and looks towards men doesn’t seem to me more perv than Chris.

  22. 22
    Pink Lemonade
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    I can’t stand Lorena Garcia. I first saw her on America’s Next Great Restaurant and her voice annoyed the crap out of me. Her suggestions were awful. She reminded me of a braying donkey. The only person that was worse was Ernie Ells from Chipotle. He had the nerve to suggest that no one could pronounce Sudhir’s name for his restaurant which was Tiffin Box. The general public had no idea what a chipotle was, let alone how to pronounce it. I was so sorry to see Bobby Flay wrapped up in that mess and I think he was so very sorry as well.

    I used to love Tom Colicchio but he has become very angry and dismissive. Padma can pack her knives or other gold digging apparatus and get out.

    I still love Top Chef and Top Chef Masters and will continue to watch even though I’m quite jaded.

  23. 23
    SuzieC
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    Love the recap, but where, oh where, is J-Mo?

  24. 24
    Junie
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 5:33 am

    I thought these comments were amusing. I sense the same things about Art(the passive-aggressive way and the dirty old gay man thing) I am glad to see I am not alone. Isn’t he Oprah’s personal chef or something? I really like the Jampanese guy and I think I like the French chef and Chris. Not to hot on Lorena either-didn’t know a thing about her before. The judges on TCM really irk me-who is this Australian guy and James is SOOOO annoying. Never like Padma either. Thanks.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.