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Scar gives them 25 minutes to cook and turns them loose, and there is an immediate stampede for the aprons…
in which StacheBear bites it before he even gets close
LOLOLOL, someone’s a ClumsyBear, too! In any case, Stoner Sheldon tells us he really wanted to make a hot dish, but he was so confused by all the directions and words and the colors, by the time he got over to the aprons there were only blue ones left, so now he’s stuck making a cold dish. McBitchyson is also doing a cold dish, and is complaining that these oyster shells are super-brittle and chipping really easily. What a wahncy-pants.
Moley has a boner about being allowed to cook for La Gassy, and likens the feeling to what Moses must have felt when he met God…
if Moses was kind of a tatted-up tool and God was a hairy, chubby TV star
He’s making a crispy fried oyster that he really hopes will sing pop songs in La Gassy’s honor. Sir Barts-a-lot, on the other hand, is doing a more classic preparation of champagne oysters, which he says he makes at his restaurant all the time, which is usually code for “I’m about to fuck this into little pieces”.
Hater-Tots just said something about making some kind of “Cher garlic butter” and now I am completely intrigued by his dish…
if anything can make a pile of snot better, it’s Cher
Oh, but then Hater has to go and ruin things by saying he plans to make a “light foam” of parmesan cheese and garlic, because the last fucking thing I can think of wanting to eat is a pile of boogers covered in spit. Also unappetizing is hearing Blowsie using her rawker voice to describe her chorizo’n'oysters as being a Spaaanish Rockefeller. She’s been working on a pan full of sauce and somehow let it go too far past reduction…
and into the realm of wood glue
She is profusely sweating and slopping that shit all over the stove, and eventually admits that the sauce has broken. Even worse, she doesn’t have enough time to make another batch with less than five minutes left. Knowing that the sauce is fucked up ahead of time, does she throw it out and not serve it with her dish? Nope, she drizzles it over her oysters anyhow…
an’ I’m just gonna call it Oysters Suck-a-feller, yeeeahhh!