I suspect that StacheBear may be a talented cook, but lacks any self-awareness. I could see someone whose chosen profession is a boxer, or an oil-rig worker, or a race-car driver wanting to cultivate a “bad-ass image”, but a chef??!??!? What’s the point? I mean, other than coming off like a dick and making people hate you, maybe so much so that you wind up with a magazine dedicated to you….
sounds like someone’s gunning for your title, Hater-Tots!
Oh well, enough about him, let’s move on to the next day in the Stew Room, where Scar appears and asks to see Team HaterStache, Team WeirdBall and Team McBitchyThumb. She looks pissed-off, too…
you people forced me to apologize for you
The other judges don’t look happy, either. Daddy Tom starts off by wanting to know if the chefs found this challenge too difficult. StacheBear says he got “stymied” by the popcorn, and UniBall claims that they tried to think of what went best with a pickle. Daddy wants to know why they didn’t just actually make a dish with the pickle itself, and UniBall has no answer. Gail thinks the bigger problem was the fact that the dishes didn’t taste good, they weren’t well-made. To that end, she points out that while Team McBitchyThumb’s duck glaze was all right, the super-sweet cabbage overwhelmed everything. This was Stefan’s fault, and he immediately starts trying to make excuses that the rose petal jelly was just so sweet. Hughnibrow wants to know if he still thought the dish was too sweet before he served it. Stefan starts listing more things he tried to use to cut the sweetness, and Hughnibrow cuts him off, pointing out that even after all his efforts, it was still too sweet and he needed to fix it…
and stop being the Mayor of Excuses Village
They move on to Team HaterStache’s horrifying grits, and after Hughnibrow lets them know how much they sucked he wants to know why they cut the pork into medallions the way they did. StacheBear starts to stutter and say he doesn’t wanna throw anybody under the bus…
and proceeds to do just that
Stachey insists he would not have cut up the pork like that, but Hater-Tots mentioned it, and he did it, and then he brings up their not wanting to “create friction” thing, but Daddy Tom does not accept their complacency, and wonders why neither of them were fighting to make the dish better. Gail brings up the fact that the presentation was artless and there were no garnishes. Daddy Tom agrees, “It looked like someone who has to feed their family and really hates cooking.” Holy fuck, he just described my culinary aesthetic perfectly.
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