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We see she isn’t kidding as she badgers another chef into giving her their blender. She’s giving me a very strong Kate Jackson vibe, if Kate had never been a Charlie’s Angel, and instead became a bossy admin assistant. Who was also batshit fucknuts wacko. We will definitely be coming back to Ms. Keatley.
Hughnibrow heads over to bother a girl with waaaay too much hair by the name of Danyele McPherson, and she’s clearly intimidated by being so close to The Seagull, and kinda doesn’t wanna talk to him because she’s so busy. Doing what, I don’t know…
well, I’m going to hand-wash every single leaf of lettuce I’m using
She tells us about going to college and getting her degree in anthropology and history, which she could do nothing with (other than, you know, actually becoming an anthropologist or a historian) and eventually got some random kitchen jobs that helped her become sous-chef at the Grapelberry. Is it just me, or does anyone else ever get annoyed when people complain about having gotten a “useless” college degree? Like that just happened out of the blue, the same way you get prizes from a gumball machine, and boom, you open the little plastic pod and find out that instead of the cool SpongeBob SquarePants sticker you really wanted, you got Hello Kitty. So graduation day comes and you get your diploma, and boom, you open the pleatherette folder and find out that you’re stuck with a degree in anthropology and history. It’s too bad you didn’t have more time, like four years or so, to figure out what you truly wanted to get a degree in. Way to blow thousands of dollars there, Putzy the Clown!
Ok, sorry, I need to take a deep breath, I’m just feeling College Edumacation Envy™ because both my brothers and my sister have Masters degrees, and I’m the last kid left out of the four of us who only has an AA degree, and it’s nobody’s fault but my own. I’m sure Danyele is a nice lady, so let’s get back to her. Oh, no, wait, Hughnibrow is asking that ferocious tiger Gina what her culinary background is. Her mouth says “I’m the founder of a community food program!”…
but her eyes say “fuck you, don’t question me!”
Um, I don’t wanna nitpick, but founding a food program doesn’t necessarily say “master chef” to me. Anyhow, Gina’s noticed that Danyele has tomatoes on the stovetop and is flame-grilling them in oil, and snots to us that it’s really “Culinary 101″ not to do that because it’s “dangerous” and “ruins the product”. She concludes that Danyele is “ridiculously amateurish”. I think she’s jealous of Danyele’s useless degree as well. In any case, time runs out, and Gina fully believes her dish is “more than good enough” to get her a chef coat. She’s gonna have to wait, because Stoner Sheldon is up first…
and it could take him several hours to describe this