Boy, it’s hard to believe this is the same guy I felt sorta sorry for when he served dried-out broccoli to some flight attendants and didn’t get to go to the Season 3 Finale. Now I kinda want that to happen all over again. In fact, Uniball thinks his dish is so amazing, he says if the judges don’t like it then screw them, they don’t know what’s good. Besides, food poisoning is fun, you get to build up your abdominals and work your sphincter muscles. Plus, you lose a lot of weight.
There’s a droning buzz in my ear that’s making me sleepy, and that’s when I realize Tyler Weird is talking. I guess he’s just been in a big ole funky-funk since he was on the losing team at Thanksgiving, mostly because he managed to mess up a gumbo that Emeril La Gassy had initially perfected, so he’s wanting to “think outside the box” (which has become an “in the box” expression if there ever was one) and make something more interesting than the standard Applebee’s fare. He’s whining to Brooke McBitchyson about how he’s nervous because he’s “in the bottom” and she has to remind him that the Judges haven’t tasted his food yet today…
and then he’ll be in the bottom
God, get a grip, Eeyore! At least Mouthy Carla is entertaining and she has the added bonus of being able to push Stefan’s buttons (Hater-Tots should take notes from her if he really wants to become an Equal Opportunity Irritant™).
Oh dear, Lizzie Borden’s trying to use a pressure-cooker to braise her foreshank, which she only had a “queeck dimmo” on before she joined the show. Naturally this means that it isn’t working the way she wants it to, so I’m guessing she’s about to serve some Shoe-Leather Surprise™. Also having tenderness problems is Moley Micah, who chose to put his ox-tail dish up against Hater-Tots’. Moley’s convinced that Hater is “stuck in his ways” and feels like his brash young buck approach is going to snag him the immunity. I think a stray kitchen hook is going to snag one of his giant-holed earlobes.
Scar and PomPom return, time runs out, and they start off with Eleyeza…
who gives them her best welcoming glare
and hunks of drunk meat
PomPom thinks the other chefs are prolly jealous that Eleyeza scored the flank steak. Scar says the taste of asparagus mixed with cherries is “interesting”. This comment just earns her an even bigger glare, which sends them skittering over to Hater-Tots and his braised ox-butt…
that apparently didn’t want to hold still for a picture
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