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Naturally McBitchyson is embarrassed beyond belief, especially since Depressed Jewish Guy and Hippie Galifianakis are sooooo famously amazing now, she’s absolutely mortified that this has come to light…
Finally she is allowed to scurry away with the others, and the Judges drink some more and begin to eat. Scar immediately wants to know what they think of McBitchy’s dukkah chicken. Hammered Wolfie wandz to know, why ze fock zey doan haff no bonez, and he begins tossing pieces of the chicken breast around. Then he demands to know what the name of this show is, and Scar reminds him he’s on Top Chef. He holds up two halves of McBitchy’s offensive breasts and yells that he wooden evayn coll id ze APPWENTIZZ…
even though he almost has the hairstyle for it
That wasn’t funny in the slightest, but these drunken fools would probably laugh at Helen Keller jokes at this point. Watch this: Hey, why does Helen Keller only use one hand to masturbate? Because she uses the other hand to moan! (uproarious and life-threateningly hysterical laughter from the table of completely soused professional chefs) See what I mean?
In any case, Daddy Tom finally pulls himself together enough to say it’s really unfortunate that McBitchyson did this to her chicken, it’s totally dried out. Bernie doesn’t understand why she didn’t just make some good fried chicken, instead of presenting an overcooked breast. Hippie Galifianakis takes the opportunity to be even more vicious, saying he’s glad he didn’t take the job (that he wasn’t offered). Daveybee giggles…
KIDDING, I only wish he had. They move on to StacheBear’s chicken. Bernie thinks it’s wonderful, she loves the combo of smoky flavor with the bleu cheese. Daddy Tom says he’s never had smoked fried chicken before, but he thinks it’s a great idea, and even if it really wasn’t that crispy, it had the most flavor of all the chicken on the table. Back with the chefs, Stachey’s still bragging about his brilliant brown paper bag usage. UGH.
As for Thumby’s chicken cordon-bleu, La Gassy joins the Terrible Joke Circle™ by proclaiming he has “the bleus” right now. Hippie Galifianakis asks wasn’t Stefan already on Top Chef? That was the funniest thing I heard from the entire table all night. Hippie goes on to marvel that a chef could get a second chance to be on this show and decide to make a cordon-bleu, it doesn’t make sense, Thumby should have tried harder. Depressed Jewish Guy says he’s actually embarrassed by what the L.A. chefs (McBitchyson and ThumbyHead) have put forth, and Wolfie agreez, zey made sings way too compligaded when zey diden need to bee. And with that, they’re losing the light and must adjourn, but not before having another toast…
yay, we’re all awesome