*please be aware that my methods of ranking are in no way scientific or unbiased
Except we’re not done, because like any horrifying creature, you can’t really relax until you are sure they have been staked, bagged and tagged. So now we head over to…
I read in an article somewhere that Blowsie did not want to even film this segment, she just wanted to concede to Top Model immediately and get booted, which seems odd if she truly felt that her non-elimination from Restaurant Wars was valid and not the result of her being a lying, scheming sack of toothy shitballs. My guess is that it was in the contract, so there she is, claiming that she’s “not done yet”…
oh, yes you are
She knows that Top Model is pissed, and when Daddy asks her if she’s surprised to see Blowsie, Model pauses a moment and finally says “Yes and no.” She tells us she’s been gearing up to compete against Blowsie since then.
Daddy Tom tells Blowsie her consistency and time-management issues are what caused so many of her problems during the season (he doesn’t mention her everfucking mouth, which was responsible for the rest), so for their challenge, they have to get in a Cloyota, go to the market, buy a big salmon and bring it back. Then they go get in the car, and I have to say I applaud Top Model’s ability to restrain herself from just crashing into a big tree on the way there (in order to test the Cloyota’s seat-belts and airbags, natch!).
When they get back, Daddy tells them they have to break down the salmon and portion 10 identical pieces, then create 10 composed dishes out of them. When their 30 minutes starts, Daddy is not impressed with either of their fish-butchering skills. Once they start cooking, UniBall starts calling out what sounds like sarcastic support of Blowsie, which proves he is pretty much still Top Asshole amongst The Eliminated…
and I think he farted at Grudge Girl to boot
When he tries to ask Blowsie what she’s making, she just replies “Salmon.” and he stops trying. Hater-Tots is hoping Top Model is gonna beat the oversized panties off of her. They both are cooking away, and Blowsie thinks she might have a chance… until she realizes she is missing one of her ten pieces of salmon. Where could it be? Oh, look! It’s on the floor…
she had just better not try to invoke the Five-Second Rule
There are only 30 seconds left, but somehow she manages to break down another portion and cook it and toss it on her 10th plate before time is called. Daddy starts with Top Model…
I would eat all ten portions of this if it sent Blowsie home for good
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