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Happy Post-Apocalypse, everybody! I’m really jazzed that the world didn’t end today, because not only did I get to have pie for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but the Secret Santa who drew my name at work gave me a giant caramel-filled chocolate bar and a stack of blank DVDs (the card that came with them said I should only use them to make porn compilations, which made me a little uncomfortable since my Secret Santa was a 57-year-old grandmother of twelve). Anyhow, the fact that it just flipped over into December 22nd, 2012 means that we will not be left hanging as to how this season of Top Chef Seattle is going to turn out, which is a huge relief for everyone, and by that I mean you guys are probably just like me…
dying to watch one of these people win $125,000.00
I thought Top Chef Season Seven (that Sucked) had a high asshole quotient, but I think Seattle is starting to really give them a run for the title. Right now, the only people I’m finding the least bit likable are: Sir Barts-a-lot, Lizzie Borden, Stoner Sheldon and Top Model Kristen… and she has questionable taste in men who resemble appendages. I really hope it doesn’t come down to a Finale where we don’t give a fuck who wins as long as THEY STOP TALKING FOREVAAAAAAH.
So last week was a learning experience for everyone involved…
this guy learned why you shouldn’t always order wild boar if it’s on the menu
then Eleyeza learned that thanking the Judges for hating your food does not keep you from getting sent home
and Daddy Tom learned that he spoke prematurely about the amazing talent of this cast
We open on the Stew Room, where Lizzie Borden and StacheBear are talking about the dearly departed Eleyeza, and how much they will miss her…
that chick had freaky fuckin’ eyes, tho, won’t miss that
Meanwhile Rapunzel is explaining to the others that her critique from the judges was mainly “You seem so nervous.” and she appears to be mightily puzzled over how they picked up on that, especially so soon after, you know, she told them she was nervous. It is a mystery how this girl is still in this competition…
perhaps she has magical powers