TV Social
Recent Comments
- Clair: She looks like a pissed-off 12-year-old boy.
- plockness monster: Vase. Bong. Whatevs. At least it wasn’t a crack pipe.
- She Stinks!: I was disappointed Alicia didn’t get her ass whooped hard and long....
- KRB: WCS – You are correct, it does just look better AC – That is possible, but that still puts her at an...
- labowner: She doesn’t have her card? How is that possible?
- sweetblondie: LOL…yeah, I must’ve been in a mood that day.
Probably something my... - labowner: Square I do believe the make watches for kids with GPS for that very reason.
- Classy Drunk: @labowner that’s what I’m saying. Shannon was pulling people...
- AC: Great recap. My roomie pointed out that they may put Zendaya in sneakers because they don’t want her to be...
- kassel: I really enjoyed your recap and the screenshots! Loved how you captured...
-
Monday, December 24, 2012
10:41 am
16 Comments
Tagged: Bart Vandaele, bravo, Brooke Williamson, chef, Christmas Kitty Porn, CJ Jacobsen, competition, cooking, Danyele McPherson, fucking product placement, Gail Simmons, hideous hags, J-Mo, John Tesar, Josh Valentine, Josie blows, Josie Smith-Malave, Kristen Kish, Last Chance Kitchen, Lizzie Binder, Micah Fields, padma lakshmi, reality, reality tv, recap, recaps, seattle, Sheldon Simeon, show, snozzberries taste like snozzberries, Stefan Richter, Stephanie Izard, The Blowsie Show, Thumby vs Hater-Tots, Tinfoil is my Jesus, tom colicchio, top chef, Top Chef Seattle, totally unlikable cast, TV, tvgasm, watching adults fight like children
Naturally we can’t get away from there being a commercial in the middle of this crap, so Daddy Tom hands them the keys to a brand new Cloyota Mammary so they can take it for a spin to the market to do their 15 minutes of shopping, and then they will return and have 20 minutes to make their sammiches. After gushing about how much this is “the car of the future” they finally make it to the market where UniBall orders some prosciutto and ham… and Rapunzel orders sliced turkey and pepper-jack cheezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Wait, what? Is she making an ordinary turkey-bacon-avocado sammich like the ones she says she eats for lunch every day? Why yes, yes, she is….
silly bitch, you’ll be joining us soon
Yes, the fully eliminated chefs are aghast that Rapunzel is making such a simple-ass sammich as well, it’s like she doesn’t even understand that this is supposed to be a compefuckingtition and you’re supposed to do things that are beyond the normal and ordinary. It’s too bad this isn’t a Kraft Mac & Cheese-making competition, cuz I could make that exact recipe on the box with my eyes closed and only one hand. Anyhow, UniBall is on his way to another win, because he’s going to make a different fucking version of one of those Vietnamese banh mi sammiches. Mercifully, time eventually runs out and we can watch this farce come to a swift end…
not something you’ll find on your average Subway menu
I think Daddy Tom knows that she didn’t even try, either, because he’s already laughing as he approaches Rapunzel’s station to try her sammich…
the number four combo (with chips and a soft drink) at Paradise Bakery
Oh, he tries to make it look like it’s a close race by telling UniBall that he had too much bread and not enough stuff in the center, and rebuffs Rapunzel for having the opposite of too much meat and avocado which caused her bread to fall apart. This causes Rapunzel to label Daddy Tom as a “hater” and I am so ready for her to be done here…
not that seeing this is really much better
In the end, Rapunzel believes in her sammich so much that she takes the rest of it with her (I guess even the parts that have already been gnawed on by Daddy Tom?). And there we have it.
What did you guys think of this episode? Was Rapunzel the right choice to go home, or should it have been Hater-Tots or Blowsie? Did you think Hater-Tots was whining too much about the frozen tuna, or was he right to bring it up in front of Daddy Tom? Could Blowsie have been any more irritating in her little “performance”? And what the hell happened with Blowsie and ThumbyHead Stefan, anyhow? Can anybody explain that exchange to me? I’m so lost.
16 Comments
How is Blowsie still here? I’ve was expecting Daddy Tom to send her home as soon as he could for that turkey. And are her teeth to big for her to close her mouth. Her mouth is always open.
I didn’t catch Stefan’s wave or comment. All I saw was him trying to Hater and Blosie flipping him off. Only thing I got out of that fight, is that he finds Blowsie as grating as the rest of the world.
Lucky Chunky and Chica! I’m pretty sure all my cat is getting is coal. But she’s only 7 months old. So maybe Santa will give her a pass this year. Since it is her 1st Christmas.
“…but I’m gonna call bullshit and say she picked him because they’re both gingers and she wants to bang him…”
Wow, until I read that sentence, I wasn’t sure that “projectile vomiting” was a real thing. Thanks for clearing that up for me.
BTW, you owe me $200 for a new monitor.
I’ll have an interest in Last Chance Kitchen once UniBall is off. He has to have used up at least 8 of his lives thus far. Once Blowsie and Stachebear are sent packing, the next eliminated chef after that is when Last Chance gets very interesting.
Confused, as well, over the whole Stefan and Blowsie blow-up. Next week looks REALLY interesting when she goes totally apesh*t while the other contestants look on with open mouths.
Stefan is always such a flirt. He finds the cutest girl in the group and becomes her constant companion. Remember when he did that to Jamie/Turtle even though she’s gay?? I think that she even told him something along the lines of “You know I’m gay, right?”
If every dish was inexplicably served with a tongue depressor maybe we could solve our nations obesity problem. I feel so fat right now…
Who puts fucking sausage in gazpaucho. I mean really.
Ps your cats are freaking adorable in those hats
just wanted to say a big thank you for adding on the last chance kitchen crap. mildly interested but don’t want to add to the time invested in this show. I guess I’ll vote Kristen? but we’ll see. I want to like stachebear (Is that what you call him?) But he makes it hard.
Merry Christmas J-Mo! and all the gasmics!
J-Mo, your recaps are great! Thank you!
I’m still puzzled at that cake Top Model made. Is it really possible to make that cake in less than 30 min and to bake it in the foil?? Amazing or bs??
I liked Stephanie, but girlfriend is resembling a cavewoman with that hair! I was LMAO at your Yoda talk!
Oh and my least favorite would be Thumby!
J-Mo – your kitty christmas porn is adorable! Danke for that and the recap.
Lord, let there be a Houdini challenge that requires these asshats to pick out their fish while in a tank in a straitjacket. What?? There would be someone to pull them out if they panic…eventually…
Blowsie – you make me hate beavers, and chipmunks, and pianos (the white keys). Oh, and having to cheer CJ, if and when you get to the Last Chance Kitchen. You make me irrationally hate things!!! And based on the roller derby, more of her crackling and whooping and probably lame cooking. Hate!!!
Thumby – my husband hates him. In an obsenity strewn diatribe way that he unleashed last night. It was a nice moment between us.
This season is coming close to the fucktard nightmare that was forced on us during the DC season. Otherwise known as “NO FUCKING WAY!!” Top Chef.
Team Super Model – she’s tall and looks good without makeup, so I should hate her. But, hey she is talented and seems sweet.
Aw damn it’s good to be back and to find a J-Mo recap up, with all it’s glorious photos, captions, snark and hilarity.
I just got out of the hospital tonight (having been there since Monday – yes, Christmas Eve).
Double yay!
Amy, hope you are feeling better.
Aww, thanks, LAC. I was for awhile and now I’m crossing my fingers that it doesn’t come back (partial intestinal blockage treated with “gut rest” ie a clear liquid only diet. For three. Effing. Days. McRib
Yum mm.
I left the hospital and went straight for a
McRib! McRib! Why did it cut it off? Sigh.
Great recap, J-Mo!
Even Helen Keller could’ve told that there was a pineapple in that foil package Hater-Tots picked, not a “pot of herbs”! Asshole!
I can’t believe Bart put the foil on his head to make his bowl – kinda’ made me wonder if the judges would refuse to taste his food, but maybe they didn’t see that.
Moley and his raw-ass Lamb! What else can I say? Except that maybe he should have named his girls Anise and Artemisia. Or Bay Leaf and Basil?
Gail called it at the berry farm – Blowsie was trippin’ for sure. She must have tasted the crack instead of the crab when she was preparing things for her dish (I can’t really say “making” her dish, ‘cuz she didn’t do much of that). Blowsie should have gone home. I am SO tired of her.
I say Top Model for the win!!!!
Lots O’ Love
Bay Leaf and Basil
I don’t think Blowsie passed the “keep your hands to yourself” part of Kindergarten and that face noogie she pulled on poor Lizzie Borden, geeze. She can’t seem to keep her hands off the poor woman. She is beyond annoying.
Hater-Tots is a tattle-tale. He didn’t add the part about the tuna not being “sustainable” until way late in the game. He was like chicken-licken, “IT’S FROZEN TUNA!” Yeah, we heard you the first time, but I thought he was gonna win by his own stunning culinary skills not some douchey move like that. “Daddy Tom, he’s using frozen tuna!”
Had to be one of the funniest episodes ever, but your recap took it over the top. Fabulous job!