Taking on the role of asshat for Team GingerWhine, StacheBear is yelling and swearing about mushrooms, and tells us that people think he’s “just this little guy from Oklahoma… and that’ll be their mistake!”…
cuz I’m really a giant angry tool from Texas
He goes on to say that he’s cooked under some great chefs, and proceeds to list a few names that I’ve never heard of. To be fair, they could really be great chefs, but the lack of name-recognition only serves to underscore Stachey’s essential overcompensation for his FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY. I suspect he needs a handjob. I’m not volunteering, just saying.
Team Greenhorn is up first, and their salmon is featured prominently, like a big cooked hunk of horse’s hoof…
served with a sprinkling of poison oak
Bringing up the rear is Team GingerWhine and their mystery fish…
served like a complete mess
The Judges begin with mystery fish, and Daddy Tom actually says it’s cooked nicely, Tom D believes they achieved perfect translucency in the center, but there just isn’t enough of the pistou on the plate. La Gassy likes the pickled apple, which Daddy Tom calls the best part of the dish, and believes they needed much more of it to offset all the raw garlic.
As for the Greenhorns’ dish, Daddy Tom says it’s essentially the same as the dish put forth by Team Girl Power, the salmon is perfectly cooked, and he likes the spot prawns being poached in butter… but Gail thinks the texture of them got a little lost. Tom D likes the sauce on this salmon better than Girl Powers’ and thinks the mouth feel of it is nice and firm…
yes, please think about this guy enjoying a nice firm mouth feel. you’re welcome.
KIDDING, Tom D doesn’t seem pervy like that, he’s actually been one of the nicer judges to ever be a part of this show. I’m sure we’ll have a plenty parade of assholes before we’re finished up in Cloud Town.
Back in the brand new Stew Room, Josie’s asking the gathered group which of them thinks they won the competition today. Chrissy from Girl Power goes for the butt-snuggle and says she thinks Team Vets have the prior experience, so they should have cooked the winning dish. Stefan disagrees and thinks it’s a detriment to have been on TC before because they are already expecting the worst, whereas when they don’t know what to expect, they just cook. That’s kind of a big bag of bullshit, because anybody who has ever seen the show would already know to expect crazy shit to happen, I think Stefan is just trying to save face because Josie’s being an embarrassing bigmouth.
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