Tough Love N.O.: It’s Southern Ho . . . Down!

Steve decides that since the girls have shown how classless they can be, it would be a good idea to teach them some proper Southern charm. He is going to give the girls lessons in etiquette. He introduces an expert in the field and leaves the girls in her hands. Elizabeth says she doesn’t need this training, since she’s used to fine dining and well behaved ancient geezers, but that the rest of the girls are in desperate need of instruction.

I’m blown away at how tiny Shalana is!

The girls learn all about how to use the utensils for a five course meal. I’ve learned something myself, as our matronly expert shows us how to eat soup by spooning it away from yourself. Seems counterproductive to me, but me eating technique typically involves a shovel.

They also learn the art of descending a grand staircase
while pretending to be sober.

Roz opens the floor to a question and answer session. The girls seem to be asking her far more personal stuff than they ask Steve: I wonder if they are better served talking with a woman for some aspects of their behavior.

How long should you wait in a relationship before
you have public displays of affection?

Not to worry, my dear. You’ll have smelled the towels
and bolted long before that.

Should the woman kiss the man first or the man kiss the woman?

Considering you have a child, your thought process seems
to be a little backwards, dear.

Do you think it is frowned upon to have sex on the first date?

Oh my goodness, yes! What are you, a demon hussy?

Maybe. But so what? You’re like seventy and I bet your
hooch hasn’t had a smooch in years.

After Mistress Roz finishes with the girls, Steve returns to tell them that they will be participating in a cotillion that evening at the mansion. He’s arranged for special cotillion formal wear for each of them, which are waiting upstairs. How fun!!!

But then he tells Stephanie that her gown is waiting at a salon nearby because she is getting a much needed makeover.

For fuck’s sake, I’ve already toned it down.
What’s he want me to look like – Annie Liebovitz?

 The girls all race upstairs to see their formal wear confections but Despina is reluctant. She really hopes the dresses won’t be white, because she hates that color. She says this to us in confessional as she wears a white lace top.

But this is slut white, Luscious. Not wedding white.

Apparently ever since she was a child, she has hated the color white and finds it completely unattractive. She also says she hates weddings. Something very traumatic happened to this girl and she hasn’t allowed herself to ever hope for things like true love and marriage. Whatever could it be?

Elizabeth says wearing the dress, the jewels and the gloves made her feel like a fairy tale princess.

She practices the Chicken Dance, just in case they play that at cotillions.

Stephanie is at the salon waiting to get her makeover. Steve has told the designers that he would like to tone down the brightness and restore Stephanie to a more natural look.

Surprisingly, Stephanie hates all things natural.

 Stephanie actually admits that she likes to look fake!  Meanwhile, back at the ranch:

Melissa is practicing in case cotillion actually means talent show.