Next up, Donna’s ex Michael arrives. I wonder if he’s the bastard who broke her heart and never married her, despite asking her mom for permission to propose. She seems thrilled to see him, so maybe not.
I guess we’ll know if he falls to his knees in pain an hour or so.
Since Melissa has never had an ex, one of her old crushes, Jeff, is invited to attend the party. Melissa tells us that this guy is EXACTLY her type.
Ah, finally I understand; Melissa’s type is anyone out of her league.
Omar is the next winner to saunter down the streets of the Big Easy as if he’s owed a thing or two.
You gotta be kidding me, Shalana!
Their break up is recent and Shalana can’t believe he is here. I can’t believe she ever let this skinny ho bag of ‘tude touch her. As they sit down, Shalana tells Omar it is awkward that he’s here. Melissa chimes in that she’s the only one allowed to be awkward, so she screws up the situation by telling Omar that Shalana is seeing a very nice man.
Is that a bald spot, Melissa?
Shalana already knows Omar is about to make trouble.
As the loser spits to display his disdain,
Melissa realizes she has just made a big mistake.
Omar turns to Shalana and laughs as he asks her if the name Aubrey is for real.
Excuse me tent maker, but who the hell are you
to laugh at the name of someone else?
He tells Shalana she’s being stupid and gets her upset.
Although if she dated this dick, I’m gonna have to agree -
she isn’t the brightest bulb in the closet.
Too upset to deal with the situation, Shalana abandons Omar to try to gain control over her emotions.
Which of these other stupid bitches can I bang?
The next ex to arrive is Paul. Now when Elizabeth said she expected long stemmed roses from a man, I thought I knew what she was talking about.
But this is just ridiculous.
Seriously, those roses don’t say love. They say “I’m a rich douche bag who has to compensate for my inadequate penis with long stuff like 8′ tall roses and stretch limos.”
No wonder the girl has never had an orgasm. He’s not even hot.
Plus I’m pretty sure he farted right before he set the roses down. Seriously, go to VH1.com and check out the episode. At 10:20, Paul shows his age and tries to keep his anus from prolapsing. I’m telling you.
Smarmy face tells Elizabeth he thought she might like the roses to brighten up her room and remind her of happier times. I bet he said the same thing while she was in jail. He so clearly looks like a creep, I can’t believe Liz actually fell for him. He’s one of those shitheads who prey on messed up girls ’cause he’s too ugly to land them the conventional way, even with money. Seriously, Elizabeth. Men will do anything to get inside your hot body. Giving you jewels and flowers doesn’t mean this scum bucket cared for you.
What he gets off on has nothing to do with love.
Steve says he’s shocked that all Paul had to do was saunter in with retarded long stem roses and suddenly Liz is back at square one and re-living the emotions of this relationship again. I’m glad he’s worried.
Maybe he’ll sweat off some of the fake tan on his forehead.