Tough Love N.O. Recap: Return of the Creeps

Tough Love

By Luscious | Wednesday, June 13, 2012 | 5:00 pm | 8 Comments
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Posted in: Featured, Recaps, Tough Love

Next up, Donna’s ex Michael arrives. I wonder if he’s the bastard who broke her heart and never married her, despite asking her mom for permission to propose. She seems thrilled to see him, so maybe not.

I guess we’ll know if he falls to his knees in pain an hour or so.

Since Melissa has never had an ex, one of her old crushes, Jeff, is invited to attend the party. Melissa tells us that this guy is EXACTLY her type.

Ah, finally I understand; Melissa’s type is anyone out of her league.

Omar is the next winner to saunter down the streets of the Big Easy as if he’s owed a thing or two.

You gotta be kidding me, Shalana!

Their break up is recent and Shalana can’t believe he is here. I can’t believe she ever let this skinny ho bag of ‘tude touch her. As they sit down, Shalana tells Omar it is awkward that he’s here. Melissa chimes in that she’s the only one allowed to be awkward, so she screws up the situation by telling Omar that Shalana is seeing a very nice man.

Is that a bald spot, Melissa?

Shalana already knows Omar is about to make trouble.

As the loser spits to display his disdain,

Melissa realizes she has just made a big mistake.

 Omar turns to Shalana and laughs as he asks her if the name Aubrey is for real.

Excuse me tent maker, but who the hell are you
to laugh at the name of someone else?

He tells Shalana she’s being stupid and gets her upset.

Although if she dated this dick, I’m gonna have to agree -
she isn’t the brightest bulb in the closet.

Too upset to deal with the situation, Shalana abandons Omar to try to gain control over her emotions.

Which of these other stupid bitches can I bang?

The next ex to arrive is Paul. Now when Elizabeth said she expected long stemmed roses from a man, I thought I knew what she was talking about.

But this is just ridiculous.

Seriously, those roses don’t say love. They say “I’m a rich douche bag who has to compensate for my inadequate penis with long stuff like 8′ tall roses and stretch limos.”

No wonder the girl has never had an orgasm. He’s not even hot.

Plus I’m pretty sure he farted right before he set the roses down. Seriously, go to VH1.com and check out the episode. At 10:20, Paul shows his age and tries to keep his anus from prolapsing. I’m telling you.

Smarmy face tells Elizabeth he thought she might like the roses to brighten up her room and remind her of happier times. I bet he said the same thing while she was in jail. He so clearly looks like a creep, I can’t believe Liz actually fell for him. He’s one of those shitheads who prey on messed up girls ’cause he’s too ugly to land them the conventional way, even with money. Seriously, Elizabeth. Men will do anything to get inside your hot body.  Giving you jewels and flowers doesn’t mean this scum bucket cared for you.

What he gets off on has nothing to do with love.

 Steve says he’s shocked that all Paul had to do was saunter in with retarded long stem roses and suddenly Liz is back at square one and re-living the emotions of this relationship again. I’m glad he’s worried.

Maybe he’ll sweat off some of the fake tan on his forehead.

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Luscious
About

Luscious just got back from a one year backpacking trip around the world with her husband (TVgasm fill-in specialist, The Professor). She spends her days writing, knitting and sewing. She's only good at one of those hobbies, not saying which.  Her secret dream is to write romance novels and have critics say her brilliance is wasted on such a pointless genre. Also, she'd like to create a pair of pajamas for her niece where the sleeves actually work.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    BSparky
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    Missed you, Luscious! It just wasn’t the same without your recap of the show. Just gotta wonder if the make-up artist had an eye patch on that day, don’t ya?!? Love how you used the telestrator technique to point out the flaws! lol

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    Oh my gawd. Going home, but thanks for the snarky comments under the pictures. Will read the full recap tomorrow. You are great Luscious. Glad you had fun at the wedding.

  3. 3
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Gah! I always hate the exes episode. Yes, you can run into an ex anywhere. However, you usually don’t run into them at your own house where you are hanging out with the person you’re currently seeing. In real life, if you see an ex, it’s usually in a place where you can say a quick hello and then walk away (if it’s in public like a restaurant or store or whatnot) or simply ignore them for the night (say at a party at a mutual friend’s place).

    Rant over. Thanks.

  4. 4
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 2:27 am

    Welcome back, Luscious!
    I’m glad you had fun at the wedding and congrats to your cousin!

    Paul was disgusting. I wanted to pick up Elizabeth and throw her silly ass through the wall for taking so long to tell him to get the hell out. I don’t even understand how she could sit there and feel anything for Paul after experiencing Carl. That’s like someone crying over their rusty old bike after being gifted a Lamborghini. Just foolish.

    And the exes episode is actually one of my favorites. It always yields some of the juiciest moments (I wish to GOD Tiffany had made it to the ex episode…can you imagine her ex(?)-husband telling that story about her stabbing his then-pregnant wife?) and it’s a good litmus test for seeing how much the girls have really changed. Also, I think it’s a good chance for them to concretely see the difference between the kinds of men they’ve been with versus the kinds of men they need to be with, and to see the difference between how they feel when they’re with these men. Like even when a lady is dating a bad guy, she can fool herself into thinking that she’s happy and enjoying it. But after dating a good guy and genuinely being happy, it’s probably easier to tell that the happy feelings with the bad guy weren’t real.
    That’s how it should have been with Elizabeth, except for that she’s a dodo bird and didn’t quite get the point.
    I think the lesson wasn’t lost on Stephanie and Shalana though….their exes were super-douches.

  5. 5
    Amanda
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 6:17 am

    Everytime I see the ‘best of show’ graphic in the recaps I read it as ‘best IN show.’ As if Tough Love Boot Camp is the Westminster dog show.

    I wondered what the hell was up with Chris’s comment about Melissa not being a virgin anymore. Poor guy heres to hoping that he didn’t think getting kissed is the same thing as losing ones virginity.

  6. 6
    Yvonne
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    I felt bad for Elizabeth but I also wanted to slap her. Shalana should have slapped Omar. I wasn’t too convinced about Aubrey but after I saw how he handled that loser Omar I like him.

  7. 7
    labowner
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 9:55 am

    Boo the ex episode means the show is coming to an end. I wish Steve did a recap with the girls from the prior seasons so see how well they have held up their end of the bargain. I can’t believe there isn’t therapy involved for these ladies as the obviously need it.

    Don’t think I could ever have such a reaction to any ex of mine. I don’t get it, but I guess that is why they are on this show.

    Elizabeth in jail? No farking way. Wonder if the other girls thought she was a working girl?

  8. 8
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 7:21 am

    It is just so painful to see these sweet, vulnerable girls suffer. I truly believe that this show isn’t scripted, just an honest program about lives being healed. No drama. No fighting. Just supportive comrades.
    Painful, but uplifting.

    I wish them all, not luck, but success.

    Funny, I recalled seeing my ex. I was at an art fair with a friend, with my year old kitten in a stroller.

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