Tough Love N.O. Recap: Saying Goodbye

Greetings Gasmii. Here we are at the very last episode of Tough Love New Orleans.

Seems like it has flown by, doesn’t it?

This season was ten episodes, two fewer than last season, but it seems like those two extra episodes can make a real difference. Granted one of last season’s was a reunion to follow up on the girls progress, but somehow I just don’t feel these girls are nearly as ready to graduate as last season’s crop of hopeless beauties. Remember last season when Brigitte finally made that miraculous transformation from marrying anything with a member to becoming discerning and refusing to project a fairy tale future? No on in the house in the Big Bayou seems to have nearly the same transformation. Elizabeth is starting to come around, but it seems like she’s being kicked out of her half-way house before she’s actually given up the drug.

Anyway, although the girls’ don’t seem to have made as much progress, there is no helping them with the fact that this is their last episode and it is time to say goodbye. What’s strange is that the poor girls have just jetted back from their weekend test at home to simply pack their bags and head back home. Talk about jet lag! What was the point of even having them return to the house? Seems silly, but I guess it was the only way to give them all a send off at the same time.

The episode starts off with the girls returning to the mansion and packing up their stuff. There is lots of reminiscing about how “it’s been real”, every dress has mascara tear stains and they are all nervous about the future.

Danielle gets props for resourcefulness.

And so with a few more interviews about not knowing what they are going to do next, we cut right to the chase and start the finale. The girls are all dressed up in their finest and I am loving Despina’s dress. Donna is back in the frumpy blue thing she started the show in. Why does she think that matronly garb is flattering? Shalana gets points for standing out in her bright and bold cubist dress and I think Danielle’s sparkly glitter number is pretty nice too. If Stephanie added a club to her ensemble, she might be mistaken for a cave woman.

I know, I’m talking about the dresses. It’s ridiculous, right?

Well here’s a warning. Very little of this final episode is interesting. The girls haven’t really learned a lot and it’s mostly just talk, talk, talk. Seriously, I’ve been procrastinating on covering this episode because it seemed too dull to make it funny. After two days of FBing, deciding to cover the webisode Burning Love, and looking at every You Tube video of Tyra Banks going ape on past ANTM contestants, I realized I had to force myself to sit down and bang this thing out.

And with that, I’m going to get some lunch. Do I eat the ground pork and sweet potatoes or sun dried tomato pasta? Fuck, there I go procrastinating again.

Just like in past seasons, each girl will be called to the hot seat to discuss what they’ve learned and make a decision about their future and the Tough Love Lab Experiment they were set up with. Donna is called first. This girl grew on me and irritated me during the season, but I absolutely adore her amazing comic timing.

Seriously, Donna, give stand up a try.

Donna tells Steve that she has never enjoyed dating before in her life. It was chore having to put up with smelly men in the hopes that her eggs might transform into zygotes, but with Chris she’s finally learned how to put procreation on the backburner and just have fun.  She says she’s scared to contemplate a future with Chris. Steve gives her a pep talk involving sky diving and leaps of faith and then George W is invited to join them.

George says he’s in for the future.

I’m not sure what it is that Donna does, but there is some kind of buck tooth talking through a smile thing she does when she gets overly happy. Her words get all slurred and nasal. I just watched an episode of Men At Work and they had a great term for it – Lazy Mouth.  Anyway, I’m pretty sure Donna was excited, but what I understood was “I’m hnghnsited.” Steve then pulls out Donna’s necklace and has now inscribed the word fearless on the back. She’s pretty pleased with her word and tells us all that she’s not scared anymore. Now she’s a bad ass.