We’re all done and now we get to meet the moms. First up is Elizabeth. She comes in with her dishes and it looks like she may have done well on the food. Suddenly, in walks Mom. She looks like your typical Southern lady and I wonder what she’ll think of Elizaabeth’s troweled-on makeup and wicked Northern accent. Then it’s revealed that the dish she’s just cooked is that of Mom’s. Mom finds it delicious and thinks it’s better than hers. Mom loves Elizabeth and thinks she looks beautiful. Elizabeth cries in the interview. I guess she’s never met a mom since the moms of her typical ancient sugardaddies probably kicked it long ago.
Danielle joins up with Corey and immediately starts to be complainy. Surprise surprise. In walks Corey’s sister Richelle, who looks like she’s not going to be easy to impress. The first thing Richelle says to Danielle is that this dish is her own recipe. Richelle is not at all impressed by the cuisine.
Next up, Melissa with some random guy she’s never met before and he has a ridiculous Justin Beiber hairdo. I can’t blame Melissa for inwardly rejecting this guy on sight. The problem is, however, that her disappointment reads all over her face and she just comes across as aloof the entire dinner. I really, really liked her at first, but now she’s just a pain in the ass. Justin Beiber’s mom was so nice which angers me even more.
Stephanie sits down with John and in walks a redhead with a giant cross hanging from her neck. They say Grace at the request of Johns’s mom. Stephanie goes with the flow and is very respectful about it. John points out to Stephanie that she has cooked his mom’s recipe to which his mother replies, “It’s very different.” John nearly chokes on his food when she says this, so I’m pretty sure this is par for the course with his mom. And it only gets worse. Mom suggests that Stephanie use Italian sausage next time and Steph tells her she’ll have to teach her in person next time. This would be a good cover had she not said it out the side of her mouth with an eye roll. But, who can blame her.
Next up, she asks what church she belongs to. Steph deftly skirts the issue by letting her know she was raised Catholic. Mom asks where she’s from and Steph tells her that she is from Dallas (hollah!). “A true Texan?” she asks. Nope, born in PA. While, as a true Texan, I appreciate her honest response to this question, Mom comes back that she’s really particular about the girls her son dates. Uh oh. No Yanks for this good ol’ boy.
You see this cross? It wards off vagina and chicks with hot dog lips.
John’s mom tells him that she’s not the kind of girl for him. John defends Stephanie, which is awesome. I bet he’s so exasperated by his beast of a mom. There’s only one solution for a mom like that.
I’m sorry, Mama! You made me do it!
DING DONG! Is that house landing on John’s mom? Nope, it’s a delivery for Despina. She’s truly surprised to find a dozen roses and a gift from Austin. The gift is a silver keychain that reads “You hold the key to our next date.” Of course, Despina doesn’t get to read it, because women don’t like other women to get surprises. As the girls descend upon Despina’s first sweet gift from a man, they find there’s a “microchip” in it. It’s an SD card with a video from Austin asking her out on a date at the airport where he works.
Despina shows emotion for the first time over this romantic gesture. I’m sad, because this is the first time she’s been treated so sweetly by a man instead of like a piece of meat.
She meets him at an airplane hangar and he’s got the romantic-dinner-in-a-box set up.
Like it? I got it at Party City.