True Blood: Can You Feel the HATE Tonight?

True Blood

By McWeanis | Thursday, July 26, 2012 | 2:00 pm | 10 Comments
Posted in: Recaps, True Blood

“I spose you know every cow you’ve ever eaten?” – Jessica

“I never f***** a cow!” – Jason

There’s fighting; Jessica bites him; he shoots her in the head.

 

What’s a little assault and battery between exes?

Jessica still has Bill’s vampire-king-minions around to protect her, though. For Jason, this is just more proof that all vamps are the same, like the one who killed his parents. I imagine this will eventually result in him uniting with Hoyt & the Haters.

After Jason slams out of Jessica’s house, he sees Sookie’s fairy lights twinkling and runs towards her.

Andy, Sam & Hoyt

Andy is hilariously on the other end of a serious interrogation from Kevin. Semi-retarded Kevin. He must be relishing this moment! They come together for a moment in horror at the creepy coroner’s sexual overshare, then Kevin returns to the interrogation. Except he forgot where he was. Lol.

this entire show is kind of an overshare.

In the back room, Kenya (haven’t seen her in FOREVER) is dubiously watching Sam sniff around looking for Obama gang evidence. I guess nobody filled her in on the shifter situation.

Meanwhile, Hoyt is bonding with his new hate group, which includes his friend since middle school Joe Bob. This scene is just ridiculously satirical: “Hate groups is about more than hate!” Hoyt’s clearly just looking for somewhere to belong. Fangbanging didn’t work, so now the pendulum has swung the opposite way? It seemed to me like he and his new gang made a pact to kill Jessica. Eep.

“I’d bet good money that toothy ass bitch hypnotized you into have sex with her.” – hick 1

“Yea. It wadn’t sex. It was date rape!” – hick 2

Much as I am pleased that the concept of date rape has seeped all the way down the hick food chain, this isn’t exactly how I hoped it’d be understood.

Joe Bob also gets a call from their leader, “Dragon.” The big news is that Junior is dead, shot by Sam. Although Hoyt never met that douchetard, he jumps right on the angry vengeance bandwagon.

Andy’s feeling insecure about his sheriffing skills, so he pays a visit to his old mentor Sheriff Dearborn.

oh yea, i was wondering how you were doing! Not.

Wow, what a useless scene! The old man doesn’t give a shit what’s going on with the supes. He doesn’t care about Andy. All he wants to do is cheat on his wife in peace. Why am I being subjected to this?

Sam goes to visit Luna in the hospital. I guess her shooting wound was worse than hers? Sookie also stops by with gifts. Does she even know Luna? When did that happen? Sam and Sook have a heart t0 heart about whether they’d give up her their special powers to be normal. I don’t listen.

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McWeanis
About

first thing's first: the origin of "mcweanis."

It is not because I have a giant weanis (look it up) although it is usually unusually bulbous and crusty.

it is in fact because as a child i was dubbed Weanie (it rhymes with my first name, because i'm awesomely named)  by my older sister Drunk, which my friends co-opted and which eventually evolved into weanis and finally mcweanis or MC weanis depending on how gangster i am at the time.

i am a huge nerd of all kinds, especially tv, books, and school. i'll be going to harvard law school in the fall cause i'm so SCHMANCY! i plan to put my excellent time management skills to work in balancing my courseload and my must-watch-tv-load.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    Tracy
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    I’ve heard speculation that the reason they showed Sheriff Dearborn is that he’s “Dragon”, so maybe it wasn’t a useless scene.

  2. 2
    someguy
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    I feel the same way. The show is. Becoming like LOST keep waiting for something to happen and it never does. Now we have another season to kill Russell. Gee wonder if sookie and Bill fall in love again. Your recaps keep me hanging in and watching the show but will soon take the time to read your great recaps and not watch this show.

  3. 3
    someguy
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Oh was Tara dancing to some music in her head or something. Seemed off beat to the music that was in the background unless she was going for that sad and out it stripped dance

  4. 4
    MissZag
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    Hocus Pocus!! Love that movie.

    This episode was a little on the slow side, but I LOL’d so many times that I was more entertained than normal. It’s like they upped the cheese factor on purpose. Bourbon street was AWESOME, haha (excpet the two things you mentioned).

    Thanks for recapping this show! Makes it even more enjoyable for me, and it can’t be easy with all the jumping around it does.

  5. 5
    Laura Gill Laura Gill
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    Kibwe the African American vamp wasn’t chowing down on the lady’s vag, but her femoral artery.

  6. 6
    SuburBint
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

    My life might have gone in a very different direction if I had a Dominatrix Eighties Vampire Lesbian Barbie to play with while I was growing up. *sigh* Oh well.

  7. 7
    Bronwen
    Posted July 28, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    I think True Blood has jumped the shark. There are too many damn storylines at once, so each one gets shorted and you never know what the hell is going on. They could get rid of Russell, Lafayette’s a demon, the fairies, Jessica/Hoyt, and the smoke monster and I would be pleased. None of those were in the books anyway. Although they’re so far off the books, it doesn’t really matter anymore.

  8. 8
    iwantadventure
    Posted July 29, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    I liked this episode it made me giggle a lot! I absolutely loved Russell singing and when they kill Russell off Denis O’Hare should go do weddings! OMG movie spinoff “The Vampire Wedding Singer” lol! Anyway, Sookie is stupid. I actually really like Martha, she takes no shit. I guess Sookie lost all sex appeal when she puked on Alcide’s shoes and Eric went to all that trouble to make Alcide find her disgusting. He moved on pretty quickly. I feel like, or maybe it’s just my hope, that everything is going to come together and suddenly make a whole lot of sense. Sometimes there’s a bigger idea and this season is off because we’re being set up for next season epicness! Admittedly this season has been slow but it’s also been one of the funniest with some of the best lines from the series. I love your recaps so please don’t give up on it yet!

  9. 9
    beachgal
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Could we pretty please get a nsfw tag if there is going to be nudity in the recaps. As much as I love your recaps, I love my job more.

  10. 10
    mcweanis
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    WHOOPS! i forgot that people have jobs and that female nudity is a thing. honestly though i didnt even think of it

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