True Blood: Can You Feel the HATE Tonight?

True Blood

By McWeanis | Thursday, July 26, 2012 | 2:00 pm | 10 Comments
Posted in: Recaps, True Blood

Lafayette

Lafayette drove like the mofo wind down to Mexico. The door to the creepy grandpa house is open. That’s always a good sign, so Lafayette goes in. He finds Jesus’ severed head on a chair, a grandpa aiming a shotgun at him, and a (STILL?!?!) pregnant wife.

BAD feng shui. BAD.

(How long has it been since their last visit? I always forget how time works on this show. I think the writer’s do, too.) Grandpa is pissed because Jesus gave his demon powers to Lafayette, instead of back to the fam. He’s going to remedy that – by sewing Lafayette’s mouth shut, cutting his head open, and feeding the blood to the young pregnant wife.

oooh let’s watch this instead! name that 90s movie!

Granpa gets most of the way through the plan before the pregnant woman gets her butt out of the kitchen and stabs him to death. She then releases Lafayette’s mouth-stitches. KkkK!

Tara

Tara’s stripping now.

can’t be unseen.

She’s hot, but I really didn’t need to see that. And neither did her mom! OHH snap it’s Lettie Mae!

baby girl!

She’s come to say bye; she’s a preacher’s wife now, and she can’t have no vampire for a daughter. Let alone a stripper vampire.

“You are dead to me, baby girl.” – Lettie Mae

“Oh no. You’ll be seeing me again.” – Tara

Yikes! I wouldn’t be surprised if Tara eats her momma. It would serve her right. Plus there’d be a yummy vodka aftertaste! Pam has another nice surrogate mommy moment with Tara -

Dominatrix Eighties Vampire Lesbian Barbie

“So your mom’s a bitch. In a hundred years, you won’t even remember who she is.” Tara has a new life and a new mommy now! Even if this mommy’s a bitch too. She’s a HOT bitch at least.

So. As you may have noticed, I felt disappointed by that episode. I thought things would pick up steam after last week – but instead it was same old same old. BLAH. Lemme know if you feel the same or if I’m just a jaded old mcwean!

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McWeanis
About

first thing's first: the origin of "mcweanis."

It is not because I have a giant weanis (look it up) although it is usually unusually bulbous and crusty.

it is in fact because as a child i was dubbed Weanie (it rhymes with my first name, because i'm awesomely named)  by my older sister Drunk, which my friends co-opted and which eventually evolved into weanis and finally mcweanis or MC weanis depending on how gangster i am at the time.

i am a huge nerd of all kinds, especially tv, books, and school. i'll be going to harvard law school in the fall cause i'm so SCHMANCY! i plan to put my excellent time management skills to work in balancing my courseload and my must-watch-tv-load.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    Tracy
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    I’ve heard speculation that the reason they showed Sheriff Dearborn is that he’s “Dragon”, so maybe it wasn’t a useless scene.

  2. 2
    someguy
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    I feel the same way. The show is. Becoming like LOST keep waiting for something to happen and it never does. Now we have another season to kill Russell. Gee wonder if sookie and Bill fall in love again. Your recaps keep me hanging in and watching the show but will soon take the time to read your great recaps and not watch this show.

  3. 3
    someguy
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Oh was Tara dancing to some music in her head or something. Seemed off beat to the music that was in the background unless she was going for that sad and out it stripped dance

  4. 4
    MissZag
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    Hocus Pocus!! Love that movie.

    This episode was a little on the slow side, but I LOL’d so many times that I was more entertained than normal. It’s like they upped the cheese factor on purpose. Bourbon street was AWESOME, haha (excpet the two things you mentioned).

    Thanks for recapping this show! Makes it even more enjoyable for me, and it can’t be easy with all the jumping around it does.

  5. 5
    Laura Gill Laura Gill
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    Kibwe the African American vamp wasn’t chowing down on the lady’s vag, but her femoral artery.

  6. 6
    SuburBint
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

    My life might have gone in a very different direction if I had a Dominatrix Eighties Vampire Lesbian Barbie to play with while I was growing up. *sigh* Oh well.

  7. 7
    Bronwen
    Posted July 28, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    I think True Blood has jumped the shark. There are too many damn storylines at once, so each one gets shorted and you never know what the hell is going on. They could get rid of Russell, Lafayette’s a demon, the fairies, Jessica/Hoyt, and the smoke monster and I would be pleased. None of those were in the books anyway. Although they’re so far off the books, it doesn’t really matter anymore.

  8. 8
    iwantadventure
    Posted July 29, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    I liked this episode it made me giggle a lot! I absolutely loved Russell singing and when they kill Russell off Denis O’Hare should go do weddings! OMG movie spinoff “The Vampire Wedding Singer” lol! Anyway, Sookie is stupid. I actually really like Martha, she takes no shit. I guess Sookie lost all sex appeal when she puked on Alcide’s shoes and Eric went to all that trouble to make Alcide find her disgusting. He moved on pretty quickly. I feel like, or maybe it’s just my hope, that everything is going to come together and suddenly make a whole lot of sense. Sometimes there’s a bigger idea and this season is off because we’re being set up for next season epicness! Admittedly this season has been slow but it’s also been one of the funniest with some of the best lines from the series. I love your recaps so please don’t give up on it yet!

  9. 9
    beachgal
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Could we pretty please get a nsfw tag if there is going to be nudity in the recaps. As much as I love your recaps, I love my job more.

  10. 10
    mcweanis
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    WHOOPS! i forgot that people have jobs and that female nudity is a thing. honestly though i didnt even think of it

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