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Heh! Remember that time that last week there were a lot of storylines? Also, remember a lot of random little diddles of scenes that never went anywhere? Well, tonight, True Blood’s going to address ALL OF THEM! (Just kidding, only like two, but they’re still pretty random. You’ll see.)
I’m going to start with the stories that are completely disconnected and make no sense. Yay!
FLASH to one of the Dakotas (who cares which?) It’s Terry and his army buddy Patrick, looking for another one of their army buddies, who may or may not have done something bad or something. Oh wait, things are about to be explained sort of:
FLASH to Iraq, where the army boys are celebrating the fourth of july with booze, drugs, and fireworks. And by fireworks, I mean they are cheering as they see some (oddly beautiful) bombs rain down on some Iraqi town in the distance.
Most of the guys are sitting in a prayer tower, with one sentry downstairs. They’re singing and being patriotic about death when some Iraqi guy come up yelling. Not sure if it’s for singing or being in the prayer tower or being soldiers or what. When the Iraqi guy says “Fuck you Bush,” the sentry shoots him right dead.
Everyone is like shiiiit. (I thought stuff like this happened all the time, but I guess I’m not in the army.) Of course, there’s never just one Iraqi, and mourning community members/ family members merge from the woodwork, while the original crazy guy continues to shoot everyone. Everything’s super confusing, which I guess is the point; I can’t tell whether the Americans were ever being shot at or not. It’s scary, and one of the soldiers is wounded, and there’s a whole pile of Iraqi dead bodies and Terry flips. This is traumatic and all; is there any special reason why Terry is the most traumatized? Was he supposed to be in charge? I couldn’t tell.
So anyway, that whole FLASH to Iraq was Terry’s nightmare as he drives to mysterious army buddy #2′s house. When they get there, night has fallen. The obvious choice is to investigate a creepy structure owned by a possible murderer in the middle of the night! Oh, let’s go into his secret underground dungeon! Which is full of really creepy pics of fire and dead looking stuff. (How many crazy people actually have a secret crazy bunker? Lazy writers.) As Terry and Patrick check out all this evidence, mysterious army buddy #2 pops out of the darkness with a gun on them.
Sooooo… WTF. Is this guy the same crazy guy who shot all the Iraqis? Why is he being crazy now? Was it the actual shooting that messed with Terry, or is there some even more messed up coverup on the way (like killing a member of the crew who wanted to tattle?) Is he really responsible for Terry’s house fire? If so, why did we see the fire starting itself, presumably from the ghost? If not, why didn’t the guy try to burn Terry’s house down too? So far, this storyline is stupid.
After Alcide speeds off in a huff, Lafayette comes outside to confront Sookie as well. She’s the one who’s been saying they have to keep the Debbie thing quiet the whole time, and now she’s gone and opened her mouth. Why, you might ask? She’s following Gran’s advice: if you do the right thing, it’ll be alright. (yea, I gave up on that when I was like five). Lafayette’s on my side: yea, everything works out for SOOKIE, but everyone around her gets screwed. She’s the angel of death. Burn.
So, since Lafayette’s so mad at Sookie, he decides to… turn into a demon and put a curse on her car?
Which later spins out of control as the tires, brakes, axel and everything start to break and fall off the car? Which Sookie crashes into a tree, but she leaps out at JUST THE LAST SECOND? Which Lafayette later finds, and sort of remembers he put a curse on her car, even though he didn’t mean to?