Finally, the answer we’ve all been waiting for… What makes Russell’s dick hard??
Previously… there was a scary roar at the end of the episode!
What was it? A gang of werewolves, stashed all over the old hospital! Yep, once again, Russell has V-addicted werewolf minions. While the wolves attack Alcide, Bill and, and Eric, Russell takes advantage of their distraction to attack Sookie, who flings him away with fairy light.
Eric swoops in to stake Russell, but Bill pulls up in time to stop him: if the boys turn in Russell alive, maybe the authority will let them live?
Best. Threeway. Ever.
Bill convinces Eric to hold off long enough for Black Authority Council guy to swoop in with laser guns to take over. (Do the laser guns shoot stakes or something?) Sookie’s like wtfff? As she has not really been updated on the whole Authority Politics situation. Don’t worry, Sook, it’s not that interesting.
As Russell is dragged off, he goes on a tirade about how these Authority vampires are no better than humans with their “magical thinking”. AGREE! Fundamentalism is never ftw.
Eric and Bill think quickly to explain the presence of Sookie and Alcide – they were humpin’ in a van, which the boys needed for Doug to take them to the hospital.
JUST KIDDING! This is a superior menage.
They “know too much,” so Eric glamours Alcide and Bill “glamours” Sookie. (Okay, so many problems with this. Black Authority guy is not suspicious that Alcide’s a werewolf and then Russell just happened to have werewolf minions? Also, he can’t SMELL SOOKIE? I thought fairy blood was supposed to smell all crazy and awesome, like Jessica chasing that fairy guy to the wooded clearing. And again, later in the episode, the vamps get all chompy just from a drop of Sookie blood on a bandaid. So the idea that Black Authority guy thinks she is human? )
BIll’s glamouring is all metaphorical: “It will be as though we never met. And you will live your life, as you were meant to live it. In the sun.” This brings about shiny almost-tears in both their eyes.
(Why don’t vampires eyes turn red and bloody when they’re ABOUT to cry?)
Eric’s glamouring is hilarious and a bit romantic. He takes it upon himself to VERY SENSUALLY heal Alcide’s wounds with a drop of vamp blood. For your benefit, I have included a montage.
i don’t know why a man’s resistance weakening turns me on so much.