The Hoyt is Mine
Jessica and Tara’s fight is quickly shut down by Pam. Tara’s getting a little big for her leather dominatrix chaps, calling Fangtasia “MY house.” Pam takes care of that; this is HER house. (Tara: “Yes, Missy Pam.”) Pam’s proud of Tara’s fighting skills – like she would be proud of a well-trained dog. Yikes. Some serious slavery metaphors going on here.
So, Jessica’s plan to be besties with Tara went out the window. Jessica’s misery is compounded by a little visit from Hoyt, clearly drunk off alcohol or being drained or something. He thinks Jessica’s decision to save his life means she’s still in love with him. (You know Hoyt, there is an in-between place where you’re not in love with a person, and also don’t want them to die.) He gives one of the saddest little speeches in True Blood history:
“You wanna glamour me? You wanna hypnotize me and do everything you ever wanted to do with a human being no matter how depraved? I don’t give a fuck. But will you please just do it with me?”
wounded puppy in a purple cutoff.
That really hurts. And it really freaks Jessica out, because it is so far from the sweet Hoyt she used to know, and he’s clearly changing just to get to her.
the familiar faces of dealing with a pathetic ex.
Later, in a back alley, Hoyt’s getting sucked up when the vamp warns him his heart is slowing way down. Hoyt tells him to keep sucking. Luckily for Hoyt lovers and Jessica’s guilt, the Obama mask supe-killers pull up in the van and explodify Hoyt’s suck buddy. They are in fact a bunch of hick white boys – and they recognize Hoyt, and pull him into their van to save him.
More sad stuff… Jason naps and dreams of his dad. They’re almost the same age, now, which is tragic.
Jason tells him about his last dream, the breakfast one: “Daddy, you called me champ! Like you used to! Although I’d forgotten you ever did that.”Jason blabs the whole dream away, and his dad only gets one line: “The only thing you have to fear, i-” and then Jason wakes up. (Fear itself, amirite?)
Holly, Sookie and Arlene have a nice bonding about how men suck – I feel you girls! – when Jason storms in to share the fairy nightclub/parent murdering news. He takes Sookie to the big open field/faerie nightclub. (Hilariously, he tries to recover his stolen tie from a faerie only to get man-solicited.) There’s also a really unnecessarily long faerie dancing montage. Ew.
So remember how a long time ago faeries were evil or something and we never resolved that? I guess we’re going there now. Also, remember that really gross “meth teeth, bat eared” faerie man who helped Sookie escape Queen Mab? He’s back, but he’s hot now, cause I guess faeries adjust their hotness or something. His sister Claudine is dead, but all his other Claude-named sisters are around. He tells the ‘true’ story of how mom and dad Stackhouse died: