True Blood Recap: Growing Pains

True Blood

By McWeanis | Wednesday, July 11, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 9 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, True Blood

Well, this was a short, relatively uncomplicated episode. It happened to make for mediocre tv, but it’s great for me as a recapper! Heigh ho!

Russell Hunt/Boring Politics

At the end of last week’s episode, millions (dozens?) of Alsookie Stackheaux shippers were thrilled as the two FINALLY appeared to be getting it on. This week, we get about ten more seconds of tongue twisting and a great ab shot before Sookie voms right on Alcide’s feet.

you’re welcome!

I hope he was still wearing shoes. To his credit, Alcide looks more surprised and concerned than mad or disappointed, and he stays sweet to Sookie throughout the episode. I guess when your werewolf traditions involve eating each others dead bodies, it’s hard to get grossed out.

Just to ruin the moment a little more, Bill and Eric appear in the doorway, clearly pleased.  I guess they were going to interrupt the pair either way. At least Sookie ruined it first, or I think both she and Alcide would have been waaay more pissed.

Bill and Eric are there (supposedly) for Sookie’s help: they want her to ‘unglamor’ Alcide’s employee, Doug, who must know how Russell got out. Sookie’s more than a tad frustrated with the never-ending cycle of supernatural threats: “A 3,000 year old vampire wants to suck my blood. Must be Thursday!” Sookie goes into Doug’s mind through the glamour, and sees that a woman with an authority pendant dug up Russell. So.. Nora or Salome, or the woman on the panel?

Speaking of Nora, she’s still alive (as far as vamps go) and is praying furiously in her cell.

I don’t know why she isn’t dead yet, already having given up Traitor Child Vamp, who went kersplat last week.

The Authority minions are watching Eric and Bill’s movements, and to them it seems the boys are just eating coffee and donuts and hitting on Sookie. Frustrated with the lack of progress, Salome resets the clock: they have until dawn. to find Russell.

The Guardian, meanwhile, is mourning Traitor Boy Vamp, who was supposed to be his bro for eternal life. He’s also looking into a mysterious vial of blood, purported to be Lilith’s.

Anyway, the lady who stole Russell made Doug carry him to his new location, creepy old hospital. (Why? It’s not like vamps need help carrying anything. Best guess: cute outfit and she didn’t want to get Russell’s pus-y face on it.)

looks like something from the back of my fridge.

Sookie and the boys follow the trail. Bill and Eric have adorable homoerotic aggression (shocking!) about who’s a bigger traitor and such – when they get the call from Mac from Veronica Mars that the I-Stakes are set to activate at dawn. Bigger part for Mac please!

Eric and Bill try, as usual, to claim they are going to be the manly saviors and go find Russell while Sookie waits outside. Yea right. “Don’t you know not to split up in a big creepy asylum with a crazed killer on the loose?” Plus, she has the “microwave fingers.” Sookie pushes her way in.

 Inside the hospital, Doug is adorably afraid and making little Are You Afraid of the Dark whimpers. He’s lamenting never going to New York before he dies. (Eric: “New York City smells like pee and the people are rude.”) Sookie follows Doug’s mind-path-thing, and they come upon a cute little rattie chewing on a human hand.

OM NOM NOM!

Behind some Halloween decorations, they find a pile of dead bodies, one of whom I believe is the spawn of Kevin Sorbo and John Hamm.

right??? right???

Doug runs off in fear and finds a bunch of people in straightjackets waiting to be eaten by Russell. They don’t release them.. but I hope they do, cause that’s actually really scary.

Demon Lafayette

Lafayette sees his demon face in the mirror and starts praying.. when all his little prayer figurines start moving and talking to him.

wall o’ juju

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McWeanis
About

first thing's first: the origin of "mcweanis."

It is not because I have a giant weanis (look it up) although it is usually unusually bulbous and crusty.

it is in fact because as a child i was dubbed Weanie (it rhymes with my first name, because i'm awesomely named)  by my older sister Drunk, which my friends co-opted and which eventually evolved into weanis and finally mcweanis or MC weanis depending on how gangster i am at the time.

i am a huge nerd of all kinds, especially tv, books, and school. i'll be going to harvard law school in the fall cause i'm so SCHMANCY! i plan to put my excellent time management skills to work in balancing my courseload and my must-watch-tv-load.

9 Comments

  1. 1
    LAC LAC
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    Thank you for the recap, the Alcide “I could grate cheese on his abs” shot and the Jason “I could bounce a quarter off of his ass” shot. About damn time, stupid writers! :)

    Yeah, I am looking forward to the Pam/Jessica/Tara story next week. I am finding the guardian storyline a bit tiresome.

  2. 2
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    More tech, special effects, explosions = less compelling story lines. ::sigh::

  3. 3
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    Even though he’s always been ancillary to the action, I’ve always liked Sam. Mostly because of Sam Trammell and that adorable Border Collie he’d shift into. Of course a 40 year old man who is still cute as a button would shift into a Border Collie.

    But he could have easily left Bon Temps when he met Luna and I’d have happily assumed he, Luna and Emma were all happy at last. This whole shifter/werewolf storyline is anti-climactic if the main wolf is too busy running around after Sookie.

  4. 4
    BlueCanary
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    The kevin sorbo/jon hamm baby tag! You made a tag for it! Way to steal the thread win before the recap even posts. Love it.

    Jason in the He-Man jammies is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. And many thanks for the Alcide abs.

    Poor pititul Hoyt makes me want to cry.

  5. 5
    lindaw205
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    I’m pretty bored with any scenes that involve the Authority and the neverending torture of Nora. My only interest so far this season is in Pam/Tara/Jessica and I’m liking the bromance between Bill and Eric. Too bad they had to involve Sookeh but at least Alcide is along to buffer my annoyance with her. And I’ve always loved LaFayette but can’t stand his brujo storyline. I want the awesome LaFayette back. And bar owner Sam. Who minds Merlottes because he’s never there and neither are any of the waitresses?

  6. 6
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 10:12 am

    I don’t really understand how Jessica has a leg to stand on re: Hoyt when (a) she dumped him and (b) she cheated on him with Jason, and (c) she told him to move on at the end of last season. I think she’s jealous because Hoyt has been trying to connect with the vampires and Fangtasia since Season 2 and has never actually fit in, but Tara provides the opening he was looking for. I am curious about the whole Tara/Hoyt dynamic, because it’s always cool to see a tv show change the dynamics of already-established relationships in an organic way. Meaning, Hoyt used to be a mama’s boy, now he’s lunch! Tara used to be this hot, unattainable, but bitter bitch; now she’s the vampiric fantasy come to life. It’s definitely the best story on TB right now.

  7. 7
    iwantadventure
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 10:50 am

    I love how you included all the great lines from this episode, there were quite a few, especially Eric’s line about NY! Anyway, I could be confusing the promos for next week but I’m pretty sure before the episode ended we saw it was Alcide having an asthma attack or tapping into his soldiers nature. I suspect it will be a whole before we see him nakie, since it looks like Alcide gets abducted…Boo! I really hope they don’t kill Lunar because Sam deserves to be happy and their relationship needs closure. How do the hooligan shooters know they’re Shifters?! What’s more worrisome is Emma running off on her own, Cra-cra Grandma Markus is probably going to find her and do some creepy wereslhit that like binds Emma to the pack. I have a feeling Jason is going to do something very stupid, hopefully whatever it is puts him back into sex and also helps him capture the hooligan shooters! I still hate Tara

  8. 8
    iwantadventure
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 10:55 am

    Damn autocorrect! It shouldn’t say Alcide’s solider nature, it should say wolfie nature, IDK why it corrected it to solider, oops

  9. 9
    Zatanna
    Posted July 15, 2012 at 6:34 am

    I am liking the Tara/Pam/Jessica thing – Tara is a lot less irritating as a vampire, and I am glad they are developing Pam outside of Eric. The Lafayette thing could be ok in theory, but the way it’s being done is so drawn out and boring, ugh. Agreed that having Jesus around makes Lafayette’s stuff better because it added more dimension to the character, now he is just wandering around muttering to himself bleh.

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