True Blood Recap: Hearing Voices

True Blood

By McWeanis | Tuesday, August 21, 2012 | 11:13 pm | 12 Comments
Posted in: Recaps, True Blood

In which all of the storylines finally come together… by bringing everyone to the Authority.

Schizoid….

We open with Bill.. hearing voices. That’s always a good sign. Maybe he’s drank a little too much Sookie? No, it’s Full Bush Lilith calling to him: “Only one can lead us. I choose you. Drink the blood. Drink it all.” This has got to be a dream, right? Why do people keep thinking that Bill is special? NOT SPECIAL!

Nora and Eric escape…

Nora is also hearing voices, kinda – flashbacks from her last hallucination-y talk to Godric, about how Lilith is real bad. She’s clearly having some doubts, but Salome swoops in with some inspirational words and some comforting smooches.


hmm.. haven’t had enough female homoeroticism lately… let’s throw some in!

I guess she needed more smooches, cause she goes to Eric instead. It’s pretty clear that Eric’s ‘conversion’ was fake, and it seems like Lilith might have pushed Nora back to the good side by killing Godric. Also, they bone. Doesn’t it seem like there is more important stuff to be done than make-up sex?

The Authority is also getting a very special visit from an Army General – yes, a human one.

and he’s got Nina Garcia neck.

He hasn’t been informed that Roman is no longer running the show. But he has been informed that Russell has been released, and the military has a video of him and Steve nommin’ a bunch of frat brothers.  (Why does the Authority care about the video, since they want to eat everyone? They need to keep a lid on their plans so humans don’t find out and attack vampires.) It’s no longer clear who has the upper hand in the situation. The General feels pretty confident.. until he stands to leave, and Eric snaps his neck. (Part of his plan to escape?)

The Authority is split on whether this was a good idea. Roslyn thought he was a dick anyway; the others are pissed. Eric and Nora have “an idea”: a glamouring campaign, to eliminate all memories that the video existed. Salome approves it, but Bill is suspicious and sends a security detail along.

“hey, stephen.. i’m not sure i’m getting the ‘suspicious’ vibe, could you act a little harder?”

Eric quickly dispatches the security detail along the way; Nora rips off her Authority pendant, and they fly off into the darkness. To save the day?

 

Jessica doesn’t turn Jason…

Jessica’s is also trapped in the Authority fortress, and she’s worried about Jason: Steve Newlin and Russell are out in the world now, and she wants to warn him. But Bill won’t let her. Jason and Sookie “are food, and nothing more.” Jess suggests that she turn Jason into a vampire, so they can be together forever. Jess was clearly trying to find a way to save Jason (without actually turning him), but Bill sees that and commands her to do it instead! Well, he doesn’t maker-command her, but he sends her off with his guards to Bon Temps.

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McWeanis
About

first thing's first: the origin of "mcweanis."

It is not because I have a giant weanis (look it up) although it is usually unusually bulbous and crusty.

it is in fact because as a child i was dubbed Weanie (it rhymes with my first name, because i'm awesomely named)  by my older sister Drunk, which my friends co-opted and which eventually evolved into weanis and finally mcweanis or MC weanis depending on how gangster i am at the time.

i am a huge nerd of all kinds, especially tv, books, and school. i'll be going to harvard law school in the fall cause i'm so SCHMANCY! i plan to put my excellent time management skills to work in balancing my courseload and my must-watch-tv-load.

12 Comments

  1. 1
    lindaw205
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 6:27 am

    How stupid is Faetaesia? That’s the most idiotic strip bar EVER! The dance the elder Fae did only reminded me of the movie Mars Attacks, where the martian dresses up as a human to get into the white house. The Fae moved just like that martian did. And then she goes “Stand back, I’ve got this!!!!” and then runs outside and gets her face sucked in. Stupid fairys!!

    That “Doh” cap of Andy was perfect, though. Gave me a giggle.

    Oh, True Blood, True Blood where art thou? This season can only be redeemed if BAMF Eric zooms in and puts both Bill and Salome (oh, and lets not forget about Nora) out of their misery by staking the lilith right out of them.

  2. 2
    Pink Lemonade
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 7:29 am

    Luna needs to go. Grandma Werewolf can raise her. Sam can find someone worthy of the awesome shifter man that he is.

    Salome, Nora and Baby Eater can go. Sookie can go for that matter but she won’t.

    I really like Alcide. I really like Robert Patrick as his father and the fact that he had his son’s back with a compound bow.

  3. 3
    Rebecca
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 7:50 am

    My favorite new game while watching this show is:

    “Watch them hide Anna Paquin’s Baby Bump”

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 8:22 am

    HA! I’ve been playing the same game Rebecca.

  5. 5
    Orion
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 8:39 am

    Frankly, I hate Bill so much (especially after he hit Jessica) I’m rooting for Salome in their showdown. I know they won’t kill Bill and have figured Salome’s a goner since they introduced her, but it’s about time Bill, who is only 173+, actually has to fight a vampire, rather than getting away with just tricking them (816-year-old Nan; 500-year-olds Sophie-Anne and Kibwe) and getting away unscathed. Salome is over 2,000 years old, so I’ll be irritated if Evil Bill gets to stake her with a pencil or some such shit without so much as a scratch, as she could kill him with one smack at that age.

  6. 6
    CynTV CynTV
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    They need to get back to the naked men. Seriously. And I DON’T mean Russell. (Ew.)

  7. 7
    iwantadventure
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    This episode was intense. Unfortunately I am confident that almost nothing will get resolved in the finale.

    Salome is a goner because they won’t kill Bill, though they really should! I bet Roslyn swoops in, kills Salome! Nora is also goo because she got her reprieve and it’s just tragic enough for us to feel bad for Eric.

    I’m glad they didn’t turn Jason. I don’t like Maurella either, but it seems obvious they’re setting up a human vs. faerie war and since Holly is a witch and will be angry with Andy they’ll bring that back in and it’s going to be this grand showdown of Supes!

    I can’t decide if they’re going to kill Russell or leave it until next season. We have Warlow for next season and I feel like everything is already tied up in that including Russell, which has me thinking he’ll be around but then it’s been two season of him as the villain it would make sense to move on.

    Sam is going to save the day and Eric is going to save Sookie that I’m sure of!

    I don’t want the season to end but I’m looking forward to what they’ll do in the finale! I hope you recap next season McWeanis you’ve done an awesome job!

  8. 8
    McWeanis McWeanis
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    i forgot to mention that the Crazy Elder’s dance looked like a shitty contemporary solo from so you think you can dance.

  9. 9
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    Tara’s “keep your laws off my body” pissed me off. Any of the lost feminist tribe will know what I mean. It sounded like a young writer told an even younger intern to go find some Roe v. Wade quote that they could pithily apply to the baby vamp production mandate. UGH.

    And when did get violence become more compelling than sex? Bring back the rapacious Erik the Viking, please…

  10. 10
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 7:30 am

    I don’t have any spoilers, but…this is season 5, right? Per Terrence Winter, that is the season where you shockingly kill off a major character. (Of course, the rat bastard did it in the second season of Boardwalk Empire.) So hope springs eternal that idiot Bill will finally get staked.

  11. 11
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 7:59 am

    I know that’s why people started tuning in…the sex…why have they deviated from this?

    I heard that Alan Ball didn’t write this season. Is this why we were introduced to the Sangunista? Normally the season follows the books a bit, this season has gone all the way rouge!

  12. 12
    LAC LAC
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Honey, speak for yourself – I care about Alcide…I would care about him so hard, he would see stars! LOL!. Thanks for the picture…

    classy, I am with you. I am not sure I am feeling all the bloody blood on this show. It is definitely off pace from the books.

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