The new Bill might not be around much longer, though. Bill goes to visit everyone’s favorite talking mystical vial of blood, and finds another Chancellor bowing before it, and another bloody Lilith handprint: she’s been visiting everyone, and telling them they’re the One! Burnnn!
Rather than react like a reasonable adult, Bill just slices off his competitor’s head. Dead black chancellor! I thought he would realize the error of his ways, but instead he got crazier.
Wow, everyone’s in the Authority! Sam passes Pam in the hallway; Jessica’s back to see Bill.
after a good ole ear boxin’ by Roslyn! Yay vampires, for keeping the classics alive.
And he is pissed. “Who are you to defy me? I am the chosen one!” He evens throws Jessica across the room! Child abuse! Even as Bill declares his specialness, Lilith goes on to choose Salome.
I bet Salome will take her right up on that offer and drink all the blood stat. Most Boring Characters Showdown: Salome v. Bill! With an opener of Alcide v. Nora!
Meanwhile, at faery brothel tent…
Sookie’s super shaken up by the fact that her ancestors, well, sold her. She’s hiding out in the faery brothel, and going to see the eldest elder.
Sookie has the shittiest guardian angels.
She’s crazy and Kesha obsessed, and she doesn’t want to talk about Warlow – it’s forbidden! “There’s a reason you slut your heart out to every cute guy out there with fangs.” Crazy elder is about to spill those beans when Jason spills into the faery tent to warn Sookie about Steve and Russell. Crazy Elder is immediately distracted/horrified by the news that Russell is alive. The faeries plus Jason all make the plan to fight against him to together. (Should’ve turned him when you had the chance Jess! Now he’s gonna die!)
Andy stops by Merlotte’s to visit Holly; he also gets an apology from her sons for ButtNetGate. OK, from one of her sons; the other one’s still a dick. More set up for the faery pregnancy: Andy promises to do right by Holly. Nooo!
smile while you can, girl.
Arlene and Terry are back together and more adorable than ever. Their secret: trust, honesty, and loyalty.
uh, okay, Arlene. cause you had so much faith in Terry when you thought he was off his meds rather than pursued by an actual demon… and when you hired Lafayette to lie to him…
Cue pregnant Mirella, entering Merlotte’s to ask for Andy to protect her and her baby. Yikes.