I thought Andy only had sex with Mirella the first time in the woods. But apparently he cheated on Holly when he visited Mirella just one week ago, and now she’s super pregs. He also signed a “light pact” saying he would protect her, and if he breaks it, it’s an act of war. I don’t know about you guys, but Mirella seems kind of like a douche to me. She never wants to help Sookie, and it’s clear she’s using Andy for SOMETHING. I don’t know why she thinks his protection is so valuable or wanted his baby – maybe it has something to do with his ancestry? Remember a long time ago we found out he’s related to Bill? I don’t know.
Dumb Interlude….
Oh look! A check-in with some people we don’t at all care about! Alcide and his dad! A friend has stopped by to warn them about approaching gangs of baby vamps. Well, an ex-friend – apparently he drove Alcide’s dad out of his pack, but for good reason. Alcide’s dad stole money from the pack. Since Alcide is no longer having sex, we get hot shots of shirtless wood chopping instead. And then he’s real mad, so he’s just hitting the ground with an axe instead, which I guess is also fine.
maybe Alcide could have a tragic accident, rendering him mute but still helpful for occasional manual labor relevant to the storyline.
The silver fence at Alcide’s place keeps the baby vamps out, so they head out to the neighbor’s house. I mean trailer. Alcide has to be the hero, so he runs over to help.. He takes one out (“when we die we’re goo????”) and his dad shows up out of nowhere to take out another. Yay?
a different rugged look, for those who like the more violent woodsy type.
CLIMAX!
Russell and Steve show up and grab Jason, and glamour him into telling them where Sookie is. This seems to be all according to the plan, so far. I’m surprised they don’t use the glamouring to make a little.. umm… meatier of a hunk sandwich.

are taken to the site by Jason, but they can’t find the entrance, and are just zooming all over the place. They can smell them, though. The Crazy Elder goes out herself to see Russell. Steve runs rights at her, and she fairy lights him fifty feet away. When she tries to attack Russell, though, she accidentally zaps Jason, and then misses with her second shot. Russell drinks her dry and she turns all zombie-ish and disappears.

god damned cocky faeries.
Then all of a sudden, he can see all the other faeries and runs right at them!


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How stupid is Faetaesia? That’s the most idiotic strip bar EVER! The dance the elder Fae did only reminded me of the movie Mars Attacks, where the martian dresses up as a human to get into the white house. The Fae moved just like that martian did. And then she goes “Stand back, I’ve got this!!!!” and then runs outside and gets her face sucked in. Stupid fairys!!
That “Doh” cap of Andy was perfect, though. Gave me a giggle.
Oh, True Blood, True Blood where art thou? This season can only be redeemed if BAMF Eric zooms in and puts both Bill and Salome (oh, and lets not forget about Nora) out of their misery by staking the lilith right out of them.
Luna needs to go. Grandma Werewolf can raise her. Sam can find someone worthy of the awesome shifter man that he is.
Salome, Nora and Baby Eater can go. Sookie can go for that matter but she won’t.
I really like Alcide. I really like Robert Patrick as his father and the fact that he had his son’s back with a compound bow.
My favorite new game while watching this show is:
“Watch them hide Anna Paquin’s Baby Bump”
HA! I’ve been playing the same game Rebecca.
Frankly, I hate Bill so much (especially after he hit Jessica) I’m rooting for Salome in their showdown. I know they won’t kill Bill and have figured Salome’s a goner since they introduced her, but it’s about time Bill, who is only 173+, actually has to fight a vampire, rather than getting away with just tricking them (816-year-old Nan; 500-year-olds Sophie-Anne and Kibwe) and getting away unscathed. Salome is over 2,000 years old, so I’ll be irritated if Evil Bill gets to stake her with a pencil or some such shit without so much as a scratch, as she could kill him with one smack at that age.
They need to get back to the naked men. Seriously. And I DON’T mean Russell. (Ew.)
This episode was intense. Unfortunately I am confident that almost nothing will get resolved in the finale.
Salome is a goner because they won’t kill Bill, though they really should! I bet Roslyn swoops in, kills Salome! Nora is also goo because she got her reprieve and it’s just tragic enough for us to feel bad for Eric.
I’m glad they didn’t turn Jason. I don’t like Maurella either, but it seems obvious they’re setting up a human vs. faerie war and since Holly is a witch and will be angry with Andy they’ll bring that back in and it’s going to be this grand showdown of Supes!
I can’t decide if they’re going to kill Russell or leave it until next season. We have Warlow for next season and I feel like everything is already tied up in that including Russell, which has me thinking he’ll be around but then it’s been two season of him as the villain it would make sense to move on.
Sam is going to save the day and Eric is going to save Sookie that I’m sure of!
I don’t want the season to end but I’m looking forward to what they’ll do in the finale! I hope you recap next season McWeanis you’ve done an awesome job!
i forgot to mention that the Crazy Elder’s dance looked like a shitty contemporary solo from so you think you can dance.
Tara’s “keep your laws off my body” pissed me off. Any of the lost feminist tribe will know what I mean. It sounded like a young writer told an even younger intern to go find some Roe v. Wade quote that they could pithily apply to the baby vamp production mandate. UGH.
And when did get violence become more compelling than sex? Bring back the rapacious Erik the Viking, please…
I don’t have any spoilers, but…this is season 5, right? Per Terrence Winter, that is the season where you shockingly kill off a major character. (Of course, the rat bastard did it in the second season of Boardwalk Empire.) So hope springs eternal that idiot Bill will finally get staked.
I know that’s why people started tuning in…the sex…why have they deviated from this?
I heard that Alan Ball didn’t write this season. Is this why we were introduced to the Sangunista? Normally the season follows the books a bit, this season has gone all the way rouge!
Honey, speak for yourself – I care about Alcide…I would care about him so hard, he would see stars! LOL!. Thanks for the picture…
classy, I am with you. I am not sure I am feeling all the bloody blood on this show. It is definitely off pace from the books.