Anyway, the history lesson was just foreplay. Her seduction strategy? Flattery, which Bill is on to, but eventually succumbs to. She admires his heart and idealism, rare among vamps. She wants to help him. Blah dee blah. They bone.
It’s really grunty and arhythmic.
Time for seduction number two. Really? (First is the worst, second is the best!) Poor Eric. He’s like a million years older but still gets sloppy seconds. Salome also tries flattery on Eric – this time through his maker, Godric. Eric’s considerably more suspicious of the mentions of Godric and Nora; Salome’s keeping the secret of their siblinghood – for now. She tries a different tack; she knows he’s been wounded. emotionally. and such. The conversational seduction pretty much fails, so she just lies naked on the bed and he comes to bone her.
and looks really excited about it.
While Bill and Eric are taking their pleasure, Nora is getting tortured about her sanguinista loyalties. She finally confesses.. but is it true? Or is she just taking the fall?
Bill and Eric later have an awkward talk about banging Salome. Bill gets to feel superior about getting first pick. I HATE when Bill gets to feel superior. The Guardian, meanwhile, goes to check in on Salome’s insextigations. She thinks she can trust them – not Sanguinista. “Mr. Compton is still looking for something to believe in, Mr. Northman only believes in himself.” The Guardian’s not quite trusting, since he’s fresh off of Nora’s traitorous confession.
Salome turns out to be not that gung ho about mainstreaming (which is apparently responsible for uprisings in the middle east.) Only for the Guardian’s protection, though, or so she says. She goes for round three with the Guardian. My god. Do vampires make sperms? Does she tighten up real quick again? That’s a lot for one day. Did she really need to have sex with all three of them? Like, strategically? Does she have a lie detector in her vag?
Jason & Jessica, Also Off Doing Unrelated Stuff
Jason’s at the grocery store, and he meets an old teacher. He seduces her with pickles. They bone. Same old same old. Oh wait, not, because it turns out this was Jason’s first, who took advantage of him when she was his teacher at some unspecified age which I am praying was at least 16 but was almost certainly not. Before the boning, Jason’s celebrating what they had and how the teacher taught him the only thing he’s good at. He laments his love history… his fuck buddy teenage vampire, preceded by a murdered girlfriend, a gay preacher’s wife and a were panther.
After the boning, Jason’s got that empty look all of us who make bad sexual decisions are familiar with.
just like looking in the mirror every sunday morning. (i’m the girl)
He takes back what he said before – everything they did was a mistake – and takes off, taking the teacher from post-coital dizzy happiness to shame and disappointment in thirty seconds.
Meanwhile, Jessica is shopping (with her “daddy’s” credit card) for a dress to impress Jason. The clerk tells her she doesn’t need to try that hard: “God gave that boy a penis and a brain and only enough blood to run one at a time.” Jessica accurately detects that the ‘concern’ is really an expression of the other girl’s jealousy- she boned Jason and got dumped. Take that!
While Jessica is in the dressing room, a foreigner comes in to pick up an order for his sixteen sisters.
he’s a little beaky. but i guess he smells nice.
Jessica falls all over herself: “You smell awesome, what are you?” When he sees her fangs, he runs off. Sixteen sisters, that’s gotta be a hint, right? A quick google search turned up everything from covens to Franciscan nuns. Jessica follows his car, but it ends up abandoned in the woods.
All horn-dogged up from the new scent, Jessica comes to Jason’s door to get some second string loving. Unfortunately for her, he’s in no mood. “I’ve got this big fucking hole in men I’ve been trying to fill with sex.” Haven’t we been over this ground before? Sex isn’t enough? “I can’t be friends with a girl. I don’t know how.” Jessica’s going to put on some sweats and put her boobs away and listen to Jason’s day. Awww.