True Blood Recap: Resolution/Revolution

True Blood

By McWeanis | Wednesday, August 8, 2012 | 6:00 am | 7 Comments
Posted in: Recaps, True Blood

Do pigs just eat people when offered them alive? Is that a thing? Luckily for Sookie, one of the pigs is actually Sam. As Sam naked-fights them the hicks (and one of them unnecessarily videotapes for a really long time before joining the fight… what is the point of that? The video will leak and reveal shifters, or really awesome photoshopping?), Andy and Jason storm in to save the day.

The big fat scary lady, who, it turns out, is actually the dragon, runs off into the night. She’s chased by Luna, who is now a dog, and proceeds to beat the crap out of her.

weren’t you dying of gunshots and human-shifting and various other things last week? oh, that’s unresolved?

Hoyt’s super injured and carried off to the hospital. Where is Jess to save him???

 Once Sookie’s back home, she gets a visit from a few Claude-s. They are bearing comfort and soup. I like free soup as much as the next girl, but arent they supposed to be hiding from the rampaging vampires? Isn’t that the whole point of the secret strip club?

THE KICKER AHHHH

We see Russell and Steve having a sexy nighttime walk, talking about his werewolf collection – all the wolves he’s domesticated with his blood. They walk in to a barn, to see JD and celebrate him on packmastering. Let the pathetic bloodlapping of Russell commence.

Only one pack member abstains – Martha. And she has Emma in her arms. (Why is Emma always a wolf? Is she hiding or can she not control it?) To punish Martha, Russell TAKES EMMA AND GIVES HER TO STEVE AS A PET!!! OMFG!!!! EMMAS GOING TO BE A V CRACKHEAD! LUNA IS GOING TO LOSE HER SHIT AND PROBABLY DIE! ALL STORYLINES WILL UNITE EXCEPT FOR TERRYS WHICH WAS DUMB BUT AT LEAST SEEMS TO BE OVER!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 

 

 

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McWeanis
About

first thing's first: the origin of "mcweanis."

It is not because I have a giant weanis (look it up) although it is usually unusually bulbous and crusty.

it is in fact because as a child i was dubbed Weanie (it rhymes with my first name, because i'm awesomely named)  by my older sister Drunk, which my friends co-opted and which eventually evolved into weanis and finally mcweanis or MC weanis depending on how gangster i am at the time.

i am a huge nerd of all kinds, especially tv, books, and school. i'll be going to harvard law school in the fall cause i'm so SCHMANCY! i plan to put my excellent time management skills to work in balancing my courseload and my must-watch-tv-load.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 7:32 am

    Steve’s homosexuality seemed to come out of nowhere and become a convenient plot point, but what would be an interesting twist is if his thirst for power would supercede his flexible sexuality. We know Steve loves power more than anything and being RE’s boy toy would come with some hefty perks. I’m looking forward to the eventual Steve/RE double-cross because it is so clearly going to happen.

    I do like the fact that they touched on the fact that Tara is still ignoring texts from Sookie and Lafayette. In another storyline that would make logical sense, why not have Tara and Pam eventually fall in love? We know Tara dabbled in lesbianism when she joined the fight club and Pam is gay, so why don’t they start to find their way to each other? I always thought that was where the story was going to go, but I feel that is a beat that has been dropped.

    Sweetie running in the bunny slippers and red kimono from a chasing Luna was the best scene of the season. It was pure comedy and both actresses were committed to the ridiculousness of the situation.

    So glad the Ifrit story is over.

  2. 2
    CynTV CynTV
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 7:47 am

    Great recap, McW. I found the multiple storylines irritating as well.

    “Dead folk! Why ya’all gotta be so cryptic? It ain’t cute!” I loves me some LaFayette. Nelsan needs an Emmy.

    Why couldn’t Sookie zap her bonds? Her powers are gone that quickly??

    And we need more naked men. Bring Alcide’s butt back! He’s not the greatest actor but the rippling muscles make up for it..

  3. 3
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 9:26 am

    I don’t think Steve’s homosexuality came out of nowhere. There were plenty of hints when Jason was with his group that he was closeted. He was always interested in Jason and the Newlin marriage was established as sexless by the time Jason fooled around with Sarah so him coming back as a gay vampire made complete sense. Plus, the closeted televangelist stereotype is totally in Alan Ball’s wheelhouse. I’m sure the actor was playing Steve as closeted even when the character was still alive.

    Pam, on the other hand, is bisexual but clearly and utterly in love with Eric. That’s where her loyalty will always lie. Pam/Tara as a couple is more likely a next season storyline, if it happens at all. This season was about Tara accepting her new fat and Pam pining for Eric.

    As for Alcide, the Shreveport pack is a new pack for him. He was raised in the Jackson pack. But if my old nature special viewing is still accurate, the Shreveport pack wanted him to become packmaster because he killed Marcus and that would indicate that he’s the new alpha. But even when they were all in Mississippi he said he’d left his pack voluntarily and has always been more of a “lone wolf.” Debbie’s the one who wanted a pack.

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 10:14 am

    I thought the exact same thing McW, “Pigs eat people?”

    Good work explaining Vallegirl, I am in the middle of the tenth book (I think), so I am getting my story lines mixed up and so this was helpful in straightening them out.

  5. 5
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    @Vallegirl, call me stupid, but I honestly never really picked up on the subtext of Steve being in the closet back in Season 2. But your explanation makes perfect sense.

  6. 6
    jessicad519
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 11:04 am

    Why can’t it be Sunday again?

  7. 7
    iwantadventure
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    I loved this episode!!!

    I could not be happier the Terry/Patrick storyline is over. My sister actually liked it and tried to talk about it with me and I basically said, “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn”, except not in so many words.

    Lafayette was in fine form in this episode!

    I’m a little disappointed you didn’t include the fight between Luna and Sam. The plot point of her dying wasn’t dropped, she was never actually dying, SkinnWalking is very stressful on the body and Sam even says his brother died from it but Luna points out Tommy was beaten to death. It was also significant because once again Sam insisted Luna sit pretty while he handled the Obamas. Not only did Luna not take that nicely but it led to the most spectacular and funny declarations of love possibly ever! It’s rare to call someone annoying and sexist in the same debate the person tells you they’re protecting you and they live you.

    I loved the flashback but I wonder what’s the point of choosing Pack if it has led to both father and son being abjured.

    Jason was also in fine firm with his dopey comment about the masks and telling Andy what an awesome cop he is!

    I also didn’t understand why Elijah was all of the sudden in charge of Fangtasia, I was under the impression it belonged to Eric. Hopefully he gets staked soon and Eric will return.

    Makers don’t usually sleep with their children once they’ve made them, though children will sleep with other siblings. I’d be surprised if they put Tara and Pam together like that, as Pam pointed out just because they fed on a bitch together doesn’t make them friends. There’s no love there and I’d be surprised if they turned them into a couple, that is not something I’d be a fan of because Pam is so awesome and Tara is so annoying.

    All I have to say about Bill is he’s a tool. I don’t care if he has some unknown secret motives and is really playing both sides, he is no Severus Snape (hehe!). Actually he’s no Harry Potter either, being Salome’s Chosen One and all. He loves the attention and that makes it bad no matter what. I hope he gets his time in the sun…See what I did there?! lol!

    I loved the song at the end and was randomly shouting at various times during the week since.

    OMG Moment: Did anyone rewind the previews for the next few episodes (WAHHH) and then pause it various points?! Because I totally did and I caught Jessica and Jason in a the dirt together, cuddling…baby vamp and maker-style O.o What is the meaning of this?!?!?!

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