True Blood: Save Yourself… From This Episode


By McWeanis | | 7:17 pm | 23 Comments
Posted in: Recaps, True Blood

Wow! That was a really stupid finale and didn’t resolve anything! I actually watched it live, which may have  put its shittiness into sharper relief.

Russell is killed in the first minute, despite being perhaps the best character on the show.

no more of this?????????

All that lead up, not killing him in the first place, bringing him back from being trapped, his awesome relationship with Steve and obsession with daywalking, and he’s just dead out of nowhere? Really? And Eric can just appear and snap his neck, no problem? I was really hoping there would be an awesome storyline about the temptations of the daylight to vampires, like that magic ring Angel and Spike fought over on Buffy.

Eric makes Nora promise she won’t hurt Sookie, even though she smells reallll good. After Russell is dead, Sookie runs out to Jason, who has been blasted in the head by faery light. When he wakes up, he’s started hallucinating his dead parents. !!! The ghost parents NOT happy with all the fangers drifting around their old family home. They’re kind of dicks, actually, and encouraging Jason’s new anti-supe dogma. Damnit! Have you learned nothing from the Newlins and Obamas? Fundamentalism is bad!

Eric’s goes back to Fangtasia, where Tara lets him know the Authority has Pam. Of course, between Pam and his brief boyfriend Bill, Eric has to go back to the Authority. Sookie’s going in to help alleviate Bill’s crazy, and Jason’s coming too… really just so he can kill Authority vampires per his imaginary daddy’s suggestion.

Meanwhile, in the Authority dungeon where it seems everyone has had a turn, Jess is trying to explain the extreme craziness of Bill and Eric. Pam won’t believe it of Eric, of course, and she’s right.

Sookie and Jason go to the vampire killing store – you know, the one where Junior used to work. Jason gathers weapons, while encouraged by his imaginary ghost mom; Sookie protests ineffectually.

Jason and Sookie drive to the Authority, Jason still chatting with invisible parents. The topic? Whether you can really know someone or not. And whether Jason loves unavailable girls. And whether the Stackhouses are really the problem with their low standards. The imaginary parents are feeding Jason’s negativity. My suspicion: Warlow, who somehow has the ability to get faeries to sell their great-grandchildren and to weirdly appear in the air in Sookie’s bathroom, also has something to do with the sudden appearance of the dead parents, if it’s really them at all.

Salome asks Bill where the black Chancellor has gone. As you may remember, Bill cut off his head last week, which he admits to Salome. He also admits to Salome that Lilith visited him, but lies about the message: we know Lilith told him he was the chosen one, but Bill tells Salome that Lilith came to him to ask him to protect her as the true chosen one. Then, they bone.

McWeanis
About

first thing's first: the origin of "mcweanis."

It is not because I have a giant weanis (look it up) although it is usually unusually bulbous and crusty.

it is in fact because as a child i was dubbed Weanie (it rhymes with my first name, because i'm awesomely named)  by my older sister Drunk, which my friends co-opted and which eventually evolved into weanis and finally mcweanis or MC weanis depending on how gangster i am at the time.

i am a huge nerd of all kinds, especially tv, books, and school. i'll be going to harvard law school in the fall cause i'm so SCHMANCY! i plan to put my excellent time management skills to work in balancing my courseload and my must-watch-tv-load.

23 Comments

  1. 1
    annie Annie
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    I totally 100% agree. what a worthless finale. They aren’t even trying anymore. And Alan Ball did an interview with NPR last week…..this was his last season and will not be coming back. Hmmmm

    DONT care about Alcide’s pack, DONT care about Andy’s Fairy Baby Mama Drama, and, Russell died in the first 5 minutes? what…the….eff? Sigh, at least Breaking Bad is picking up the slack on Sundays.

    On another note: awesome photos, that’s some HD quality!!!!

  2. 2
    fatcamp Dan T.
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    Someone may have pointed this out, but there was a chopstick vamp death in Angel too. Harmony killed her rival secretary with chopsticks in season 5! Less feasible than a pencil (which was actually what Arlene had in her hair). But Willow also killed a vamp with pencil telekinesis in Buffy. Just had to say something.

  3. 3
    Pink Lemonade
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    Just a question re Rosalyn’s death by Sam the fly; since there was no wood or fire or silver involved won’t she regenerate?

  4. 4
    Jawn
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    Carol?! Where’d you get that from? It’s Jane Bodehouse, of course.

  5. 5
    Some guy
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    The whole season about who killed Jason’s parents and we still don’t know. Not a good true blood season. A lot of time invested in season and no pay off. WTF

  6. 6
    lindaw205
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 12:37 am

    I think the whole season was just one big setup for next season, which I suspect will be the series finale. AB has said he will still remain very much involved next year, which is too bad because I was hoping the new show runners would do away with some of the extraneous plot lines and bring the focus back on the main characters.

    But I’ll be very surprised if they don’t wrap up the show next year.

  7. 7
    iwantadventure
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 12:41 am

    It has been known that Alan Ball will no longer be show runner, he is still a part of the show, just in a lesser capacity and there will be some new writers, new blood.

    Russell was so high off faerie blood and so set on eating the other faeries he barely registered Eric’s presence, plus the ENTIRE point was for Eric to get his revenge.
    I agree that nothing was resolved but I think that was expected, it was obvious that the Authority would be obliterated among other things that served no purpose. This season was a filler season. Lots of setup, lots of loose ends left to tie up, so I disagree, I don’t think it was that terrible. The plots were not nearly as good as other seasons but the dialogue was more memorable than ever. The sex was seriously lacking but it looks like Nora will be around for a bit longer and she seems to like to faeries so maybe she’ll control herself and end up with Claude. Anyway, I won’t go tit for tat on why I actually liked some of the scenes you commented on, they made sense to me and I actually enjoyed the episode, even cheered when Bill goo dropped all over the floor and would have lived for them to keep it that way. As far as Bill goes I think he is Lilith of Billith now. Everyone will be able to see him and he can do what Lilith bids…Maybe Lafayette can cast her out, IDK I have a number of theorirs but everyone seems a bit put off so I won’t discuss it. Most importantly I think you all would benefit from seeing this bonus footage that was featured at the end of the episode on the HBO GO app or HBOGO.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRv82NjVNrk&feature=youtube_gdata_player because we do see everyone in the elevator again and Warlow is mentioned and someone in that elevator knows who he is, which like I said is going to be the entire focus of season six…Just watch the video. Anyway, can’t wait for next season!

  8. 8
    iwantadventure
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 1:02 am

    @lindaw205 I don’t think it’s going to end next season. Mark Hudis from Nurse Jackie is taking over as show runner and Ball has said that as long as the fans keep tuning in they’ll stay on.

    I would like to point put that Most shows on HBO don’t go past season six and even though Charlaine Harris is completing The Southern Vampire series this coming May (despite the fact that the show doesn’t follow the books) doesn’t mean they’ve run out of ideas. Alan Ball is stepping down not because he’s burnt out but because he’s working on a new show called Banshee which I think is going to be on Cinemax…True Blood has veered off track before (Bill getting kidnapped anyone? Sookie being gone for a year?) but it eventually finds its way back, I think fans need to learn some patience, series have bad seasons, it happens, people have bad years but it doesn’t mean it’s the be all end all! There is far worse TV out there so I don’t understand why people are so quick to write the things they like [\rant] Sorry, I just don’t understand where all this anamosity is coming from…They fucked up! Thanks to things like Twitter they can hear us, what they decide to do with the messages we send shows us how they really feel about their fans. So instead of everyone bitching because Alan Ball is moving on which must mean the end of the show, perhaps everyone should take a deep breath and see what happens next summer and if you’re THAT turned off then don’t tune in.

  9. 9
    lindaw205
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 2:02 am

    I actually liked the season finale but wish the rest of the season had been that interesting. I’m just getting a “vibe” that TPTB seem to have given up on it and feel that the show was all over the place until this last episode. Too many stories, too many characters. I would love it if they can clean things up and bounce back next year and really hope that can happen without AB’s interference. They’ve got the setup for a great next season. And if I didn’t make myself clear, I’m glad AB is gone and am interested to see if the show can return to it’s former glory.

  10. 10
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 4:20 am

    They really could go back and follow some of the story lines in the books. That’s why people began watching in the first place.

    It doesn’t have to be 100% like the books, but loosely based would be nice.

  11. 11
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 4:23 am

    @iwantadventure – I want to hear your theories! I actually liked the episode **ducks**

    I liked Eric the hero. And, a lot of other characters had good lines. Yeah, some storylines were lame. I just ignored them.

  12. 12
    SuburBint
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 5:52 am

    Can we all please agree to stop mentioning things that happened on Buffy in light of this show? It’s just too, too depressing.

    Fuck you, Alan Ball. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, by whom I mean Charlaine Harris, who can’t write her way out of a wet paper bag but at least came up with these characters so for a while there I was willing to give her a pass.

    Remember way back in 2009 when the show was still surprising in awesome, exciting ways? Good times.

  13. 13
    lindaw205
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 7:29 am

    SuperB, I couldn’t agree more. The books are so poorly written but the characters are great. I mourn for the True Blood that could have been. Maybe next year……that’s what I say every year, though.

    I liked Eric the hero, too.

  14. 14
    Whedonite
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 7:56 am

    So, obviously I’m barking up the wrong tree here, but…

    I really enjoy “True Blood”. I know it’s bad. I know it’s silly. But “good” and “enjoyable” can be too very different things.

    I like the cheesiness, and the ridiculous sub-plots. It’s a guilty pleasure; just an overdramatic, supernatural soap opera. (One guy I know who watches it refers to it as “my stories”.)

    I mean, I understand if people just hate tuning into it. But can’t it not be good and still be fun? Was I the only one who had a total blast watching the peanut gallery of Jane, Arlene, and Lafayette all hanging out drunk and talking about how ridiculous this all is? And Luna playing Steve was so awkwardly hilarious for me.

    You know, I’ve got my “Mad Men” and my “Game of Thrones” for when I want to watch solid writing and *good* television. But, for me, “True Blood” is for when I want to turn my brain off and watch a shapeshifter explode a vampire from the inside.

  15. 15
    iwantadventure
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    OMG I’m not alonneee! lol! Here I was thinking maybe I’m so shrouding my adoration for these characters that I can’t possibly let anything be wrong with it because that would make the show bad. Glad that’s not the case though.

    I think this season was all over the place and I do feel like there were a lot of pointless plot lines, however, I feel like the show knows that. It’s campy and it’s funny and it knows that’s how it’s supposed to be. The show is always looking for new ways to poke fun at itself and I must say it’s effective. I’ve always laughed more than I’ve gasped at True Blood and the writers know this. Several times this season to the best of my memory we’ve been brought right into the action as spectators. I think it’s important that we are not just extensions of the show but a part of it. When the faeries watched the Elder Faerie and Russell they were ooohing and aahhing with us. In the finale we were in the bar with the humans left on the show, Lafayette is like the flamboyantly awesome voice of the audience. Even Jess does things like that, like her reaction when Pam and Tara kissed. Also, True Blood isn’t always plot driven, this season was very character driven. We got to see a darker side of Alcide and next season we’ll get to see him as a leader. We got to see the true lengths Bill will go to attain enternal power, since he already has immortality. We got to see a hardened Jason who doesn’t want to use sex as an escape for feelings. These characters are growing and changing and sometimes you to put plot to the wayside to clearly see these changes. It’s not like a book where the narrator can get inside a characters’ head we have to be shown these changes. I think we got to know everyone a little, which is interesting because now we think we know what to expect from them so now is the time to spring surprises on us! I always end up writing such long posts here lol! May e I’ll share some of my theories later

  16. 16
    carol
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    I’m wondering if the fact that the Mirella had multiple means that Sookie was a multiple. Also, how is Sookie a fairy (or part fairy)? Is it just a totally random thing? Are Andy’s four babies all going to be fairies?

    This episode wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t a good ending to the season. It just proved how short this season really was in terms of developing the many different stories. I still don’t understand the whole point of the Terri thing. Was it to show that ghosts/spirits also exist?

    I hope it’s not just me, but I really hope Bill will just die already. Both the character and the actor bug me. It doesn’t help he has to play off of Eric. But what is the point of Bill? I think Sookie is to the point where if Bill died she would be fine with it.

  17. 17
    iwantadventure
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    OMG we should start a kill Bill campaign…I totally agree, he’s a tool and annoying and Jess doesn’t even like him anymore.

    I never thought that about Sookie but it’s kind of an anomaly since she’s barely part faerie because she’s distantly related to the full faerie in her family. Mueralls’s babies are completely half-faerie half-human so maybe we’re about to see something completely different?

    I don’t understand the point of the ifrit either, we’ve seen characters cursed before and it was so far removed the overall plot.

    Speaking of theories I’m wondering what the consequences are for SkinnWalking as a vampire. I hope they don’t kill Luna, Sam worked so hard to bring the family together again.

    I’m also curious about Jason seeing his parents, he did hit a tree and Sookie said he had a bump the size of a walnut but I feel like Jason seeing them has something to do with the Elder Faerie zapping him because she was trying to send Russell to a different universe or something.

    I’m not sure Warlow is a vampire or some kind of faerie/vampire hybrid but it should be interesting what we find out.

    As far as Bill goes I can’t decide if him drinking the blood brought Lilith into existence or if Lilith was always real…Bill is definitely in a more primal place and it should be interesting for what that means for everyone else, the only Authority left is Steve…Will he worship Bill or will he take out a vendetta against Eric for killing Russell?!

    And finally I was shocked Nora made it through the finale but since she’ll be around I would like to see her with Eric as opposed to Eric and Sookie again, honestly think Sookie should hookup with a faerie.

    Okay I am totally clogging the comments…I’ll go over there now…

  18. 18
    carol
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    as much as this season was blah, at least they did NOT turn Jason into a vampire. That for me would have been jumping over the shark. High point of this season, all the Pam. Especially Pam in the Walmart sweatsuit. I’m not a fan of Tara, but she is a lot better when Pam is around.

    @iwantadventure – good point about Jason. I wonder if he can see dead people now, or their spirits. It would make sense that their parents would hang around and hate vampires. If he could see dead people (vampires are a gray area), that might be a way for them to bring back Hoyt next season. He could be like Jason’s sidekick that only Jason can see or talk-to. I have no clue if Hoyt dies/comes back/is gone for good/etc, but back in season 1 & 2 they always played off each other really well.

  19. 19
    iwantadventure
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    Jim Parrack left the show but I think the reason Hoyt didn’t get killed off is because if they do decide to bring him back Sookie can get through glamoring. I think it’s ironic that Jason can see his parents because he was jealous of Sookie’s powers and her getting to see Gran again or something like that. The thing is it’s difficult to tell if the hallucinations are agreeing with Jason because that’s how they really feel or they’re manifestations of Jason’s current feelings toward Supes. I’m glad they turn him into a vamp either, that would just be tactless. I’m surprised Jason hasn’t just passed out, he revcieved a nasty shock, hit a tree, hit the ground and somehow woke up basically unscathed…You’d think he’d at least need some V to heal, not that he would take it if he did. Obviously this is all tied into Warlow and then maybe after Jason gets some closure he can give a relationship with Jess a real chance!

  20. 20
    DirtyWhoreMouth DirtyWhoreMouth
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 7:27 am

    Not a fan of Billith and WTF with Pam and Tara? Um… wait til Lafayette hears about this one.

  21. 21
    Guest
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 12:03 pm
  22. 22
    Guestopolis
    Posted September 3, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    It’s not Bill or Lillith……it’s Billith now!

  23. 23
    thatdariamom1332
    Posted September 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    I quit True Blood.

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