Eric and Nora drive back to the Authority, with Tara, Sookie and Jason in the back disguised as lunch. They get all armed up in the elevator; I bet Jason is going to be killed SO FAST. I wonder, are those spirits in some way real? We’ve seen stranger things obviously.
the expendables.. just kidding, just nora
Oh wow, I was wrong. Jason takes out Chelsea and several guard vampires real quick. (I hate that vampire superspeed is so inconsistent! They can go miles in seconds but not dodge a bullet?) Chelsea manages to hit the panic button first, though, and the Authority building goes into some kind of lockdown mood.
Sookie and Tara go down to rescue Pam and Jessica, while Eric and Nora disable the security system.
Oh look, something really dumb happened. When Pam is released, she and Tara start making out. This is going to be some dumb weird Night Porter-esque relationship. (Anyone who mentions a certain mega-overrated/over-read book in the comments will be shamed. Look up the Night Porter instead.) The violins even start swelling when they kiss. Blegh. I much prefer the mom/daughter or sassy sisters relationship.
is that a shiny earring or a tiny jumping shark?
Jessica and Jason have a not-so-romantic reunion; Jason rejects her for being a vamp. Aww. Everyone else is all happily reunited and getting into one elevator. I bet that whole elevator is going to get fried. Or Jason’s going to kill all the vamp’s in the elevator. (Oh nope, we just don’t see anyof those characters again.) Sookie and Eric stay behind to go get Bill.
Salome’s getting ready to drink the rest of Lilith’s blood, and she’s really rubbing it in to Bill. “She wants the strongest…” Bill actually goes ahead and lets Salome drink all the blood.
As I suspected, he has poisoned it. While Salome stumbles around vomiting from the silver Bill put in the blood, Bill takes his turn at rubbing it in. She was stupid, sucks at predicting her adversaries (Russell: true!), etc. Also, it wasn’t Lilith blood at all. Aww poor Salome. Death of a dumb boring villain. Waste of a character, just like Roman. Bill doesn’t even wait for the poison to finish, he just stakes her.
Of course, right then, before Bill can drink the REAL Lilith blood, Sookie and Eric come in.
Sookie: “This isn’t you.” Bill: “What the fuck do you know about me? For all I know, everything I did with you was an act!” Oooh burn. Bill calls her an abomination. Sookie gets all emotional and cries talking about how special Bill is, and how he has a heart unlike other vamps, and so forth. I stop listening. Then Bill has a really boring speech about living in fear. Eww bad couple acting! HATE.
Bill drinks all the blood. Then he dies and melts into guts. Okay? Then the pool of blood starts gathering again, and a new Bill rises, naked and bloody.