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Sidetrack: Alcide and his dad arguing about how to hunt and cook things. I’m not really listening. Great, more story lines: Martha has brought Ricky to visit Alcide’s; she’s now crazy: JD has force fed all the members of the pack vampire blood. Ricky might be ODing. She’s as red as Lilith.
Back in JD’s pack, he’s torturing vamps and feeding their blood to the pack. Alcide storms in to be a hero, obviously. He wasn’t strong enough last time, but this time he has the aid of his dad’s extra special vamp blood steroids. Alcide rips JD apart, killing his second pack master now. Hmm, Alcide got what he wanted… but will he be addicted to the V now? He says not, but where the fuck is his storyline going then?
Lafayette has made special party margaritas for Holly and Arlene. He’s so precious! They’re celebrating Sam’s absence with drinking and booty shaking.
Andy and super pregnant Mirella come in to Merlotte’s to bust up the party. He’s got to break the big infidelity/pregnancy thing. Holly gets a little taste of that when a drunk lady at the bar, Carol, (the one Andy used to bone when that crazy sex goddess was in control) claims Andy and her boned. Holly’s hurt by that, but even more (obviously)when Andy breaks the Mirella news. As soon as Andy asks for a moment alone, Holy knows what’s up: “Who and how many times?” (Mirella is meanwhile in the background downing salt).
Andy has just broken the news when Mirella’s “light” breaks.
Mirella’s pretty much having an orgasm as she gives birth; this is her 73rd pregnancy. Lafayette, Arlene and drunk lady look on in fascination. Poor Holly: ”I can’t believe I’m midwifing for your pregnant girlfriend!”
girl, so say we all.
Finally, a perfectly, clean, healthy, umbilical cordless baby comes out.
Carol sums it up when she says “Hehe! I Have no idea what’s happening!” Just then the light begins to glow again… Twins? Maybe Danny DeVito will come out!
Actually, it’s four babies. After Mirella gives birth, she gets up to go. The babies are Andy’s responsibility now! Any dreams that Holly will joyfully adopt the quadruplets along with Andy are pretty much put to rest as she walks away. My prediction: magical Twilight babies that age really fast. Although I guess Sookie didn’t age extra fast, and she’s half faery. WTF was Mirella talking about with the light pact being made whole?
Okay, so this finale sucked in my opinion. Nothing was resolved. What was the point of everything with Alcide? Or Mirella? Or Russell? Or all the stupid Authority vamps we had to get to know? Bleearghh. We don’t even know anything more about Warlow.