By the way, can Eric and Bill not sense that she’s in danger? Do they not care? That used to be such a big thing..
Andy shows up to take care of the crime scene, but with vamps running around murdering people, there’s not going to be much of an investigation. Basically, no one cares. All those seasons of Sookie begging for crimes against vamps to be taken seriously have come to naught. Andy and Sookie take a moment to mourn coroner Mike.. until Sookie remembers that he wanted to suck her toes, and Andy remembers he kept his porn and his autopsy pics in the same file. Ewww.
Sookie’s heading over to live at Jason’s for protection. Jason finally gets to use his detective skills in following Gran’s instructions: stupid Sookie wasn’t supposed to look in the box of old crap, she was supposed to look under the loose floorboard where the ancient scroll is hidden! Duh!
Jason and Sookie take the scroll to a scholar, who concludes it’s not written in any human language. This leads him to believe it’s a hoax, and leads Jason and Sookie to the faeries.
The scroll is in a faerie language, but a real old one – older than the one hundred ish years the Claudes have been alive. (“How do you think we got so good at dancing?”) They need Mirella, a five hundred year old. AKA… Andy’s lover. AKA… she’s very pregnant. Yikes. Is this pregnancy from the tryst in the woods, or from when Andy came to visit the brothel?
So, the scroll is actually contract is between Sookie’s ancestors and Warlow. For some reason, Sookie’s ancestors sold her to a vampire! Ahh! Creepy! I wonder what they got in return??
Hoyt’s got a new chance at life, and he’s going to spend it… oil drilling in Alaska. This crushes his poor momma’s heart, who thought he was going to move back home.
Especially after she’s protected him from Jessica:
“Had to practically stand over your hospital bed to keep that Cheeto-headed tramp from giving you her blood.”
Looks like some supes are bonding together: When Jess shows up at Merlotte’s, the place empties out except for two hicks ready to shoot her. Sam and Lafayette come to the rescue! Woohoo!
They’re especially needed, since Jess’s guards split when they stopped getting paid. Bill! You’ve forgotten your chilluns! A minute later, Jason walks in, and then Hoyt. Looks like he called an awkward three-way meeting to tell them about the Alaska trip.
And… to ask for a special going away present. He wants Jess to glamour him, and Eternal Sunshine her out of his mind. Not just Jess. Jason too. I’ve always liked Hoyt, and this is a sad move, but I can’t help feeling it’s kind of pansy. Everyone else deals with their pain, jerk.
“We’re going to miss you so so much. But you’re not going to miss us. You’re going to go to Alaska, and you’re going to start a brand new life… you’re going to make some girl the happiest, luckiest girl in the world. And she’s going to be your first love. Not me. I’m fading away. I’m going.. going…”