I’m back and super excited to be spending the fall season with all of you talking about cray cray Ty Ty and the bajillioneth “cycle” of her show. I took a pleasant break over the summer to enjoy the outdoors and work on my own writing, but I couldn’t stay away from the beloved Gasm platform for too long. Did you all have a pleasant summer? I hope none of you find yourselves dehydrated from the terrible heat and drought.
Ah, who am I kidding? Even with the worst picture I can find of her on the internet, she’s still gorge. All she needs is a little foundation and she’s back to supermodel status. Beyatch.
Anyway, as I’m sure most of you know, our media mogul TYRAnt, decided that after the last fairly hum drum cycle of her show (a forerunner to the Brits’ success with the Olympics), she needed to shake things up. Short of firing herself (yes please!), she did the next best thing: fire everyone likeable on the show.
And so, before the first episode airs of this new version of ANTM, I thought it would be good to find out a little something about the replacements who will be filling the beloved shoes of Nigel Barker, Jay Manuel and Miss J.
One more thing before we get to the newbies. There is still one judge who somehow made the cut of the new show shake up.
America’s Next Superbitch.
I would just like to point out that the above picture was clearly part of an orchestrated photo shoot with professional make-up artists and yet Kelly Cutrone still looks like a haggard mom about to lay the smack down on her bratty children.
Should a woman who can’t take a good photo really be allowed to have influence in the decision of which models get to remain in a competition that could change their lives?
“Shut up, Luscious. My extensive career producing fashion shows,
PRing record magazines and tarot card readings
makes me more than qualified.
Even if I do look like death warmed over.”
Frankly, I find Kelly Cutrone intimidating. Maybe Tyra does too. Maybe that’s why the most unlikeable bitch in the universe is still on the show.
Anyway, joining our cranky hag judge this season will be Rob Evans and Johnny Wujek. Ever heard of them? Me neither.
Johnny Wujek is a stylist. As you can see.
His claim to fame is styling Katy Perry.
Johnny got a new job?
Yep, so Johnny would be replacing Jay I guess. He will be the expert in what not wear. I hope.