TVgasm Investigates: ANTM: Meet the New “Judges” & Other New Crap

Recaps

By Luscious | Sunday, August 19, 2012 | 2:19 pm | 9 Comments
Posted in: America's Next Top Model, Recaps

Rob Evans must be replacing Nigel Barker. He’s hot. He’s a Brit. He’s a model. Maybe Tyra felt Nigel was aging out and this man will serve as his young luscious replacement.

He comes from a long line of demi-Gods.

According to my research, with Miss J out, the “movement mentor” will now be Jonte. Apparently when Tyrant said she wanted to go in a new direction, she may have gotten lost and spun in circles.

Oh yes, light years different from our beloved Miss J.

Somewhere in this mix up is a new social media correspondent. I’m not sure what he’s supposed to do, but the position has been filled by Bryanboy, a fashion blogger who I suspect just wanted to be a model, so he started his own blog of him modeling clothes and somehow it’s working.

 

Broke-back styling.

In addition to all the new faces, there’s a whole other element to ANTM that still has me scratching my head. Apparently, fans of the show have had access to ALL the pictures of the contestants in real time as the photo shoots were conducted throughout the summer. They could vote on the photos that they liked best and this could potentially save a girl who might otherwise be sent home. Also there’s something about bringing girls back from the dead if their picture gets a lot of votes. I don’t really understand how it works and we’ll all have to pay close attention to Tyrant’s explanation at the start of the cycle. Hopefully it will make sense.

But don’t hold your breath.

So at this very moment, you can hunt down all the pics of all the girls in all the photo shoots. To eliminate spoilers, all the girls participate in all the shoots, so you don’t see who has already gotten the ax. I guess it’s good for the girls, as they’ll still get experience and the valuable lessons to be had at a photo shoot, but I imagine it would also be disheartening to have to continue to work when you know you are already out.

Tyra seems to have completely ignored the likeability quotient of tv that works. Since we don’t know these girls from Adam, we may vote for a great picture of a horrible girl and be saving the one girl we all wish would just shut up and leave already. To me the whole idea is bizarre, but I’m interested to see how it works.

By the way, in case you haven’t heard, this cycle’s theme is college girls. I’m looking forward to stimulating, intellectual, and witty repartee that this sort of crop of girls is sure to produce.

Are you ready for this season’s version of ANTM? The show will be in some very interesting hands . . .

 

Pages: 1 2 3
Luscious
About

Luscious just got back from a one year backpacking trip around the world with her husband (TVgasm fill-in specialist, The Professor). She spends her days writing, knitting and sewing. She's only good at one of those hobbies, not saying which.  Her secret dream is to write romance novels and have critics say her brilliance is wasted on such a pointless genre. Also, she'd like to create a pair of pajamas for her niece where the sleeves actually work.

9 Comments

  1. 1
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted August 19, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    So the only thing that made the show even remotely watchable the last four years is out. Fan-tas-tic. And I’m sure this had NOTHING to do with Tyra’s probable jealousy of the only people anyone actually liked on the show? Because she’s a GIVER, that one. Nope, no jealous narcissistic bitch there, that’s Naomi Campbell, not Tyra Banks. Tyra is a SAINT, I tell you, A SAINT to put up with all she does and still be better than all who bow before her.

    God, she is insufferable. The truth is they probably all quit because they just couldn’t stand it anymore. I love me some Kelly Cuttrone though. Seriously, that woman is golden to me….so why is she is working with Tyra? Hmmmm. I may have to reevaluate.

  2. 2
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted August 19, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    Kelly Cutthroat looks like an aged Sara Gilbert.

    I will miss Jay M. and Nigel…and probably will not watch this new, even more desperate version.

  3. 3
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted August 19, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    This is madness.
    Nobody even remotely recognizable in fashion?
    No Nigel? And his replacement isn’t nearly as hot.
    I CAN’T.

    My only comfort in all of this is that you’ll be recapping, Luscious. If it were almost anyone else, I’d just not watch anymore.

    Also, I kind of like that you vote before even meeting the girls. It forces you to vote on pure ability, instead of based on your feelings. I wonder how the abroad portion works though. Do all the girls get to go abroad now? Or are the shoots recreated in the states for the girls who don’t make it abroad?
    Tyra does too much.

  4. 4
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted August 20, 2012 at 8:19 am

    I love the J’s.

    I miss the J’s.

    I will not watch – I will only read the recaps. Wonder how long it will take for Tyra to realize that the declining ratings were not because of Nigel and the J’s? One whole ‘cycle’?

  5. 5
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 20, 2012 at 8:50 am

    To be honest, there has been somewhat of a revolving cast on this show every four cycles or so when Ty Ty realizes that the judging panel is getting more popular than she: Janice, Twiggy, Paulina, ALT (who I loved, even though “dreckitude” never caught on), so this, to me, is just a housecleaning to get the show within a certain budget to keep it on the air. By now, Nigel and the J’s have to be commanding a huge salary after being on for so many seasons. Let’s hope, though, that Miss J doesn’t have to make any more cameos on RHOA at Cynthia’s modeling school to stay somewhat relevant.

    @Luscious, so glad to have you back! Hope you had an enjoyable and relaxing summer and you’re ready to mock more Celebrity Apprentice contestants next season.

  6. 6
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 20, 2012 at 9:23 am

    The best part about all the firings: Nigel is now working on Naomi Campbell’s modeling show (I think it’s called “The Face”). There are no words for how awesome that is. :)

  7. 7
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted August 20, 2012 at 10:43 am

    ^ The shade of it all.

  8. 8
    MrsMiaWallace MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 20, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    Argh. I loved Mr. Jay and Nigel most of all! At first I was baffled and then I realized I am not the target demographic of this show.

    As obnoxious as Tyra is, I think this is probably the right move, the fact that I’ve never heard of these people and they seem obnoxious and attention-whorish as opposed to my refined wonderful friends of yore… means they will be more appealing to the 15-25 market which is basically the sweet spot for this show.

    Tyra’s book and other contrived ways to keep this show fresh all seemed juvenile and tacky to me… just like I outgrew Claire’s and Forever 21, I fear I need to accept that this show is behind me. The recaps however, right in my wheelhouse! Good luck, I’ll be reading!

  9. 9
    juddfan
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Thanks for breaking it down, Luscious. As MrsMia says, I doubt I’m the demo they are going for, but damn, I’ll be missing me some Nigel!!! And I hearted the J’s, esp Mrs. J . .. . she seemed the one able to navigate the Tryatides the best.

    Really, I just like to look at the photos and the photoshopping, and have a grrrls night with my friend watching. Guess I’ll try this one and see what I think . . .

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.