Jax and LL aren’t working that night, apparently, so they head to Takami, a rooftop sushi restaurant downtown. Fans of bathroom/public/televised sex that they are, they immediately head to the employee bathroom to have sex. How do I know it’s an employee bathroom? Because LL announces it as soon as they approach. Why LL’s “freak” behavior isn’t throwing off a million fucking warning bells in Jax’s head is the reason he will eventually knock up some crazy bitch and wind up on Jerry Springer before he’s 40.
They emerge all giggles and sit down to eat. I furiously try to visualize where that table is in the restaurant so I can avoid it for life, and they discuss their relationship. Well, I should say that LL discusses how happy she is in their relationship, and Jax thinks hard about how long he can go on enjoying sex with her and listen to her voice at the same time. It’s not good, y’all. LL goes on for about 20 minutes about how Jax is gorgeous, she can’t keep her hands off of him and how if someone had followed her around for the past five years listening to everything she’d wanted in a man, then gave Jax a list, he STILL couldn’t say more right things.
Can I get a “DAY-UM”?
Girl, YOU are not someone who can talk about following someone for five years listening to what they want in a relationship and not have people think that it’s something you may have done before… Jax interviews that LL is 100% into their relationship, but he’s not sure if he’s even 80%, 50% or really, any% in this for the relationship.
Uh-to the-oh. Anyone else smell rabbit soup?
At Lisa’s house, she meets with her publicist and talks about restaurant stuff that I (or, let’s be honest, WE) really don’t care about. There’s some kind of new menu coming, developed by some supposedly hot chef, but then Ken interrupts with the news that Jax and LL were caught having sex in the Sur bathroom and my ears a far more perked all of a sudden.
I AM ASHAMED.
Lisa interviews with as much fake conviction as she can muster (it ain’t much) that she’s simply horrified her employees would “f***” in the bathroom. Right after they clock in. Well, to be fair, it probably wasn’t right after they clocked in. It was probably toward the end of the shift after they’d been drinking all night. Oh, wait, I forgot. LL is “sober.” If only “sober” equaled “sane.”
Lisa’s publicist, in an effort to prove her usefulness remarks that AS Lisa’s publicist, it’s her duty to point out that servers having sex in the bathrooms “isn’t a good look.” I like that she pointed out she was saying this, “as [Lisa’s] publicist.” I assume that as her friend she’d be asking for details. I know I would be. Professionalism is all about relationship distinctions.