Vanderpump Rules Recap: Can I Get a DAY-UM?

Vanderpump Rules

By Alejandra | Friday, February 15, 2013 | 5:56 pm | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Vanderpump Rules

Commercial!

We return to Katie and Kristen at fucking spinning class, because everyone in LA is obsessed with fucking spinning and they all go to spin gyms that have shit like “ We came to fight sweat win thrive, etc.” on the walls, forgetting the fact that basically they are rooms in which people get angry and sweaty riding  bikes that go nowhere.  I understand the anger part.  Kristen interviews that there’s a lot of pressure to be the skinniest, hottest girl at Sur, so that’s probably why the staff works out five times a week.  I see that.  Gotta work off all the booze you pound at work somehow.

After class, she and Katie sit down to discuss the Stassituation since Vegas, and Katie reveals that HER request for an audience with Her Highness has been granted, but no such clemency was offered to Kristen.  I can’t imagine why Kristen wouldn’t be ecstatic about this, and to her credit, she seems to not give a shit that she might be free of a girl she probably didn’t like much anyway. 

Katie is hoping that Stassi will take responsibility for flying off the handle in regards to Katie’s reaction to Stassi’s new relationship with Frank, and I hope Katie has a Plan B.  I don’t get the feeling that Stassi much cares for “taking responsibility.”  As for why Stassi chose to see Kristen as opposed to Katie, Kristen snits bitterly that clearly that means that Stassi cares more about her relationship with Katie more than her relationship with Kristen.  Or you just hurt her more deeply, yelled at her at work more often and gleefully threw a party without her.  Could be that. 

Later, at work, LL and Jax get called in to discuss the sexident in the bathroom.  SCANDALOUS!  LL is quick to clarify that she and Jax had sex at TAKAMI, but not at Sur – NEVER Sur.  LL?  Not helping.  Jax and LL quickly and furiously deny everything to Lisa, then Jax interviews that they absolutely DID have sex in the bathroom.  But he’s sure as shit not getting fired over it.  Lisa interviews that SHE knows they had sex – THEY know she knows, but until she catches them in the act, what can she do?  She has to let it go.  Not really, California is an at-will state.  Lisa could fire them for looking at her the wrong way.  Granted, she might open herself up to a lawsuit, but only if Jax and LL are good friends with an employment attorney who’s willing to work pro-bono.  I call bullshit. 

Lisa asks LL to go, but keeps Jax to remind him that LL is literally unstable, and Jax is getting himself into something very serious.  Damn, you have to be pretty certifiable for your BOSS to warn your boyfriend about you.  Oh, wait – according to Jax he isn’t LL’s boyfriend!  Lisa scoffs that LL is emotionally invested in what they have going on, so whether Jax likes it or not, LL is his girlfriend.  Jax needs to take the “Seinfeld” test.  Are there tampons in your apartment/truck, Sir?

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About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

12 Comments

  1. 1
    patbsaid
    Posted February 16, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    Don’t you think “as Lisa’s publicist” would advise that it’s not a good look to TELEVISE that fact that two of your employees had sex in the bathroom?!

  2. 2
    patbsaid
    Posted February 16, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    Also, that’s Stassi’s dad, not stepdad. He’s the one who competed with her on the Amazing Race. Thouh, on AR Stassi’s step mom competed too. But now it looks like her mom and dad are back together? Confusing.

  3. 3
    Miss Molly
    Posted February 16, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    I spit laughed when Stassi’s Dad asked Frank if he was a Democrat. (yea – coz he don’t care if you are employed or a gigantic dickwad .. just so long as you are not a Democrat)

  4. 4
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted February 16, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    This show is even trashier than I expected. And I watch Shahs of Sunset. So you know I set the bar high.

  5. 5
    Whatever
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 6:39 am

    Yeah those were both Stassi’s biological parents. Maybe they’re just friendly after so many years divorced? But they did look quite comfortable. Her dad is an architect in New Orleans and last episode she said her mom lived in California. Her dad was a giant ass on the Amazing Race.

  6. 6
    NouveauPoor
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    “So sut up.”

    Hysterical.

  7. 7
    MrsRogerSterling
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 10:33 am

    Fun new drinking game! Take a shot every time Stassi says “literally”. You will be bombed before the first SUR empolyee tells us how good looking they all are!

  8. 8
    labowner
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 9:55 am

    Let’s hope someone has gotten inside Stassi’s pants and tied her tubes. You would think she would be a better human being, but then you meet her drunk and let’s rip on our daughter parents and I see where her attitude comes from.

  9. 9
    Maggs
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 10:23 am

    did you see the previews for next week? That LL saying she had unprotected sex with Jax and then Jax having to tell Stassi some bad news? my bet is LL is knocked up, or tells him she’s knocked up to keep him and F up his getting back with Stassi

  10. 10
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 11:14 am

    Jax looovvvesss him some damaged women doesn’t he.
    What. A. Tool.

  11. 11
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 11:58 am

    IS THIS REAL LIFE???

  12. 12
    Miss Delight
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 1:53 pm

    A. “So sut up.”
    B. “An orange peanut? For me?!”

    These two gems put you in the “Best recap of any show I’ve read all year” category.

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