The two head to lunch with her mom and stepdad, and Stassi seems to have worried for naught. Her parents have polished off half of a bottle of vodka before she and Frank even arrived, so everyone’s in a great mood and don’t mind it when Frank announces that his backup plan for life in LA is, wait for it, commercial real estate! The only employment market more saturated than acting! I will say, despite (or because of) their drunkenness, Stassi’s parents are AWESOME. Frank mentions that he was warned that Stassi had “pretty girl syndrome” when they first started dating. Hilariously, her mom and stepdad both are all, “Oh yeah, she didn’t always have that,” to the point where her stepdad blurts out unapologetically that, “She was homely in high school.” Cue “Amazing Race Family Edition” pictures.
Stassi takes it on the chin like a champ (pun intended – y’all heard about the chin implant), and I like her more because of her awesome, drunken, truthful family. They need a show. It’d be Bravo’s answer to “Honey Boo Boo.” I mean, Stassi’s stepdad carries around a flask. With a gun on it. With Stassi’s picture RUBBERBANDED to it. And when he drinks from it, he thinks, “One for me, one for my homegirl.”
Unfortunately, the episode doesn’t end on the high note that is Stassi’s family, so we still have about 15 minutes to go. The intercut is all about Ken buying a pink… old car (I don’t know cars – anyone want to identify that one for me?), painting Sur on the side and taking a bunch of people for a joyride. I fucking love that man.
After the break, the kids head to Home for lunch. Holy shit, all these people do is go to my favorite restaurants. Home is near The Alcove and it is AMAZING. Go there. Katie hilariously comments that since everyone’s still fighting with Stassi, it’s only the four of them hanging out (the two Toms, her and Kristen) and “that’s no fun.” Ha! I like Katie more and more with every episode. The gang discusses Frank’s firing and what Stassi’s going to do now that another one of her allies has fallen by the wayside. The two Toms think that eventually she and Jax will achieve some sort of peace because they’re both so much alike. True dat. Tom Sandoval points out that they’re both crybabies and I begin to like HIM more and more with every episode.
Inside track: don’t expect a reunion, but everyone can still stand to be in the same room together at this point.
At Stassi’s, Frank attempts to explain commercial real estate to her, and that’s comedy gold. Also comedy gold, Frank is clearly drunk and claiming that he meant to get fired and it’s Frank: 1, Vanderpump: 0. Frank keeps making fun of Stassi when she tries to be “serious” and the two wind up fighting. Basically, Frank keeps pointing out that he’s Stassi’s personal assistant and she enjoys ordering him around, and Stassi keeps insisting that she doesn’t ASK him to do things for her – he just does them of his own volition. But then she follows that with the threat that if he doesn’t want to do nice things for her, she’ll find someone who will. Stass? Making your relationship contingent on your boyfriend doing shit for you is the same thing as asking your boyfriend to do shit for you.