Stassi interviews that she and Jax have serious issues, one of which is the fact that he doesn’t come every night. As in he spends every OTHER night away from their apartment. Good catch, Stassi! The couple continues to fight in front of guests until Lisa has to step in. Stassi sneaks away and Lisa tells Jax to shape up and warns him that it’s his butt on the line if he and Stassi can’t get along at work. And we all know she’s contractually obligated to fire someone this season, so he’d better take her seriously. Hilariously, Stassi interviews that the two have talked about marriage countless times. WHAT? Why? Stassi rightly points out that since Jax’s modeling career isn’t as steady as it used to be, she’d have to be the breadwinner, and I’ll bet that’s something our little, southern Daddy’s Girl just ain’t up for. Marriage. Maybe in Vegas, but even that’d be pushing it.
We leave the restaurant and head to Inflictions (where you should totally go for tattoos), so Scheana and her Mom can get matching hummingbird tattoos. And before you say mother/daughter tattoos are trashy, the tats are for Scheana’s grandma and Scheana and her mom are best friends. So only a LITTLE trashy. Scheana’s mom advises her to kill Stassi with kindness and Scheana interviews that it’s good to have a support system in a city like LA, because it can get rough. She thinks she’s more equipped to handle the bullshit having grown up there. She’s not wrong – I love LA natives. I would populate my friend group with them exclusively, but that’s like trying to populate your friend group with truffles – hard to find and expensive.
And because we haven’t seen enough of Stassi and Jax fight, we meet them for lunch at Stout WHERE I USED TO WORK HOLLA!!!! Stassi orders a sauvignon blanc at a beer bar and steps one step closer toward her Orange County future. This lunch is the only evidence I need that these two need to break up eee-fucking-mediately. Jax voluntarily slept in his car the night before and Stassi just doesn’t get it. Why would a MAN sleep in his CAR instead of coming home to his APARTMENT with his girlfriend of TWO YEARS. That’s how she TALKS. I hate IT. You know what I hate more? The fact that she’s acting so incredibly superior to her boyfriend right now when she is clearly missing the fact that he is cheating on her SO HARD. You wanna know what guy sleeps in his truck instead of coming home to his girlfriend? NO GUY. That guy is lying. Stassi continues to berate Jax in public until he finally agrees to “grow up,” and we cut to Jax interviewing that when he and Stassi fight, he just shuts down.
And leaves to bone other girls.
I gotta say, I hate it when I meet crazy insecure people and they’re with someone that legitimizes their crazy insecurities. Poor Stassi?