Vanderpump Rules Recap: Guess who’s back… Back again…

Vanderpump Rules

By Alejandra | Thursday, January 17, 2013 | 3:32 pm | 8 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Vanderpump Rules

Then, to make matters worse, Scheana and Jax are king and queen of the float (cause let’s face it, Scheana’s way prettier), and Scheana makes the mistake of rubbing sunscreen on Jax’s back.  Aaaand, yeah.  Kind of on Team Stassi with this one.  Scheana protests when Stassi AND Kristen make it their place to tell Scheana whom she can and cannot rub lotion onto.  I hate to say it, but Scheana needs to accept that she can’t rub lotion on crazy bitch’s boyfriends.  It’s just better for everyone.

Interestingly, Kristen gets really involved in the drama considering her stance last episode which was all, “Give Peace a Chance.”  It prompts Lisa to comment that where there’s drama, Kristen usually inserts herself into it.  That’s an interesting bit of foreshadowing…

Are you the devil…?

After the parade, Stassi’s a (drunk) mess at work, and Lisa tells her to shape the fuck up and put a Goddamn gameface on.  So Stassi heads out to the back to cry on Katie’s shoulder.  Because it’s not incredibly crowded in the restaurant on gay pride with 1800 gay bars literally within spitting distance.  She cries and cries and cries, this time about how harsh Lisa was telling her to buck up when she ALWAYS keeps everything so bottled up that it just came out this one time!  Bitch, you keep nothing bottled up.  Ickiness goes in and gets spat out with a rusty nail chaser when anyone crosses you.

To make matters worse, when Stassi finally decides to clean herself up, Jax takes her out back to talk.  She flips out sideways on Jax for taking shirtless pictures with Scheana “the homewrecking whore.”  Jax tries to defend himself but eventually gives up because Stassi just.  Won’t.  Stop.  Attacking him.  It’s painful to watch.  They part ways, nothing resovled, and I’m happy not to have to watch it anymore.

After commercial, we head to Peter’s birthday party at Mixology and when Jax finally arrives, he heads straight to the bar, downs seven shots and does NOT say hello to his girlfriend before.  So they break up.  Seriously, that’s what happens.  Scheana gets drunk and confronts Stassi about the sunscreen incident, and that’s kind of hilarious, but other than that, pretty much Stassi and Jax break up because he likes alcohol more than his girlfriend.  Ha!

It’s not FUNNY!

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About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    I want some more insider info Alejandra!

    We were not allowed to drink during our shift…But I think that might be a WA State law kind of thing. If we worked lunch and our shift ended early we had to eat in the “break room”. If we took smoke breaks, that made it really hard cause we didn’t have an “out back behind the restaurant”, we actually stood in front and off to the side with all the people waiting for tables!

    Yes, we had uniforms…the changed alot in the 7 yrs I worked at The Old Spaghetti Factory. When I first started as a busser it was black pants and an OSF polo shirt. When I was a hostes, it was a knee length skirt, button up shirt, or sweater set, black slip resistant granny shoes, and nylons had to be worn, or black dress pants. As a Server at one point it was khaki pants and white polo shirt. Which was stupid as shit! then it went to Blue button up shirt with khaki pants, that was stupid too! Then it was black slacks, white button up shirt and black floor length apron, you know kind of like The Olive Garden…When I first started there I was 17 and made 4.90 and hour…we got paid less because we made tips…

    We were told by Managers not to “date” any of our co-workers, but once the Store Manager started dating one of the servers that went to shit! Like I said, we all dated, we all partied together…For the most part it was fun. But I can tell you this, I will never go back to being a Server!

    Kevin Lee was on a few episodes of Beverly Hills Brides or some stupid bride show on TLC. I can’t remember.

    Like I said in the MiniCap–I read Stassi’s Q&A on the Bravo blog…She is one Delusiona Bitch….(yes it should be delusional, but I made the spelling error once in a T&T recap, and it has stuck on the gasm ever since)

    Keep up the great work, Dish when you can, but I think you spoiled the Scheana Shae breakup…not that we wouldn’t see it coming!

  2. 2
    Alejandra
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    Whoa, there, I didn’t mean to say anything about Scheana and Shea breaking up – just that their relationship is real. That sentence should’ve read “the break ups ( Stassi and Jax) and the relationships ( Scheana/ Shea, Tom/Kristen and Tom/Katie) are real.” No spoilers!

  3. 3
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 4:26 pm

    Ok, HEHHEH, But if it was to happen, who wouldn’t see that one coming? Stassi just rubs me the wrong way…Entitled is what comes to mind

  4. 4
    labowner
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    Funny, Stassi doesn’t get it is her behavior that drives men to cheat. Stassi, the opposite attitude will keep men where you want them to be. Be the free spirit that doesn’t care, and Jax will.

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    Why isn’t this showing up under recaps? At least on my firefox screen you are not here Alejandra.

  6. 6
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    @Lab, I use firefox also…In the comment section it does come up, but in the new recaps it doesn’t…Maybe we pissed off one to many pageant moms again :) JK!

  7. 7
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    I hate Stassi, but I can kind of see where she’s coming from. She wants Jax to grow up, take the lead in their relationship, be financially and emotionally responsible, but he makes her feel completely insecure with his passive-aggressiveness. He wanted to break up with her without looking like the asshole and he can play the “she’s a crazy bitch” card and the entire viewing audience (such that it is) is on his side. We all know he’s a cheating piece of shit and we excuse it because Stassi comes off as completely paranoid.

  8. 8
    WaffleBoy
    Posted January 21, 2013 at 9:23 am

    Stassi orders a sauvignon blanc at a beer bar and steps one step closer toward her Orange County future
    That was one of the best things I’ve read in awhile, thanks.
    And this is just from one guy’s perspective, but I’ve never seen a guy driven to cheat on his girlfriend. They cheat because they want to and they can find somebody to cheat with. Guys leave their girlfriends for acting like horrible people, but cheating? Nope that’s all on Mr Man. At least that’s my opinion

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