Speaking of poor behavioral choices, let’s visit Tom and Kristen’s apartment and watch Tom shave his forehead. What the fuck is that? I have NEVER seen a dude do that! Why would you want to raise your hairline and show off your already massive forehead?? I’m so confused – feel free to weigh in on this, Gasmii. Kristen feels the need to tell us that Tom is pretty high-maintenance when it comes to his looks, then we watch him whine about bullshit hairspray for ten minutes. He sounds like a keeper. Looks like Kristen has a foot out the door of their five year relationship – when asked where he sees himself in five years, Tom answers that he’ll be married to Kristen with a couple of kids. Kristen says she’ll be… doing good work and hopefully famous.
At some kind of weird herbal tea bar, Scheana meets Tina, and a dynamic duo is born. Scheana interviews that since she’s been getting into music recently, she and Tina, a singer, have been hanging out more. I’m surprised Tina, a legitimate singer hasn’t wrubg Scheana’s neck for presumption, but Tina seems cool, so she’s probably plotting some kind of downfall that is less messy. Scheana wants to import Tina from Villa Blanca so she can have someone there who’s got her back. Can’t say I blame her. With Scheana making work at Sur sound SO good, Tina is still hesitant. I’m sure her hesitation will last roughly 15 minute and she’ll be featured prominently next episode. I hope so – this show needs less assholes.
At work later, Scheana shows up and picks the GREY DRESS. Only Stassi wears the GREY DRESS. DOOOOOM!!! Stassi snits about that for a minute to Kristen and Katie. They both roll their eyes because she’s s fucking moron, then she interviews proudly about how she’s gonna make Scheana’s life hell until the other girl quits. Stassi’s a standup lady, tha’ts for sure. She starts off by giving Scheana bullshit sidework, and Lisa notices immediately. She advises Scheana to stand up to Stassi, and Scheana tries, but their confrontation devolves into a screaming match pretty quickly. Stassi refuses to budge on her opinion of Scheana, but Scheana, for her part, stands up for herself and basically tells Stassi she’s not going fucking anywhere. Good for you, Girl.
“I’m not taking off this fucking dress till the day I die, either. Suck it.”
The dudes sit at the bar and discusss their women. Stassi has Jax totally whipped, and it’s kind of hilarious. I predict he will sleep with several other people before the season is out. The rest of the dudes can’t seem to stand Stassi much either – leader of the pack my ass. The staff goes out to brunch together and Jax and Stassi fight some more. In front of their friends, who really seem to enjoy it. At one point Jax straight up calls her the devil, and I can’t agree more, at this point.