Vanderpump Rules Recap: Show Biz Loves Crazy

Vanderpump Rules

By Alejandra | Tuesday, February 26, 2013 | 11:46 pm | 26 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Vanderpump Rules

Kristen meekly asks Stassi if they can talk outside, and then proceeds to eat even more shit than I thought she would.  After a few lame attempts at trying to point out that Stassi’s behavior was completely unreasonable, Kristen just bows to Stassi’s unyielding presence and takes responsibility for abandoning her friend and “driving” Stassi to Frank.  The two make up, and I don’t think Stassi’s had a better day since her mom told her that they were descended from royalty. 

“I missed walking all over you SO MUCH!!!  Love you, mean it!”

Commercial!

At Lisa’s house, it’s time for the annual Sur photo shoot with all the staff.  Oh, what the what?  I’ve heard of a lot of ridiculous bullshit in the Los Angeles restaurant scene, but for PITY’S SAKE.  Meat market, much?  LA restaurants certainly put a premium on looks when hiring staff, but having an actual photo shoot for it is pretty… special. 

Aside from all that, it looks like a ton of fucking fun.  Lisa sends the girls up to the small boutique known as her closet and lets them pick out jewelry, and then everyone gets dressed, pretty and messes around in the pool.  Don’t believe anyone that says modeling is harder than it looks.  Modeling is getting dressed (often with assistance) and galavanting around in front of a photographer.  I will go toe to fucking toe with Tyra Banks on that one.  I’m not saying it’s easy, but let’s just say I think we’re all motivated to figure out how to look at a lens properly when we’re getting paid to dress, smile and eat craft services. 

In other, less diamonds and rose news, Lisa pulls Stassi aside and tells the young “lady” that bringing Frank to Villa Blanca for dinner is what they call in the business, “naked shitdisturbing.”  And Stassi should cut it the fuck out – especially considering Lisa had just fired him.  Of course Stassi claims that she never, EVER intended to cause any drama, but she might as well have said that she just blew Ken in the bathroom for all Lisa believes her.  Jax ain’t too happy about said dinner, either, and confronts Stassi poolside.  He interviews that he loves Stassi, but finding out about this dinner with Frank is sowing the seed of doubt in his mind…  Jax?  Remember the level of commitment you poured out to Stassi in the dog shop?  Remember how you said you would do ANYTHING to be with her and you’d never give up?  I hope you remember, because it was probably like, a week before.  Are you really, REALLY going to whine like a bitch when you hear she had dinner with someone?  Nut UP, Son. 

 Live up to that sock in your speedo!

Stassi assures Jax that he isn’t wasting his time with her, but she’s allowed to see whom she wants.  Jax puts on his sad face, but not too much because he’s got some very important photos to take  – hey, he’s a professional.

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About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

26 Comments

  1. 1
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 12:17 am

    Well if there is another season, I’ll be watching. Yeah I just said that!!
    I am shocked that RHOM was even brought back for a second season. I barely made it through DC and refused miami!

    Will be back for the reunion ;)

  2. 2
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 3:17 am

    Has anybody else noticed that Larali looks just like Katie Holmes used to before she got Princess Di style uter-rented by the Scientologists?

    Speaking of people’s looks. I don’t see where Stasslococcus looks that much better with her false chin than her before pics.

    But I did notice she’s got 1 eye that likes to go Miss Andy on her. Her family should’ve spent their Amazing Race $ fixing that instead. Since she wants to model.

  3. 3
    featherhead
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 4:40 am

    Sounds to me like the “lady” in Vegas scammed Jax. Dumbass sent her money for an abortion – was he even sure she was pregnant and if so – was it his?? I hope she got a grand from that loser! If he wanted to come clean with his lies, why do it at the party? Cannot wait till the reunion!

  4. 4
    Miss Molly
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 7:21 am

    Jason (now that I know his real name I refuse to use the other one) – they are called condoms.

  5. 5
    MissKris RTVfan
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 7:26 am

    I also admit if there’s a 2nd season I’ll watch. I’m down to only watching the NY, NJ and BH housewives (!! only?!) so I need another Bravo show. I can’t stand Stassi’s face. Really? Chin implant? She needs another one. She has the \homely girl gets a makeover\ face and she always looks like she just had a huge crying jag. Always puffy and bloated looking.

    I know it’s so superficial to pick on her face, but this is how I release my inner meanness I guess!

  6. 6
    Jaime Sommers
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 8:20 am

    Stassi looks like a less attractive horsier version of Chelsea Clinton. Yeah, I said it. And LL… really? I wonder how many actual talented, better looking acting students wanted to down a bottle of scotch and vicoden after seeing her “make it”.

  7. 7
    MissKris RTVfan
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 8:22 am

    Yes! Chelsea Clinton. It was bugging me who she reminded me of.

  8. 8
    MrsRogerSterling
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:03 am

    Stassi is an ugly crier. That’s all.

  9. 9
    labowner
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:07 am

    I heard LL is a veteran of reality tv shows. Back to reading the recap.

  10. 10
    Spababe
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:37 am

    I have to admit that I had my doubts about the show but I’m ready for another season. Hopefully we don’t have to wait another full year.

  11. 11
    labowner
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:39 am

    I’m sorry but after watching Stassi’s behavior with Kristen, I could not help but laugh when Jax was telling her he cheated. She is such a delusional bitch and Lisa is coddling her behavior. Is Stassi Pandora’s Cedric?

    Alejandra, thanks for recapping this shit show for us.

  12. 12
    Stuffed
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 11:52 am

    I have not been following this show that much, but the few times i have it did struck me how pretty Stassi is. I think she has major insecurities, just like many other beautiful women, because they know guys are with them for their looks. Men who goes after her, will go after other pretty girls too: ” if i got her, then maybe i can get someone even prettier too”- phenomenon.

  13. 13
    captain-save-uh-hoe
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    I challenge anyone to find a better line than “live up to that sock in your speedo.” That, my friend, was gold.

  14. 14
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    Maybe LL was playing “crazy,” rather than actually being so? Plus, maybe she wanted to showcase her “acting” talents by playing the sex freak, the psycho and the ingenue within the show’s entire run?She’s crazy… like a formerly meth-addicted fox.

  15. 15
    Spababe
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    Watch next year she comes back pregnant. Remember her and Jax used unprotected sex.

  16. 16
    labowner
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    Derek, check out her IMDB page, she cleans up very nicely and has had a few jobs. I call bull on her being a meth addict unless she has the pictures and scabs to prove it.

  17. 17
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 5:06 pm

    Those two walking STDs princess STASSInfection and Jax totally deserve each other. My absolutely favorite moment of this show was Laura-Leigh telling that cowardly anal orifice Jax off in the bar while he tried to ignore her. Second favorite moment was the snivel wad Stassi asking for the night off because Laura-Leigh was working too.

  18. 18
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    So LL is going to be on the Client List for like 4 or 5 episodes…Man, I happen to like that show….

  19. 19
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 5:38 pm

    Nice Darko reference…

  20. 20
    labowner
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    Featherhead – Jax took to his twitter to say yes the woman did scam him (who knows as he is an admitted liar), is working at SUR and he and Stassi are together? They will be on WWHL on the 4th.

  21. 21
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    ^ nice pull @ labowner.

  22. 22
    labowner
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    Forgot – ewwwwww they share their work dresses.

  23. 23
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:16 pm

    @lab! My dinner! LMAO. Who would ever share that info?

  24. 24
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:49 pm

    So, does Sclera have a better itunes career going than RHOJ hosewife Melissa Gorga?

  25. 25
    featherhead
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 8:10 am

    @labowner – Thanks for the confirmation! As soon as I heard his story, I was like that is the oldest trick in the book! And if the idiot fell for it, he deserves everything he got!

  26. 26
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 8:18 am

    @Aunt Dorsey, not sure, but maybe there’s a Bravo-lebrity channel on Pandora?

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