At Sur, Lisa has a sit down with Katie and Peter about a dinner for Mohammed she wantS to plan. She wants it to be a lovely affaih, Dahling! Only the best servers and there will be served, like, a dinner with many courses. Like a tasting menu…? Her words, not mine. Oh, Lisa. I’ve been defending you to your detractors over this show, but you just made it really hard for me to do so. Interestingly, when Lisa rattles off the list of possible “best” servers to work the party, neither Scheana, nor Stassi is mentioned. Peter does suggest Scheana, but her past with Brandi, who might be in attendance, makes Lisa put her in the “no” column. As for Stassi, no one seems concerned with her exclusion. They also didn’t mention Kristen, but I don’t care about her, so, moving on!
Some time later, Scheana, Stassi and Katie all meet up at the Andaz rooftop pool for some girltime and daydrinking. Damn, that looks like fun. I am mental noting to do that come warmer weather. Since I moved to the beach I’ve become too good for rooftop pools, but now I realize that was folly. Ain’t nobody better than a pool where they bring you drinks.
Everyone has a great time, except for Stassi, who’s got to get her article for Pandora done (oh yes, Pandy’s just GOT to have it, Pandy has absolutely nothing else to worry about but her adorable husband and the fact that if she didn’t ever want to work again, she wouldn’t have to) and is nervous about Kristen showing up. On top of all that, Stassi’s got to have a sit-down with Peter about her bullying of LL. GOOD. That shit was unacceptable. Also, if you’re gonna bully someone, cover your ass more, Stassi. LL is about as sturdy as an Ikea wine glass. You could’ve knocked her out of a job with any number of sly manipulation tactics and no one would have been the wiser.
If you’re gonna bully, bully smart.
Kristen arrives after having been shittalked for about 45 minutes before her arrival. She snidely ignores Stassi and hops off to find a drink with Scheana. Stassi is annoyed that Kristen can’t just be cordial so they all can just get along, and I wonder why Stassi thinks Kristen cares if anyone gets along. That’s the thing about people sometimes – they can happily have a drink with two people they like and one person they don’t like. They just don’t talk to the person they don’t like and things are fine. Go work on your article. Instead of listening, Stassi heads to the bar. #beenthere.
To prove to us more that their relationship is moving even more quickly than we thought and that LL is even more dependent, Jax heads to what looks like an AA meeting with LL! Which should absolutely be televised! Oy. When it’s LL’s turn to speak, she reveals what I think we all knew – that she luuuurved the crystal, and still can’t get her drinking under control. Jax literally does a double-take and by the end of meeting he’s telling her they need to slow things down. HA! Sorry, not fun for LL, but could there have been a hastier exit? He tells her and us that he’s always skipped the dating part of a relationship (you know, the part where the guy pays for stuff?) and headed straight to bf/gf territory. That’s unfortunate given all the vital information that is gathered during dating season. Like whether or not one of you is a former methhead and not quite “sober.”