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Yet another week on “Vanderpump Rules” during which the alliances are redrawn with more ease and fluidity than water through a sieve. Or tequila through a sieve, maybe, which would be more apropos. Last week, Jax crashed Stassi’s party in Vegas with the permission of the friends she most wanted to be there, and it erupted into a(n) hellacious mess. Hilariously, now Stassi has no friends except the also-rans who got to Vegas a day late and missed all the fun. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if your boyfriend cheated on you but he’s more fun than you are, your friends aren’t going to pick you in the divorce.
And predictably, now that she has no friends that are cast members, Stassi chooses this week to start barking up Schaena’s tree. So does everyone else, for that matter. It was a good week for Schaena, and I’m not even talking about her show at the Roxy.
This week opens with Lisa holding a high tea at her place, and she’s using Jax and Peter to… pour? I don’t know why you would need a bartender and a manager to help out with tea, but they are running around in tight jeans and wifebeaters, so maybe there’s a subtle layer of reasoning that I’m missing. But because what goes on in Lisa’s private life if is the sole property of ROBH, she wastes no time in getting down to business with Jax about what went down in Vegas. Lisa’s worked it out that while she DOESN’T care what goes on in the staff’s personal lives, when they’re out together (in a different state) at a restaurant (in a different city), they represent Sur. The fact that Jax and Frank got into “fisticuffs” (ha! You can take the lady out of England…) really concerns her.
I really enjoyed this whole thing, though, I have to say. Lisa immediately dresses down Jax for the bullshit stupid idea of going to Vegas in the first place, and when he claims that he just wanted to be with his friends, she rolls her eyes and cuts him off. Good. Jax needs to distance himself from all forms of bullshit, including the bullshit that it’s A-Ok to be a 33-year-old model/bartender with no savings and no plan for the future aside from “sugar momma.”
Jax is appropriately contrite about his behavior, but Lisa’s still pretty concerned at his ability to work with Frank. Jax, and this surprises me, claims pretty convincingly that both men have no interest in losing their jobs and will remain professional. Lisa, and this doesn’t surprise me at all, thinks there’s no way in hell Frank and Jax can work 30 feet from each other. Jax points out that they never see each other, but clearly it’s not an ideal situation. Lisa sweetly asks if Jax is okay, and he’s not really. He’s still in love with Stassi and knows he fucked up. Lisa shows some compassion gets totally motherly with him when he’s brought to tears over the whole situation. It’s really sweet, y’all. I’M SUCH A SUCKER. Before she and Jax finish, she lets him know that there will be a staff meeting
at the producers’ behest to deal with what happened in Vegas. Holy crap, it’s going to be awesome.