Vanderpump Rules Recap: Twitch Jr. is Born

Vanderpump Rules

By Alejandra | Wednesday, February 6, 2013 | 1:45 pm | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Vanderpump Rules

Yet another week on “Vanderpump Rules” during which the alliances are redrawn with more ease and fluidity than water through a sieve.  Or tequila through a sieve, maybe, which would be more apropos.  Last week, Jax crashed Stassi’s party in Vegas with the permission of the friends she most wanted to be there, and it erupted into a(n) hellacious mess.  Hilariously, now Stassi has no friends except the also-rans who got to Vegas a day late and missed all the fun.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if your boyfriend cheated on you but he’s more fun than you are, your friends aren’t going to pick you in the divorce. 

Sorry, Charlie.  Stop sucking.

And predictably, now that she has no friends that are cast members, Stassi chooses this week to start barking up Schaena’s tree.  So does everyone else, for that matter.  It was a good week for Schaena, and I’m not even talking about her show at the Roxy.

Wait, it was Tina’s show?  Ooops…

This week opens with Lisa holding a high tea at her place, and she’s using Jax and Peter to… pour?  I don’t know why you would need a bartender and a manager to help out with tea, but they are running around in tight jeans and wifebeaters, so maybe there’s a subtle layer of reasoning that I’m missing.  But because what goes on in Lisa’s private life if is the sole property of ROBH, she wastes no time in getting down to business with Jax about what went down in Vegas.  Lisa’s worked it out that while she DOESN’T care what goes on in the staff’s personal lives, when they’re out together (in a different state) at a restaurant (in a different city), they represent Sur.  The fact that Jax and Frank got into “fisticuffs” (ha!  You can take the lady out of England…) really concerns her. 

You know damn well I’m to be there if ANY of you fight shirtless.  You KNOW that.

I really enjoyed this whole thing, though, I have to say.  Lisa immediately dresses down Jax for the bullshit stupid idea of going to Vegas in the first place, and when he claims that he just wanted to be with his friends, she rolls her eyes and cuts him off.  Good.  Jax needs to distance himself from all forms of bullshit, including the bullshit that it’s A-Ok to be a 33-year-old model/bartender with no savings and no plan for the future aside from “sugar momma.”

Jax is appropriately contrite about his behavior, but Lisa’s still pretty concerned at his ability to work with Frank.  Jax, and this surprises me, claims pretty convincingly that both men have no interest in losing their jobs and will remain professional.  Lisa, and this doesn’t surprise me at all, thinks there’s no way in hell Frank and Jax can work 30 feet from each other.  Jax points out that they never see each other, but clearly it’s not an ideal situation.  Lisa sweetly asks if Jax is okay, and he’s not really.  He’s still in love with Stassi and knows he fucked up.  Lisa shows some compassion gets totally motherly with him when he’s brought to tears over the whole situation.  It’s really sweet, y’all.  I’M SUCH A SUCKER.  Before she and Jax finish, she lets him know that there will be a staff meeting at the producers’ behest to deal with what happened in Vegas.  Holy crap, it’s going to be awesome.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6
About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    Holyterror
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    I just can’t get past the fact that Stassi was considered to be in any way 1) attractive 2) a desirable friend 3) a desirable employee in the first place.

    Why isn’t this woman living under a bridge and stealing cat food?

  2. 2
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    LOL @Holyterror! Cats wouldn’t put up with her bullshit. They’d slit her throat and bury her in a giant litter box.
    @Alejandra this was hilarious. I love the pictures of “stars” leading to Dr. Drew. Brilliant!

  3. 3
    Tiger
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    While maybe not pretty on the inside, Stassi is certainly attractive.

  4. 4
    Holyterror
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    @Tiger, You’re far more forgiving than I — and also seem to be deaf and blind.

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    What really angers me is how Lisa keeps this bitch around and explains their behaviors.

    Jax, you’re fucking an addict with obvious trauma from her childhood.

    Pro-tip folks – when you hear grown women with a girl voice they have experienced some sort of tragedy/trauma and that part of their brain stops maturing. Thank you Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla for that knowledge.

    Get off your high horse Lisa – no they are not representing you or SUR unless she paid for the trip.

  6. 6
    SarahRita
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    Peter could be really hot is he shaved off that ridiculous molestache. Just my two cents for this episode.

  7. 7
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 6:45 am

    @Labowner, but since they are being filmed they are representing SUR. Yes no?

  8. 8
    MsMmm msmmm
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 7:40 am

    Even if they are ‘representing’ Sur, who cares? I really have no interest in the personal lives of servers in a restaurant. Good service is the only thing I care about and so should Lisa! All these fools would definitely be fired in the real world.

  9. 9
    labowner
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 9:02 am

    Classy if she felt so strongly about their behavior and how the misrepresented SUR, why didn’t she fire them? She can’t have it both ways.

  10. 10
    labowner
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    Classy that is a good question about who paid for the trip. Wasn’t one of the “K”s complaining about the cost of the trip?

  11. 11
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    To me it sounded like Stassi paid for the food and drinks..

    LL is way to messed up to be on film…Glad I am not the only one that couldn’t get past her baby voice.

    I can’t believe that I watch this show!!

  12. 12
    SurrealGirl
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    Once these kids clock out, they don’t represent Sur. They should be professional on the job but if they want to act like assholes on their own time, they are entitled. I love how Stassi tells Jax he needs to grow up. STASSI, AT LEAST JAX HAS A CAR AND DRIVES! WHY DON’T YOU GO TO DMV AND GET YOUR OWN LICENSE?! YOU TELL JAX HE HAS NO AMBITION, BUT YOU ARE A SERVER/MODEL TOO! YOU THINK YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT CATCH, BUT YOU NEED A BIG GIRL JOB TOO! Stassi reminds me of Maggie from Gallery Girls. She became hated by the \cool kids\ so she kissed Amy’s ass to gain an alliance. Stassi is doing the same shit with Shaena.
    I don’t understand why Lisa keeps her. She says Stassi was close with Pandora, but Pandora never struck me as a bitch like Stassi is. How could they be friends? Stassi drinks on the job, creates a hostile work environment, is over dramatic, and creates problems in general. She is a liability, not an asset. An ass, yes. An asset, no.

  13. 13
    PrincessButtercup
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 5:52 am

    @ holyterror – I agree about Stassi. She reminds me of a slightly better looking Chelsea Clinton. She has a good body, that’s it. I can’t get past the face. And with her sparkling personality it makes her look that much uglier to me.

  14. 14
    andsoIsay
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 7:18 am

    yes, I knew I’d seen Stassi before. Always in the middle of her parents Bill & Hilary. the resemblance is there, but Chelsea has the class that Stassi lacks

  15. 15
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 8:14 am

    I’m actually starting to, dare I say it, enjoy this show. I hate Jax/Stassi and this show has absolutely no rooting interest, but I’m into it for the pure soap aspect of it. We all know Jax/Stassi are going to wind up back together because that’s what all self-involved nitwits do, once they make the person they’re actually interested in jealous. I actually do feel kind of bad for rebound sex toy, Laura Leigh, and I hope that all of this doesn’t send her spiraling toward drug use again. Hopefully, she has her sponsor on speed dial. Or the phone number for the casting director of “Intervention.”

    Less Scheana’s on-stage gyrating, I was hoping we could see more of Tina and her performance. She seems cool, level-headed, awesome, and is actually attractive!

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.