Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
Elsewhere (Los Feliz to be exact), Stassi and her mom head to the Alcove. Gasmii, if you’re not from LA and plan to visit someday, you must go to this place. You must. It is by far one of the best bakeries/bars/coffee shops I’ve ever been to, and it’s only a little crazy overpriced. But where else can you get a slice of blue velvet cake and a Sazerac? But enough tourism, let’s get to know Stassi’s mom! According to Stassi, she and her mother are exactly alike. They’re both dramatic and intense, but also princesses at heart. Are those things supposed to be different? Her mother lives 60 miles away from Stassi, and is divorced from Stassi’s father. Shocking. Just shocking. To be honest, despite her super stiff face, I like the fact that when Stassi relates the whole Vegas story, her mother is aghast not at the Jax shenanigans, but the fact that Stassi was sharing a room with Frank. Whom she just started dating. Ha! Love it. At the end of the day, of course Mama Schroeder supports with her daughter when it comes to Stassi’s friends clearly siding with Jax in the breakup, and she KNEW Jax wasn’t right for her daughter. For the entire TWO YEARS they were dating she knew.
In case you missed the pilot, Scheana’s a singer! Well, not so much a singer as a “pop star,” because “pop stars” don’t have to have as much talent in one single area. They can be mediocre at many things and land an opening gig at the Roxy if they know the right people. Case in point, Scheana will be opening for Tina this week at the Roxy. In a segment that will make you cry if you have some sort of dream that it takes hard work and talent to become a working artist, Scheana heads to the studio to rehearse for the concert. She needs some backup singers/dancers, so she grabbed two of her friends to help. Here is the list of things Scheana and Her Friends are bringing to the table that have earned them this incredible opportunity:
You’ll notice I didn’t mention the ability to sing/dance. There are three dudes present at this meeting, one of which is the porn-producer lookalike we met in the finale, one is a middle-aged normal who looks like he might not be in this SOLELY to fuck girls, and the other one is some Indie kid who recently sold out who looks like he would rather be eating his own face than sitting in on this meeting. While the other two producers advise Scheana to come up with a routine of some kind because the stage is biiiig and Scheana is smaaaallll, so they should move arooooound, Indie Guy says not a word, and is probably wondering if he can afford some sort of plastic surgery to make sure he’s never recognized after this airs.