Vanderpump Rules Recap: Twitch Jr. is Born


Scheana interviews that she feels bad for LL, but the girl should have known what she was getting into hopping on Stassi’s boyfriend so soon after Stassi’d gotten off.  Conversely?  Stassi should have known better than to piss off a former methhead.  End of discussion.

Now it’s time for a staff meeting!  Note to Gasmii?  These kinds of staff meetings only occur at restaurants that come packaged with reality shows.  If you caused this many problems at a restaurant that wasn’t on TV, your ass would be fired, and about 300 people would be lined up that afternoon to take your fucking place.  End of story.  Lisa spouts some shit about the staff representing Sur when they go out as a group (to a different restaurant in a different city in a different state), but really she just wants to play Miss Andy for awhile.  Highlights: Jax takes full responsibility for coming to Vegas and starting shit, but I fall asleep during his apology.  Take it for granted it showed some mild tendencies toward humanity.  Stassi and Katie get called out for getting in a fight, but Stassi claims she could never have gotten in a fight because she’s not a ghetto bitch.  Damn straight – you’re not nearly as fun to be around.  Lisa points out that she kind of is a ghetto bitch and Kristen laughs and laughs.  THEN LL calls out Stassi for text-harassing her and reams her GIANT new asshole for said behavior, and Scheana laughs and laughs.  The whole thing is kind of a joke and probably causes more problems than it solves, but it sure was fun to watch LL crazy chipmunk all over Stassi, and Stassi get so speechless the only thing she can do is bitch and smoke with the 2nd String after the fact.

We head for a much-needed commercial and head back to Scheana’s dance rehearsal.  Apparently Scheana’s trained as a dancer before, but it’s been awhile.  But, she’s a cheerleader!  The teacher basically gives them some moves and makes sure they’re all wearing shorts under their dresses, and I shake my head for starving artists everywhere.

The night before the show, Stassi and the 2nd String head out to dinner and discuss whether or not they’re going.  Stassi wasn’t planning on it, but once she finds out that Scheana’s opening, she shit talks it for about 15 minutes and then decides to get her shift covered so she can go, for the sole purpose of making fun of Scheana.  She is absolutely gleeful at the opportunity to watch Scheana fail, and it’s sooooo unattractive.  I have absolutely TALKED about doing things like that, but from a karmic perspective, talking is a lot different than getting dressed up, paying money and doing  I certainly didn’t expect any better from Stassi, but she’s being such a cunt in this scene, it made me like Scheana’s song a little more. 

And for that, you will pay.

About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    Holyterror
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    I just can’t get past the fact that Stassi was considered to be in any way 1) attractive 2) a desirable friend 3) a desirable employee in the first place.

    Why isn’t this woman living under a bridge and stealing cat food?

  2. 2
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    LOL @Holyterror! Cats wouldn’t put up with her bullshit. They’d slit her throat and bury her in a giant litter box.
    @Alejandra this was hilarious. I love the pictures of “stars” leading to Dr. Drew. Brilliant!

  3. 3
    Tiger
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    While maybe not pretty on the inside, Stassi is certainly attractive.

  4. 4
    Holyterror
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    @Tiger, You’re far more forgiving than I — and also seem to be deaf and blind.

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    What really angers me is how Lisa keeps this bitch around and explains their behaviors.

    Jax, you’re fucking an addict with obvious trauma from her childhood.

    Pro-tip folks – when you hear grown women with a girl voice they have experienced some sort of tragedy/trauma and that part of their brain stops maturing. Thank you Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla for that knowledge.

    Get off your high horse Lisa – no they are not representing you or SUR unless she paid for the trip.

  6. 6
    SarahRita
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    Peter could be really hot is he shaved off that ridiculous molestache. Just my two cents for this episode.

  7. 7
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 6:45 am

    @Labowner, but since they are being filmed they are representing SUR. Yes no?

  8. 8
    MsMmm msmmm
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 7:40 am

    Even if they are ‘representing’ Sur, who cares? I really have no interest in the personal lives of servers in a restaurant. Good service is the only thing I care about and so should Lisa! All these fools would definitely be fired in the real world.

  9. 9
    labowner
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 9:02 am

    Classy if she felt so strongly about their behavior and how the misrepresented SUR, why didn’t she fire them? She can’t have it both ways.

  10. 10
    labowner
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    Classy that is a good question about who paid for the trip. Wasn’t one of the “K”s complaining about the cost of the trip?

  11. 11
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    To me it sounded like Stassi paid for the food and drinks..

    LL is way to messed up to be on film…Glad I am not the only one that couldn’t get past her baby voice.

    I can’t believe that I watch this show!!

  12. 12
    SurrealGirl
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    Once these kids clock out, they don’t represent Sur. They should be professional on the job but if they want to act like assholes on their own time, they are entitled. I love how Stassi tells Jax he needs to grow up. STASSI, AT LEAST JAX HAS A CAR AND DRIVES! WHY DON’T YOU GO TO DMV AND GET YOUR OWN LICENSE?! YOU TELL JAX HE HAS NO AMBITION, BUT YOU ARE A SERVER/MODEL TOO! YOU THINK YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT CATCH, BUT YOU NEED A BIG GIRL JOB TOO! Stassi reminds me of Maggie from Gallery Girls. She became hated by the \cool kids\ so she kissed Amy’s ass to gain an alliance. Stassi is doing the same shit with Shaena.
    I don’t understand why Lisa keeps her. She says Stassi was close with Pandora, but Pandora never struck me as a bitch like Stassi is. How could they be friends? Stassi drinks on the job, creates a hostile work environment, is over dramatic, and creates problems in general. She is a liability, not an asset. An ass, yes. An asset, no.

  13. 13
    PrincessButtercup
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 5:52 am

    @ holyterror – I agree about Stassi. She reminds me of a slightly better looking Chelsea Clinton. She has a good body, that’s it. I can’t get past the face. And with her sparkling personality it makes her look that much uglier to me.

  14. 14
    andsoIsay
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 7:18 am

    yes, I knew I’d seen Stassi before. Always in the middle of her parents Bill & Hilary. the resemblance is there, but Chelsea has the class that Stassi lacks

  15. 15
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 8:14 am

    I’m actually starting to, dare I say it, enjoy this show. I hate Jax/Stassi and this show has absolutely no rooting interest, but I’m into it for the pure soap aspect of it. We all know Jax/Stassi are going to wind up back together because that’s what all self-involved nitwits do, once they make the person they’re actually interested in jealous. I actually do feel kind of bad for rebound sex toy, Laura Leigh, and I hope that all of this doesn’t send her spiraling toward drug use again. Hopefully, she has her sponsor on speed dial. Or the phone number for the casting director of “Intervention.”

    Less Scheana’s on-stage gyrating, I was hoping we could see more of Tina and her performance. She seems cool, level-headed, awesome, and is actually attractive!

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.