Vanderpump Rules Recap: What happens in Vegas…

Hey Gasmii!  Guess what?  Jax dive bombs Stassi’s birthday party in a brilliant plan to win her back, and it totally fails.  Who saw that coming?  I can’t tell if Jax is just incredibly stupid or if he just knew this was a way to cement his presence in the cast.  I suppose those things aren’t mutually exclusive.  Let’s get started!

Stassi and Kristen are in Stassi and Jax’s soon-to-be vacated apartment packing for Vegas.  Stassi interviews that she goes to Vegas every year for her birthday, so it’s sort of a tradition.  How incredibly imaginative!  And in a move that confirms what an awesome friend Stassi is, she reveals that since not everyone can get off work at Sur for her birthday, she has to strategically invite people.  She’s told the people she REALLY likes first about the trip, so they can ask off.  Then she’ll let the second string know, so when they ask off, Lisa will be forced to say no.  Is anyone else surprised that Stassi’s own friends can’t wait to take her ex-boyfriend’s side and completely alienate her? 

This is a crappy little bed you’re making for yourself, Stassi.

In other birthday news, it’s Shay’s birthday, so Scheana takes him out for cupcakes.  They ooh and aah over how happy they are and I hope they get some kind of unhappy soon, because they’re boring the tits off me. 

Back in the land of the Horrible, But Entertaining, Stassi heads over to Katie’s apartment to discuss the Jax/Frank situation.  Stassi complains that Kristen and Tom are refusing to support her and are taking Jax’s side, and Katie, in a seriously awesome move, tells Stassi that she agrees.  She thinks Frank is taking advantage of the situation and is totally untrustworthy.  Granted, I think Jax was totally stepping out on Stassi (why the fuck wouldn’t he?), but this whole Frank situation stinks.  If I were Katie, I’d be inclined to skepticism as well.  Especially considering that Stassi started seeing him like, five minutes after she and Jax broke up.  I get why Stassi’s upset, but if she stopped being such a demanding bitch to everyone in her life, she might find more friends willing to stand up for her.  But, it’s Stassi’s birthday, so it’s not a great time for her to start being less self-centered.  Bad luck.  She gets pissed at Katie because even though Katie and Kristen have agreed to go to Vegas and celebrate (rough life), neither girl will consent to riding in the same car as the dubious Frank.  Stassi’s not happy, but instead of doing anything to prevent an incredibly explosive situation, she agrees to the arrangement.

Happy awkward birthday!

Frank and Stassi have to drive alone because Katie and Kristen won’t let him in the car and neither will Tom, Tom and Peter.  But what Stassi and Frank don’t know?  Jax is in the guys’ car and plans to crash.  He has a ridiculous idea that this will somehow allow him to find a way to win Stassi back and not, in fact, piss her off abominably.  Good luck!

 There’s no way this could possibly go awry. I mean, look at the maturity level of those involved.