Vanderpump Rules Recap: What happens in Vegas…

Vanderpump Rules

By Alejandra | Wednesday, January 30, 2013 | 6:59 am | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Vanderpump Rules

If anyone still cared about what was happening at the restaurant, it’s really busy and Scheana’s killing it, so she’s well on her way toward pissing off Stassi some more by being successful.

 “Everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room.” Wise words, Ani DiFranco…

Back in Vegas, Stassi’s having a blast at dinner, and Peter’s getting really nervous that if Jax shows up now, something explosive is going to… explode.  DUH.  Peter texts Jax not to come until after dinner – what that will solve, I’m not sure, but it turns out not to matter.  Jax shows up anyway and after politely greeting everyone at a party that he was expressly uninvited to, he insults Frank.

Stassi loses her mind, because that’s what happens when you mix insults with alcohol, and I don’t blame her for a damn minute.  If my friends conspired to get someone I was super-pissed at to come to my birthday, I’d be pissed, too.  I get that no one wants Stassi and Jax to break up, but COME ON.  Either Tom Sandoval is tired of listening to Jax whine, or he really just wanted to see Stassi go nuts.  I find either situation absolutely plausible.  Unfortunately for Stassi, her entire friend group likes her laid-back, fun-loving ex way more than they like her cranky bitch tits, so when she calls out Jax, the only person who supports her is Frank.  And when I say that her friends don’t support her, I mean that Tom Schwartz calls her a bitch and then pours a drink on her.  DAMN!  Just goes to show, you can get away with a lot if people like hanging out with you.

I mean, I get it, Stassi is clearly not easy to love, but it is HER BIRTHDAY and she just got trounced on by someone she didn’t want to spend it with.  Everyone should have boycotted the situation.  Frank starts calling out Jax for living off of a girl ten years younger than him (fair) and Jax calls Frank a rebound pawn (probably also fair).

Jax gets so upset Peter has to carry him out of the restaurant, but the argument follows them outside.  Kristen gets in Frank’s face asking him if he slept with Stassi before she and Jax broke up and I think he says he didn’t.  At some point Frank and Jax try to fight, but Tom Sandoval manages to get in the middle.  He ends up shirtless (and he’s so tiny!) and then the producers get the cast away from the restaurant.  But no one manages to leave the parking lot without Frank and Jax getting into it briefly.  It’s sort of anti-climactic – Frank carries Jax a few feet and then they get broken up.  Literally, that’s how they fight. Hahahaa, hilarious.  Crazy! 

“Dude, this really just looks like we’re happy to see each other.” 

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About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    labowner
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 10:19 am

    “She behaved fine until someone allowed her ex-boyfriend to crash her party.”

    What show were you watching?

  2. 2
    Jammin
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 11:32 am

    I hate that I actually felt bad for Stassi having her birthday ruined.

  3. 3
    mere2142
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    I’ve been racking my brain trying to think of a single redeeming quality these people posses. You know you’re shitty humans when the best I came up with was that Jax went back to Vegas to accompany the girl he knocked up to have an abortion.

  4. 4
    Sunshine
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    I don’t care if it was her birthday..Stassi would have been just as totally mean to people if the tables were turned so she gets no sympathy from me. Karma is a bitch and the laws of attraction show us you attract what you give out….and she is a fake bitch and therefore is surrounded by the same.

    I wish Lisa would fire her, she is a Kyle from RHOBH in her younger years.

  5. 5
    Jones
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    I hope Stassi gets a boob job because since she was previously a little chubby they are sub par.

  6. 6
    C
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    Thought I recognized Stassi from somewhere and finally had an Aha moment. She was on a show called Queen Bees where the premise was that they’d be “reforming” mean girls, ironically enough.

  7. 7
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted January 31, 2013 at 9:49 am

    I’m sure one of these fuckfunnels also said “What happens in Vegas…” Because no one on a reality show can resist it. All I have to do is hear the word “Vegas” said on TV, and my hands are already clenched into fists of pure rage.

  8. 8
    Catherine
    Posted January 31, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Fuckfunnels! Good one @notwithoutmytv

  9. 9
    Bob LobLaw
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 8:42 am

    Did anyone else catch that Stassi’s real name is Nastassia? Does that make her any more tolerable?

  10. 10
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 11:48 am

    Forget Stassi.
    Why did Jax (stupid stupid name) want Stassi back so bad?
    Why would Jax rawdawg a hooker? AVEGAS HOOKER!
    How long do you think it took for Jack to get his 12 year old sister’s sweater over his much large mandibles?

    If my exboyfriend said “How does my dick taste?” to the man I am currently dating I would be so mortified. I would probably move out of state and go into therapy to figure out my shit.

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