X Factor Recap: Fame and Whores (Auditions 5)

X Factor

By PearlBlackDragon | Wednesday, September 26, 2012 | 11:20 pm | 12 Comments
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Posted in: 1, Recaps, X Factor

While we met Sophie, another auditioner was eyeing her and spewing jealousy and hate in her direction. We meet the ever so loveable Tara Simon – 27. Tara is a vocal coach – kill me now – who doesn’t believe her shit stinks. Her attitude to the industry and her own awesomeness bite my ass and she bugs the crap out of Simon too;

Tara Simon – Without You by David Guetta/Usher

DEAR BABY TEQUILA! Why is she doing this to my ears?! This is over singing at it’s best kids. She is SO over trained and over emoting that it is bugging the crap outta me. And where the hell is her lower register? The judges actually agree with me but instead of sending her on her way they give her four YAY!’s. Dumb. Sophie deserved those yay!’s more than Tara did. I hope she crashes and burns all over her ego.

Hey look! It’s tonight’s dad. Tonight’s dad is Daryl Black – 37. Daryl is married with five kids. So he wants a singing career to escape. Or to help his family. He says it’s the latter but I, as a parent, believe it’s the former.  Up on stage he charms the judges and tells us he is going to sing a current song. YAY! I like when people actually sing current music;

Daryl Black – Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes

OH LAWS NO! WHY did he cabaret the hell out of this song? I DO NOT like his version. I couldn’t concentrate on his voice as I was so bothered by what he did to this song.  The judges really like his voice and so they blow smoke up his ass. I would have SLAUGHTERED him for his version of that song. Total wrong song choice in my opinion. But the judges give him four resounding YAY!’s so what do I know.

Our final audition of the night is Trevor Moran – 13. Trevor claims to be a bit of a YouTube celebrity and upon Googling kid I find that he even has an “official” YouTube channel.  But it’s not for singing. It’s for dancing. I smell a fame whore. Wait. What’s that? The staff of the X Factor have lost Trevor. They search everywhere for him. Finally they find him laying in his mom’s lap and kid doesn’t look too well. The X Factor people call 911 and we get a To Be Continued…
So that was that. Do you have any favorites from tonight? Do you hate any of these people as much as I? Do you want a motorcycle cop/scooter brigade to go everywhere in life as much as I do?

Till Next Time,

Love and Poolboys,
PearlBlackDragon

Follow a bitch on Twitter @PearlBDragon

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I live in the wonderful land of Canadia.

I am the warden of a teen and not teen.

In my spare time I like wine, TV, and wine.

Sometimes I like stuff but mostly I like things.

I am loud mouthed and am not afraid to show my true colours.  What you see is what you get.  Unless you add wine.  Then you get more.

In a perfect world I would rule it. And you would all bring me dirty rock stars.  It would be a good life for all even though I wouldn't reward you.  Your reward would be knowing I'm happy. Also, bring wine.  I would like that. Don't be sad. If stuff wasn't all about me it would be all about the Kardashians. Lesser of two evils. Well, more tolerable of two evils. OK well, I at least would encourage drinking. JEEZ QUIT BEING SO NEEDY AND GET OFF MY BACK. I would let you use my air. There. Happy? Now leave me alone.

12 Comments

  1. 1
    Meaghan
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 6:06 am

    PearlBlackDragon, I was in the audience for that session of taping in Providence, so I might give you a little insight here:

    Yes, “OG” really was that hilariously bad. Demi and Simon kept mocking them for the rest of the show, and afterwards, the emcee said, “well…that just happened.” Ha! Oh, they were so bad, my mother and I couldn’t stop laughing and making fun of them (we still do!).

    Dinah Jane actually didn’t start off singing “If I Were a Boy”–she sang something else first, Simon stopped her shortly into it and asked if she had anything else, and that’s what she went with. They let her do almost the entire song. Editing! I was pretty far back from the stage, so I couldn’t see her very close up, but yes, she looks way older than “15″.

    Changyi Li was HILARIOUS. Oh man, Demi was nearly peeing herself with laughter. After awhile, Simon just said, “what the hell” and let her do the entire song. I’ll agree, best audition ever. Again, edited for time, but he really did say the bit about her being cast as the iceberg in a remake of Titanic, which was awesome. Love you, Simon!

    I’m not sure if they showed the group of 3 who made it in the montage, as I was at drama club rehearsal, but if not, I’m sure we’ll see them at boot camp.

  2. 2
    KartofflMuter
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 9:46 am

    I agree with you on just about everything. Tired of babies declaring their ”whole lives ” have been spent dreaming of this one chance. Yuk! And Gene Simmons isn’t a great singer.He has a gimmick. Now he has money. That doesn’t translate into a voice for the daughter. She was -bad-really bad. Tara was better-but her attitude made her bad news.Universally,the auditioners that get ahead are polite, humble, and endearingingly sincere. They have personalities, not just funny hair or odd hats or famous dads. I have to watch Dinah again.
    I thought she had something odd about her but I thought it was perhaps,backwoods dentistry.
    Really thought the judges yes-ed too many people-and calling them stars? Criminal.

  3. 3
    juddfan
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 10:17 am

    I agree too, they must have a diaper vendor truck in the parking lot at these things!!!

    @Meaghan, we’re you there to try out, and did you?

    I was home late, after a night out, so I didn’t really focus much on this running in the background. No one knocked me out.

    Looks like the kiddies have a tough cookie to crack . . . unless they get lumped into lammo vocal groups . . . sigh . . . like how well the kid who was back did. I will say, he was rather adorable, cute dimples, and his song was well done, very modern, moved the right way, seemed simple enough, and he sang it ok. Not bad for an audition with an original.

    I want to write, “If I Was a Girl”, just so all my friends can say, “You mean you’re not!?”

    No one has been as good as some of the kiddies from last week . . . I do kinda like boot camp. Last time, at judges houses, everything screamed sleaze to me . . . so we’ll see if this goes any better.

    I would have told Changy Li to try comedy. She was reminding me of Judy Tenuta a bit . . .

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 11:12 am

    I always wonder what the children of people like Mr. and Mrs. Simmons think, as they watch their parents slowly transform into freaks of plastic surgery?

    I agree these auditions shows are awful. And incredibly drawn out. It would make a lot more sense to just focus on the people who make it to boot camp, show their auditions and leave it at that. Kind of like the Voice does. But I don’t think the Voice has auditions?

  5. 5
    juddfan
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Parts of these shows move rather fast, IMHO, and I do think the soundtrack running in the background through most of it, is usually upbeat and modern. LA must get rights to songs much more easily or something.

    @Itchy, agreed! Dr. 90210 should hang his head in shame!!! (not sure it was him) Gene was never much to look at without the make up, but she was gorgeous back in the day, there is like no remnant of her former self left in that face . . . sadly . . .

    Wow, I was going to paste a link to a google search . . . but that Shannon was one drrrty grrl!!! Definitely NSFW, hee.

  6. 6
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Shannon Tweed looks scary scary scary.

  7. 7
    Meaghan
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    @juddfan , I was in the live audience. I’m a terrible singer; that’s why I’m a crew member for drama club!

  8. 8
    Tally
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 5:41 am

    I love Trevor’s YouTube videos. He does all of these dance videos at the Apple Store. Well, I loved them when I first watched them. After a couple, it gets old. I’ve never heard him sing, though. If I had as many subscribers as Trevor, I would be taking advantage of that. But he just posts dance videos.

  9. 9
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 6:23 am

    Right, so it’s up to me to ask all the REAL questions? Like, it’s obvious where Ms. Kiss Jr. inherited her rack from. But did she get papa’s tongue?

    Talk about X-factors!

  10. 10
    TNT lover
    Posted October 6, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    Hey! Where are the latest recaps! We are missing three of them now! Please return! I miss you so :(

  11. 11
    speegee
    Posted October 8, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    I’m hoping for more recaps too. I hope you haven’t decided to abandon ship. The Kardashian news was a low blow but carry on! YOU CAN DO EET!

  12. 12
    XxinnocentexX
    Posted October 9, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    On Audition 4 recaps: “OH! And PBD, I’ve been meaning to compliment you on your quick recapping skills. LOVE IT!”

    I feel like I cursed it. :( Hope everything is okay, PBD, but we miss you and your recaps terribly! :( It kinda feels like not worth watching a television show if there’s no recaps to go along with it.
    Hell, who am I kidding? I love watching this garbage!

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