X Factor Recap: It’s Contagious Y’all! (Auditions 3)

X Factor

By PearlBlackDragon | Thursday, September 20, 2012 | 12:04 am | 9 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, X Factor

It’s Wednesday night and you know what that means.  None of you are watching the X Factor.  It’s all about the Big Brother Finale.  Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!
Simon is very ill tonight so sitting in his place is Louie Walsh.  Louie hails from Ireland and he is an on again/off again judge for the UK X Factor.  Louie is a nice guy with a penchant for putting through novelty acts.  Acts like Jedward.  

 

I have no hope for the talent with him being here.  

Our first meeting of the evening comes in the guise of a young lady.  Her name is CeCe Frey.  Why the face tattoo Mike Tyson?  Dear lord that leopard thing on the side of her face is awful. But that fucking tattoo is outdone by her attitude.  She is seeking out other contestants and trying to psych them out by being a See You Next Tuesday. I hope she sucks dirty balls.  But we have to wait before she auditions, mainly so they can show us what a douche bag she is.  

First onstage is the whitest white rapper I have ever seen in my whole life.  His name is Rizzloe Jones.  Rizzloe claims to be a *positive* freestyle rapper.  No smackin’ a bitch up here.  The judges ask him if he has the X Factor.  He says, “Ever since I learned the alphabet. Once I learned the word X.” Yay education!  Rizzloe doesn’t have a song prepared, instead he is going to freestyle rap based on the word X Factor.

Rizzloe Jones – Freestyle Rap

 

I fucking hate this. I really hate originals sang in auditions but even more so this dumb assed “freestyle” thing he has going on.  I couldn’t understand a damned word this kid said. The young ‘uns in the audience seem to like it sooooo…GET OFF MY LAWN. Phew. I feel better. The judges just love him but I have to question how far he will really go.  I mean how do you freestyle Country Night? Meh. He can leave now. But the judges give him four YAY!’s so I guess we get to watch him crash and burn at bootcamp.

Together we get to watch a few more minutes of the wonder that is CeCe.  She is our cocky girl of the day.  I wanna listen to her but I keep getting distracted by that shit on her face. At least when she gets old it will blend in with her age spots.  Man I dislike her.  
CeCe gets up onstage and informs the judges that it is not a tattoo but just paint. EVEN WORSE! It looks like hell. Why would someone not tell her how terrible it looks. And doesn’t she own a mirror? Gimme her number. I’ll help a bitch out if for nothing more than to laugh hysterically as I tell her how awful she looks. Oh I hope she sucks.

CeCe Frey – Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers/Ain’t No Other Man by Xtina

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I live in the wonderful land of Canadia.

I am the warden of a teen and not teen.

In my spare time I like wine, TV, and wine.

Sometimes I like stuff but mostly I like things.

I am loud mouthed and am not afraid to show my true colours.  What you see is what you get.  Unless you add wine.  Then you get more.

In a perfect world I would rule it. And you would all bring me dirty rock stars.  It would be a good life for all even though I wouldn't reward you.  Your reward would be knowing I'm happy. Also, bring wine.  I would like that. Don't be sad. If stuff wasn't all about me it would be all about the Kardashians. Lesser of two evils. Well, more tolerable of two evils. OK well, I at least would encourage drinking. JEEZ QUIT BEING SO NEEDY AND GET OFF MY BACK. I would let you use my air. There. Happy? Now leave me alone.

9 Comments

  1. 1
    Whatsername
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 3:52 am

    Jedward are one of the ‘few’ X-factor acts still standing. Most of the others have all been dropped. The only 2 more popular are Leona Lewis and JLS. So even if you think they have no talent, others say different. 3 albums later they are still going strong, they have even represented Ireland in the Eurovision Song contest not once, but twice – how many other acts can put that in their CV’s???

    X-factor may have originally portrayed them as a ‘novelty act’, but I think the last laugh is on Jedward, don’t you??? I think it is safe to say that they must have the highest earnings of any X-factor contestant that didn’t actually win.

    Louis Walsh has founded/managed many successful bands, including Boyzone and Westlife, so I don’t think it is fair to say he can’t spot talent…………… {and you could have checked how to spell his name also}

  2. 2
    firstandlast
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 8:24 am

    @Whatsername
    I don’t see where PBD says that Louie/Louis can’t spot talent. She says that Louie/Louis has a penchant for putting through novelty acts. Big difference.
    Also, a lot of people don’t even know who JLS are. Or Jedward. An “act” isn’t really successful until they have gained worldwide attention.
    I know who One Direction is. I know who Leona Lewis is. I know who Cher Lloyd is. I even know who Matt Cardle is. They were all on the Xfactor.
    Also, if you have read PBD’s other recaps you would know that she actually likes Louis/Louie. She likes the UK X Factor better than the American.
    You should drink coffee and entire recaps before you spew. Anger/obsession just jumps out of your comment.
    Good Morning!

    PBD love you, love your recaps! I am watching this show a little bit because of your recaps! Keep it up!

  3. 3
    Juliet
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 10:31 am

    Jedward were just 17 and had never held a microphone before when they auditioned for the XFactor three years ago, Xfactor decided to portray them as a novelty act, but still they accuminlated a huge fan base, through their humour, positive attitude and basically raw talent,
    This is what Louis saw in them also, now three years on, the twins are still going strong, they have two double patnium albums behind them, and new album, Young Love, charting all over the world, as well as numerous number one singles accross Europe and Asia, they have fans all over the world, including the USA, and sell out concerts everywhere
    They also have three TV shows they present in The UK and Ireland ..and guest often on many more
    They are both multimillionaires, have represented their country twice in Eurovison, performed for and met Barak Obama ..and were this year chosen the run with the Olympic torch through Ireland.. Not bad for two boys with a dream, who took a chance :)

    BTW if you question their talent, maybe you need to see this
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxZCGqcssnM&feature=plcp

    Not baf

  4. 4
    Flipit Flipit
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    I just have to say I LOVE JEDWARD!! I saw them on the UK version of Celeb Big Brother and they were hysterical. That is all. Thank you. (bows).
    Great cappy PBD!!

  5. 5
    PearlBlackDragon PearlBlackDragon
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    LMAO! Two people demanding respect for Jedward, two members in Jedward. Coincidence? I think

  6. 6
    sandsweeper
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    I am so glad you are posting these videos! I’m not able to watch the show live, and it’s not on Hulu. So this recap lets me feel like I actually got to watch the show. Please continue posting videos! And I love the recaps!

  7. 7
    PearlBlackDragon PearlBlackDragon
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Not. I think not.

    Hahahaha

  8. 8
    Whatsername
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 5:11 am

    @firstandlast
    I took it to mean he can’t spot talent :-

    “Louie is a nice guy with a penchant for putting through novelty acts. Acts like Jedward.
    I have no hope for the talent with him being here. ”

    If you take it to mean something else, that’s fine.

    And Jedward have gained worldwide attention, but possibly not from your country (yet).

  9. 9
    Holyterror
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    I want CeCe to put a plastic bag over her head and go play in traffic. I can’t believe she got through. The outfit alone should’ve gotten her the hook. God Almighty, what a no-talent bitch.

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