Tonight’s episode was short as far as audition episodes are concerned. Only an hour. I guess they need to fill the time slot in preparation for later episodes.
After last night I have some hope for this season as we saw some fairly good singers. Nobody has really blown me out of the water yet but we also didn’t have to watch two hours of suck with the odd good one thrown in. Instead we watched two hours of filler with nine NINE decent singers. At three minutes of song each we wasted 93 minutes. LOL. Imagine if we actually got to watch singers for all that time. That would just be weird. To watch singers. On a singing show. But at least we got to spend time with Kaci the Delusional Debutante. I have been channeling that crazy bitch all day. So fun. Try it!!
First up is a young man named Johnny Maxwell. He loves singing and his mom. His mom believes that he was born to be a superstar. Blech. I am so tired of hearing that. Great that she supports him, but does she also encourage him to follow other pursuits? He is going to be a sad, angry young man when he doesn’t become one of the one percent of one percent that actually make it in the industry. OH well. Maybe he’s great! Dammit. He’s singing an original. STOP DOING THAT PEOPLE!!
Johnny Maxwell – All These People by Johnny Maxwell
He can flow but his voice is barely OK. He is high and flat. Gross. And honestly? I hate his song. Last nights Candy Girl at least had lyrics. In his song you basically repeat All These People over and over again. For some strange reason the judges are all over him with LA telling him that he,”Is exactly what we need.” Damn LA, you drinkin? But he gets 4 YAY!’s so I guess we will get to watch him fail in bootcamp.
Next in line is Lexa Burman. While most might compare her to a daytime hooker, I in fact think she is appropriately dressed to go onstage. And then she opens her mouth. Lexa is a singer, dancer and actor. And she is UBER talented according to herself. Plus she is so hot. Like really hot. It’s like my darling Delusional Debutante threw on a hooker outfit and a brunette wig. Scary in the similarities really. Her over cockiness and her flailing her body around under the guise of “rehearsing” leads me to believe that maybe missus IS a hooker looking for a “daddy” at the packed arena. My suspicions are laid to rest when she goes on stage and hits on both LA and Simon. Gross. Simon calls her a cross between the Jersey Shore and a Kardashian. Which she takes as a compliment. LMAO!
I don’t know the name of the song she is attempting but watch her in all of her glory…