X Factor Recap: Short and Sweet (Auditions 2)

X Factor

By PearlBlackDragon | Thursday, September 13, 2012 | 11:40 pm | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, X Factor

Welcome back.
Tonight’s episode was short as far as audition episodes are concerned. Only an hour.  I guess they need to fill the time slot in preparation for later episodes.
After last night I have some hope for this season as we saw some fairly good singers.  Nobody has really blown me out of the water yet but we also didn’t have to watch two hours of suck with the odd good one thrown in.  Instead we watched two hours of filler with nine NINE decent singers.  At three minutes of song each we wasted 93 minutes.  LOL.  Imagine if we actually got to watch singers for all that time.  That would just be weird.  To watch singers. On a singing show.  But at least we got to spend time with Kaci the Delusional Debutante.  I have been channeling that crazy bitch all day.  So fun. Try it!!

First up is a young man named Johnny Maxwell.  He loves singing and his mom.  His mom believes that he was born to be a superstar.  Blech.  I am so tired of hearing that.  Great that she supports him, but does she also encourage him to follow other pursuits?  He is going to be a sad, angry young man when he doesn’t become one of the one percent of one percent that actually make it in the industry. OH well.  Maybe he’s great! Dammit. He’s singing an original. STOP DOING THAT PEOPLE!!

Johnny Maxwell – All These People by Johnny Maxwell

 He can flow but his voice is barely OK.  He is high and flat.  Gross.  And honestly? I hate his song. Last nights Candy Girl at least had lyrics.  In his song you basically repeat All These People over and over again. For some strange reason the judges are all over him with LA telling him that he,”Is exactly what we need.” Damn LA, you drinkin? But he gets 4 YAY!’s so I guess we will get to watch him fail in bootcamp.

Next in line is Lexa Burman.  While most might compare her to a daytime hooker, I in fact think she is appropriately dressed to go onstage.  And then she opens her mouth.  Lexa is a singer, dancer and actor. And she is UBER talented according to herself.  Plus she is so hot.  Like really hot. It’s like my darling Delusional Debutante threw on a hooker outfit and a brunette wig.  Scary in the similarities really.  Her over cockiness and her flailing her body around under the guise of “rehearsing” leads me to believe that maybe missus IS a hooker looking for a “daddy” at the packed arena.  My suspicions are laid to rest when she goes on stage and hits on both LA and Simon.  Gross.  Simon calls her a cross between the Jersey Shore and a Kardashian. Which she takes as a compliment. LMAO!
I don’t know the name of the song she is attempting but watch her in all of her glory…

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I live in the wonderful land of Canadia.

I am the warden of a teen and not teen.

In my spare time I like wine, TV, and wine.

Sometimes I like stuff but mostly I like things.

I am loud mouthed and am not afraid to show my true colours.  What you see is what you get.  Unless you add wine.  Then you get more.

In a perfect world I would rule it. And you would all bring me dirty rock stars.  It would be a good life for all even though I wouldn't reward you.  Your reward would be knowing I'm happy. Also, bring wine.  I would like that. Don't be sad. If stuff wasn't all about me it would be all about the Kardashians. Lesser of two evils. Well, more tolerable of two evils. OK well, I at least would encourage drinking. JEEZ QUIT BEING SO NEEDY AND GET OFF MY BACK. I would let you use my air. There. Happy? Now leave me alone.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    Lauren
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 12:56 am

    I agree with you on everyone pretty much, so, naturally, I loved your recap.
    I love how LA asked the 13 year old if she rehearsed, like he knew she would bomb, then immediately yelled out when she started singing. I can’t wait to see what age does to her. She really was great.
    Britney lover was totally weird. Even stranger to me, however, was Brit’s reaction. This is a girl who has been a sex icon for the last 15 years. That can’t have been the 1st time some creep had an awkward confrontation with her. She seemed so out of her element, and I found myself agreeing with the guy when he was walking offstage saying he expected her to at least thank him for the flowers. Thanks Brit, you made me agree with a creepy stalker-like guy.
    I loved your Liza comparison to the guy who sang “NY state if Mind” because you also compared him to Adam Lambert, and many said Adam was a little to similar to Liza during his AI season

  2. 2
    Parisi LaRoe Parisi LaRoe
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 6:51 am

    @PearlBlackDragon-I say videos and pics. I am SO glad you posted the video of Carly. She made me cry because her voice is, well, I am still speechless. Brit-Brit’s face when she came out made me love her and I never have been a fan of her.

    PBD, I have to say your recaps made me interested in this show and that is quite a feat. You did an amazing job and I look forward to your recaps this season. <3

  3. 3
    GeorgiaPeach
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 7:43 am

    KEEP THE VIDEOS! I love them and they add to your great recaps.

    Also my favorite of the night was Jason/Liza because nobody expected him to be good and he was amazing. I didn’t watch the last season but so far I am loving this season. For the first time I like all the judges on one of these singing competitions.
    And I’m kinda surprised that Britney wasn’t more gracious to the creepy guy. I know he was weird but she could have just said thank you and been a little more polite. Like Lauren said before this is probably not the first time she had a run in with a crazy fan.

  4. 4
    Meaghan
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 9:10 am

    Thanks so much for posting the videos! I missed this episode due to a prior commitment, but now I’m all caught up (and the episode isn’t on the X-Factor’s website). So please, keep the videos in case I miss anything else :)

  5. 5
    Crabby Old Bat
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    @Lauren: I think Britney handled Stalker Boy exactly like someone who has experience with inappropriate fan behavior would handle him. No eye contact, no engagement, absolutely no thanks for the flowers, or acknowledgement of them – she would just be creating a “moment” and a “connection” with which he would feed his unhealthy fantasies. Simon, also no beginner in the business, did exactly the right thing by taking the flowers and running interference for her. That was not what he expected – if you give someone something, they have to take it, right? And be nice, right? – and that is why, I think, he stood so long on the stage afterwards. That was NOT how he had planned it, and he did not want to leave without getting his special, intimate moment of smiling gratitude – but he had no Plan B for getting it. Just total frustration.

  6. 6
    Lizbot
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    This season of American X-Factor sounds like it’s a vast improvement over the last one (I gave up on last season near the beginning). I still don’t plan on watching though. Whatever it’s flaws, my loyalties are with the Voice for now. One of the things I can’t stand about XFactor (both British and American) is that the editing is so contrived. I always get the sense that the reactions from the crowd, judges, and contestants aren’t sequential and have been spliced together to create “more dramatic” moments. It annoys me. I will probably do what I do with the UK version and just catch the videos on Youtube where I can fastforward past some of the ridiculous editing.

    Also, while she seems to be doing better than I thought she would by a judge, I also find it weird that Britney, who has a reputation for not being able to sing on-key live, is judging people on their ability to sing live. But good for her for landing a gig that can put her in a non-crazy spotlight again.

  7. 7
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 1:03 am

    The song Jersey Kardashian was singing was Too Close by Alex Clare.

  8. 8
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 11:33 am

    I’m with the X factor now because of the Judges. i didn’t know i’d like Demi! but she does add a charm to the show. Britney needs to be nicer to her fans, i’m sorry but most fans are borderline obsessed with her, i know i’m a Brit fan. I dislike how Smug the voice promotion is “don’t judge appearance just the voice” ya only for an initial 2 minute set up, than its like any singing show, Also the format leaves things to be desired. The Cat one of the judges has with him is Rented.. Xtina’s slut wardrobe n drag queen make up annoys me. Also it gets more ratings cause it airs on Hulu, which contributes.
    “X factor 2 U.S.” will be the first singing compettetion show i will ever watch from begging to the End. Thanks to Spears, i hope she comes out of her social media shell.

  9. 9
    amandalee27
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    There are videos online of Britney thanking him for the flowers. It was edited out. I also think some
    of her facial expressions seem from a different clip. I kinda think she might of thought he was making fun of her. She seemed insulted. Disclaimer: I’m obsessed with Brit. She is the only reason I’m watching.

    I don’t watch the voice, but Chrisitina and I have the same theory: A little chunky? Show some
    cleavage and maybe they won’t notice your gut!

    I don’t watch the videos bc I watch the show.

  10. 10
    Lizbot
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    @amandalee – that’s what I mean about the editing. The way they splice things together is so artificial I basically suspect that most of the reactions you’re seeing aren’t connected to the what they show before the reaction. I think there is some potential talent there (hence my intention to watch on youtube), but I find that blatantly manipulative style to be annoying.

    As for the judges on the Voice — I’m not a big fan of them either, and I have huge issues with the format, but I just feel like there’s more of a focus on the actual performances of the contestants than there is on flashy production values – thus it’s more palatable for me to watch straight through. Until the judges start making dumbass decisions in subsequent rounds that don’t seem to be connected to anything but their egos or libidos, but hey, no show is perfect…

  11. 11
    juddfan
    Posted September 16, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    great recap, forgot to comment earlier. The 13 year old was great, but it depresses me that we will soon have contestants with diapers on. How young do they have to be .. . doesn’t life experience mean anything. F disney! Britt, Britt started all this tarting up of the youth, so I guess she’s in the right place.

    I seem to recall Britt Britt has had trouble with stalkers before, she didn’t owe that weirdo the time of day, and I think she’s pissed that they subject her to stuff like that.

    Go Liza, was very much like watching the cat lady, Susan Boyle?, from Britan’s got talent. Simon was a clone in expression.

    My wine glasses are talented too! I would never insult them by insinuating they were a lame contestant on here, LOL!!! You Rock PBD!!!

    How are the ratings, anyone know? I’d be curious . . .

    Also, Liza with the set up, on the one hand, how precocious, on the other hand, they will soon descend into just those kind of performances, so more power to her! Didn’t catch her age, but is she the only over 30 so far? Sorry to use she, just feels right for this one! And I should join twitter and turn her on to my skin products. I have rosacea, and this stuff works wonders with no drugs!

  12. 12
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 12:32 am

    The first kid with the creepy stagemom (who looked like she was ready to fuck her own son) was completely out of breath half-way through his “song”. No way he’ll be able to handle the competition. He needs to stay in school.

    And while fat Liza sang well, I was really distracted by that santorum-stain on his upper lip. Look. If you truly want to perform, and if you insist on trying to jumpstart an unlikely career on a ridiculous reality television show, at least have the good grace to get yourself in shape and properly styled.

    I hate it that they allow little kids to perform on these shows. “I’ve been working for this my entire life” indeed. Especially awkward 13-year-old girls with the musical tastes of Flipit’s mee-maw. As great as she can sing, it’s just way too soon for her — why not wait until she’s 18 and done with high school? Would it really really kill you to wait that long, creepy stage mom and dad?

  13. 13
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 12:33 am

    Also, I’m really enjoying Britney so far. She’s still a bit stiff (well, you would be too if your every gesture for the past ten years has been scrutinized and mocked), but she does an awesome deadpan.

  14. 14
    yeknom
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I love Britney on the X-Factor. I’ll admit that she’s probably the only reason I decided to watch this yr, and I love me some Simon. I just couldn’t stomach the otehr judges last yr. I’m a fair weather singing show fan… I like both X-Factor and The Voice. I’ve always lvoed Christina and Adam makes me drool. I don’t mean to. I just do.

    I vote keep the videos.

  15. 15
    Unlurking
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 5:30 am

    Frustrating to me that the X Factor is now allowing agent-represented auditioners now. According to another website i read ysterday, Carly has a resume longer than mine. She has dne some amazing roles on Broadway, has been in movies, and on TV. Since was like 2006. So half her life, she’s been singing professionally. Totally not what this show is about. Maybe I just misunderstood. I’d prefer the show be undiscovered amateurs.

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