Tonight’s auditions are being held in Greensboro, NC. Apparently the entire town decided to show up because there is not A SINGLE soul on the street. Kinda creepy. Simon, however, uses this opportunity to have his driver show him around. The first place she takes him is a diner for some grits. Grits are a love em/hate em kind of food. I hate em, my brother would sell his child for them. Simon thinks they taste like butter. Probably has nothing to do with the stick of butter they put in his bowl. Ew.
Back at the stadium we meet a young man named Willie Jones. Willie is sporting a killer Kid n’ Play haircut and some good old nineties clothes. I’m almost scared to hear what old school rap/ R & B song he chooses. Willie is a really nice kid though and when LA Reid tells him to stop calling him sir Willie replies,”Yes sir.” LMAO.
The music starts to play, Willie starts to sing, and my jaw hits the floor:
Willie Jones – Your Man by Josh Turner
Goosebumps. Absolute goosebumps. I feel like I am tripping out because this kid is the exact opposite of his image. But oh can he hit those low notes. As the song goes on his range pulls up a bit so I have a feeling this kid is hiding some things. Time will tell. Four YAY!’s for Willie.
Now I complain a lot about not being able to understand the words when people sing but our next auditioner, Kalvin McManigle takes it to a whole new level.
Kalvin McManigle – laskdfhg#%#r4 by !jddir#5
Kalvin is so awful that it turns awesome. I keep watching this and giggling my ass off. And while Kalvin gets four nos from the Judges, he gets a, “Thank’s for comin’ out.” from me.
Standing in line waiting for her big break is Julia Bullock. Julia is the lead singer in a band. The band is pissed that Julia is here trying to become a solo act. It doesn’t help that 1/3 of the band is absolutely in love with her. Like this is uncomfortable to watch in love. Julia lies to the judges when she tells them that the band supports her and is happy for her. I hope she fails. There is nothing I hate more than a liar.
Julia Bullock – Pumped Up Kicks by Foster The People
Meh. She is too peppy for this song. This song is about a kid on a killing spree. No need to smile and show perk all the way through. Julia’s vibrato is awful when she sings this high. Nerves? I am annoyed with the judges when they all tell her how wonderful she is and that they just LOVE her. 4 YAY!’s for Julia. I don’t see her making it past judges houses.
We meet another young lady with the side of her head shaved. Her name is Krysten Colon and she is bubbly and cute and I like her. Krysten doesn’t want to be a hairdresser for the rest of her life so she is here to make her dreams of singing come true. Same old story.